Ms. Dee's Centaurization Medical Updates: April 1, 1998
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WWWCentaur Board Posting # 1111
The following posting was made on April 1, 1998. From what we've been able to determine, it is NOT an April Fool's Joke.
Note to those that track such things: (Report date: April 1, 1998)
As hoped, the ersatz research team and I spent several hours this week end using some very sophisticated medical scanners to probe my condition. Because of the previous week's scans, the E-team was able to improve their analysis. Here are the summarized results.
ITEM ONE: Pelvic changes--Bone
'George', the comparative physiologist, claims that my 'fore-pelvis' is becoming a modified version of the 'shoulders' of a horse. At the same time my 'hind-pelvis' and the knobby bone that connects it to the rest of the body is definitely showing an equine trend. And there are hints that equine legs are starting to form.
ITEM TWO: Pelvic changes--Soft organs
The 'proto-uteri' are developing as 'expected'. High resolution medical scanning combined with almost daily ultrasounds has given the E-team a lot of data. 'Anita', my GYN-OB, expects the organs to be mature within the next two weeks. The fact that the 'proto-uteri' aren't connected to the exterior of the body has her worried though.
ITEM THREE: Pelvic changes--Unknown organs
The only change is an increase in size and the amount of calcium in them. 'George' is still trying to convince me that more invasive testing would be extremely useful and not very painful.
ITEM FOUR: Prelude to Lactation?
Certain members of the E-team are pleased with the changes thus far. According to 'Anita', my milk delivery system is about two weeks from starting production. She thinks that its developing in parallel with Item Two.
Personally the changes are uncomfortable. Tender nipples and an increase in bra size has made the breasts extremely sensitive. It has given me a greater appreciation for what my wife endured when she was pregnant.
ITEM FIVE: Cumulative changes
Twice a day I sit down on an odd piece of equipment that measures my 'hindquarters'. I'm bare bottomed and my tail hangs off the back end of the device.
This equipment is yielding some very consistent results. It indicates that my 'hindquarters' are growing at a rate of .6 centimeters a day. At this point the four centimeter 'shelf' of last week is now an eight centimeter 'shelf'.
The change is a pain in the tail bone. I can't slouch in a chair any more because the 'shelf' is in the way. When sleeping, I can't roll over without a lot of work. And using the toilet is getting interesting.
ITEM SIX: Mental/Physical Health
More of the same. Externally I'm still male where it counts, not that the equipment is operating. (My condition has totally disrupted my normal love making.)
Mentally I may be becoming female. Various trigger points appear to be resetting themselves. (i.e. a male movie star that was just another face is now becoming a sexy face.)
The thought of being female, combined with the thought of being a centaur, makes me feel very strange. If it was one or the other, I believe I could handle it without a problem. When the two are combined, I have to think hard to hold on to reality.
Of course, reality is relative. A few members of the E-team and I decided to pull off an elaborate April Fools' joke. We're waiting for the results.
Physically I'm still in good shape. A skin creme, gently applied, has reduced the torso itch a bit. And the itching caused by the expansion of my rear end is helped by gentle application of a curry comb.
My wife thinks its amusing that I'm now enjoying the creme and curry comb rubdowns. Before I started changing I was extremely ticklish. She considers it a major improvement.
ITEM SEVEN: Cravings
A little less than a week ago I developed a craving for what I call horse oats and equine vitamin supplements. Various experts, E-team and others, felt that this was normal, considering my condition.
At this time I seem to have reached a reasonable balance between human and equine food. Oddly enough, the balance depends upon the sequence of my meals.
If I eat my oats and equine vitamins first I can eat a normal human meal without a problem. If I reverse the order I increase the odds of having an upset stomach. (Salads and PB&J sandwiches are an exception to this rule.)
Biochemical analysis of the food shows I'm getting a lot more out of it than I should. 'George', the comparative physiologist, is carefully trying to determine what type of intestinal flora is causing this jump in efficiency. He says that beef production could be tripled if the e. coli, or the equivalent, could be adapted to cattle.
I wonder about 'George' sometimes.
Thanks for your interest,
Ms. Dee
P.S. This message was delayed due to a combination of the April Fools' joke and family events.
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© 1998-2009 Robynn Denise Smythe Ms_Dee_C@hotmail.com
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