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YES , VIRGINIA |
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Dear Slick : I am 8 years old. I've been following the coverage on the Bill Clinton "Zipper-Gate" scandal. Some of my little friends say there is no such thing as an Erection. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it is so." Please tell me the truth, is there such a thing as an Erection? ~ Virginia Pipeline P.S. A cigar?P.P.S. (I know what a stain is.) But what's seamin? Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can exist in the world which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this vast universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him as measured by an intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia, there are Erections - many Erections. They exist as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Erections! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We'd have no enjoyment, except with adults. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Erections! Your mamma might hire girls to watch all the Santas on X-mas Eve to see if they could spot an Erection, but even if no one saw an Erection coming, what would that prove? Little girls don't usually see Erections, but that is no proof that there are no Erections. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men have seen. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen but graspable in the world. You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love and romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Erections! Thank God! They live and now, thanx to Viagra, live forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.  |