Good Times Virus Warning!

If you've been on line more than 10 minutes you've received a hysterical email warning about the ghastly "Good Times Virus", one of the oldest living hoaxes on the Net. The following was posted to the hwg-basics mailing list by Kenneth Mitchell kmitchel@gvn.net who credits it to Brian Wilson bmw@mindspring.com. It is posted here with Ken's permission. If anyone knows the original author I'd love to give him or her credit. For what it's worth, posting this to the list got Ken banned for a week by some officious twit of a List Guide...proving its worth more effectively than I ever could. It's a great list but there really oughta be someplace else to store burned out AOL Guides. :)

Subject: (fwd) NASTY Virus bulletin (fwd)
Date: Fri, 24 Jan 1997 18:32:49 -0800
From: Kenneth Mitchell
To: hwg-basics@hwg.org

Hey there....

There's a particularly nasty version of the Goodtimes virus going around. Please read the following and take precautions as necessary.
*** The Goodtimes Email Virus ***
Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead. Such is the power of Goodtimes; it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
That is all, you've been warned.

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Ken Mitchell Citrus Heights, CA kmitchel@gvn.net
916-449-9152 (vm) 916-729-0966 (fax)
--------------http://www.gvn.net/~creative/-----------------------

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