CHILI!

Note: Chili is the stew, Chile is the pepper. A bowl of chile will produce a substantially different effect on your sense of well being than a bowl of chili.

Nobody really knows where Chili comes from. There are as many theories as as there are historians...and almost as many as there are chili cooks. It probably originated in the Southwest border country. In it's most basic manifestation it is a simple stew of beef, beef fat, water and chile peppers...just the thing for Dub Taylor to whip up on the chuck wagon and serve with a plate of beans and cornbread to John Wayne and a pack of hungry (and not very discriminating) cowboys.

There is no "best" chili recipe since there are so many variations of the theme. Depending on what part of the country you are in, you will find chili made with or without tomatoes, beans, pasta, garlic, beer and a dozen other ingredients. The recipe below is my own...and a simple and becoming modesty forbids any comparison to lesser versions.

Ingredients

Meat

Chili is a meat dish. If you aren't into meat (and fat) you are in the wrong department. Don't waste your money on expensive cuts of meat. The cheapest (read toughest) cuts are what you need here. Beef is the traditional base (should be at least 3/4 of the meat component) but you can add whatever else is laying around. I usually add some pork and bacon. A few chunks of spicy sausage like Andouille or Chorizo is a nice touch as well. This is your chance to clean out the freezer. You'll need 4 to 5 pounds of meat, cut into 1/2 inch cubes, (NOT ground meat or hambuger). Traditionally you'll use rendered beef suet although good olive oil will serve the purpose and not kill you quite as quickly. You'll need 3 or 4 tblsp of fat to start, more if the meat is very lean.

Veggies

Veggies serve to flavor the stew as well as create volume and consistency. They need to be added in two steps. The first half go in early and they will cook down and virtually disappear. The second half will go in shortly before serving, just long enough to cook and flavor the stew but still retaining appearance and texture. Chili is an aesthetic experience, pleasing to the eye as well as lethal to the gastrointestinal tract.

4 large white onions
2 large bell peppers (preferably red & green)
4 bulbs of garlic (1 bulb per pound of meat)
(Calm down...garlic cooks down)
Chile peppers, preferably an assortment, preferably fresh but dried will do in a pinch
(as many as you can stand, and then add a few. They cook down too)

Optional
1 small carrot shredded
1/4 cup chopped celery leaves
(Good time to clean out the fridge too)

Chop the peppers, onions, garlic and chiles coarsely and divide into two portions
The carrot and celery leaves, if used, go in with the first batch.

Spices

Cumin: This is what makes it taste like chili. The right (if time consuming and expensive) way is to buy seeds, roast 'em on a cookie sheet and grind 'em with a mortar and pestle. Powder in a jar works too but use a new jar, it loses flavor rapidly after opening.

2 Bay leaves
1 tblsp each dried oregano, dried cilantro, freshly ground black pepper
1 tblsp French's Yellow Mustard
Salt to taste

Note on tomatoes: Traditional chili does not contain tomatoes. It is brown, or, if red, gets its color from the chile peppers. You will not be struck by lightning if you add a can of whole plum tomatoes (chopped in chunks) to the above, but it does make it a different dish. Beware of the "spaghetti sauce effect".

Note on Beans: Traditional chili doesn't have beans in it. They are served as a side dish although there's no rule against mixing them together at the table (except in Texas where someone will shoot you or run you over with his horse). Cooking beans in the chili will soak up the grease and make it taste "bready".

Preparation

In a large iron pot, melt the rendered suet (or heat the oil) and add the meat and the mustard. Stir constantly on high heat until the meat is gray but not browned. (This is important. The meat should shred in the cooking process. It won't if you brown it). When the meat is gray, add water to cover (or a dry lager beer if you want more body), the first half of the veggies and the bay leaves. Turn down the heat to low and let simmer for several hours, until the meat starts to fall apart. If it gets too thick during this process add a little more water (or beer) but don't make it soupy. The second batch of veggies will thin it out.

When the meat starts to shred, add the second half of the veggies, the spices and the tomatoes if you must. Let it simmer for another half hour or so. At this point you can start taste testing. You'll probably have to add cumin, salt and heat (more peppers or a belt of your favorite hot sauce). Adjust the consistency: Thicken with dried hot peppers, masa harina (corn flour) or flour and water paste, or thin with beer. It should be thin enough to ladle and thick enough for a wooden cooking spoon to stand up in it.

The chili is ready to serve at this point (after the thickeners have cooked if you used them). Like any good stew, however, it's better tomorrow, so letting it sit overnight will improve it...and give you a chance to skim off excess grease, if that's your idea of a good time.

Delivery

Traditionally, chili is served in a bowl with tortilla chips, saltines or oyster crackers and LSD (no, not that LSD, the real one: ice cold Lone Star Draft). Personally, I prefer it with fried corn tortillas, a side of Beer Beans, a chunk of Jalapeno Cornbread, a bottle of Chilpotle Sauce and the said ice cold LSD.