Grumble and Grouch

Abused Words

At different points in time, words in the English language are abused. Cool is probably one of the most abused in my own vocabulary, though really, one must have a word that one uses to express surprise or pleasure or just as an all purpose exclamation. That one is mine. There are several words that are consistently abused to the point that their true meaning has been watered down, reshaping them to pale ghosts of their former selves.

Love is one of those words.

If you listened to the radio, and you had to discern the definition of the word Love by context, you might come away with the impression that Love is a medical condition that stimulates both the pain and pleasure centers of the brain to the point that the unfortunate victim is reduced to a slobbering idiot capable only of writing bad poetry. You might come away with the idea that Love is an object that you wrap up with a bow and give to someone you admire. Worse, you might get the feeling that Love is a big black pit that you fall into by accident, never to be seen or heard from again.

Almost all common uses of the word Love indicate that it is a noun or an adjective. I don't think that is right. I think Love is a verb. Say, I love you. Diagrammed, that sentence is a verb squashed between two pronouns. Positing that Love is a verb, how can it be that someone might say, "I don't love you anymore."? More properly, that sentence would say, "I won't love you anymore." Action is, after all, a choice.

You probably get my point. I'll move on to the next word.

Friendship.

Friend has become a casual word to describe anyone you might have met in your life and had somewhat positive feelings about. That's not what a friend is. That would be an acquaintance. William Bennett, in his compilation of inspirational stories THE BOOK OF VIRTUES, prefaced one section by defining Friendship: "The demands of friendship -- for frankness, for self-revelation, for taking friends' criticisms as seriously as their expressions of admiration or praise, for stand-by-me loyalty, and for assistance to the point of self-sacrifice -- are all potent encouragements to moral maturation and even ennoblement."

I couldn't agree more. I was recently distressed to have to define a true friendship with a man I have not known very long as 'just friends'. He'd listened and advised and offered a shoulder when I needed one, so to describe the relationship with the word 'just' diminishing it seemed weak and unworthy. Untested, a friendship is not a friendship. Yet it is more than an acquaintanceship. What is it? I lack the word. Perhaps you know.

There must also be a better word than Acquaintance. It's too long, for one. It's also not particularly warm and fuzzy. It denotes a coldness that might be inappropriate to someone you hardly know, but like just based on the firmness of their handshake.