Written Resplendently by John Irvin                           No. 20                                           October 1, 1998

Flaky Farangs in Thailand.

One farang tells me he is in love and wants to get married, but he still wants to run off with every attractive woman he sees. Another one has had a major breakthrough in self-awareness, but he can’t seem to keep his promises to other people. A guy I meet tells me he thinks having sex with children is okay (if the children have consented to do it) and that "in Thailand you can do anything you want, as long as you have money." Another guy, about 45 years old, is obsessed with fireworks. An artistic intellectual loves dogs so much that she lets them get up on the dinner table, and eat off the plates that people are trying to eat from. These are some of the images I have from farangs in Thailand.

In many ways, being in Thailand is like taking a trip back to the 1970s. There is an air of freedom and experimentation on the part of many foreigners who live there. I’m not talking about tourists, now, I mean residents. Many people who have come to Thailand use the experience to try different lifestyles, and be the kind of person they wouldn’t be at home. Conventional standards of behavior are often discarded for the unique, the new, even the forbidden. Some people handle this by denying their background and values completely, as if they had just gotten out of prison, or ten years of law school. Others are just taking the easy path, doing whatever feels good, and not worrying about their responsibility to other people.

I once had someone take me to a party out in the country and then leave me to find my own way home – in the rain. The justification for this was, it was a great party, so I shouldn’t mind staying all night. I have had people borrow things and then give me a hard time when I tried to get them back. I was supposed to relax about it, because this is Thailand. Then there is the farang who has money problems, and who uses people to cover up his own inadequacies. Imagine my surprise when, after filling in for a friend for two weeks of classes, he didn’t have the money to pay me – for almost three months. Yes, I know these things all can happen in the U.S. or Europe, but they seem to happen a lot in Thailand, and there seems to be something "in the air" here that encourages that kind of thing.

To many farangs, Thailand seems like a place where anything goes, where it’s okay to break the rules. Thai people appear to be tolerant, because they are not confrontational, and because they seldom complain about things. Thai people like to smile, so a lot of foreigners assume that anything and everything is okay to do. And with the absence of a really critical culture (things like political correctness seem far away in Thailand, and things like having mistresses and using money to get what you want seem quite common), a lot of foreigners feel free to do whatever they want. In addition, the generally easy climate and low cost of living encourage the attitude that Thailand is an easy place to come and just, you know... hang out. Unfortunately, this attracts a lot of deadbeats as well as positive, interesting people. Instead of giving Thailand our best, sometimes I think we are giving Thailand our worst, when it comes to the farangs who come to live here.

In addition to the irresponsible and the self-indulgent, we also have the crusaders and complainers, those who have a cause that monopolizes their personality, or who have a lot of anger directed at various aspects of society. These people write angry letters to the Chiang Mai Newsletter (the closest thing we have to a regular newspaper), start arguments with their coworkers, and generally attempt to be the voice of conscience, sort of like a temperance league away from home. Sometimes their criticism is on target, but more often than not, it reflects their own uncomfortable adjustment in Thailand, or, in life in general. These people can also create a bad image for farangs in general by antagonizing the Thais with their complaining.

Then there is the person who doesn’t really bother anybody, but whose cover story just doesn’t add up, after I have known them for some time. Granted, people are all different, and not everybody has to "make sense" like a college graduate planning his rise to the top. But some people don’t seem to be consistent within themselves. One day they tell you they have found "the answer" – a relationship, for instance – and the next day they tell you they are moving to Borneo. Or, they say that their background is in counseling, let’s say, but after a while you begin to wonder if they don’t need counseling themselves, and how could they possibly have a degree in that field? After a while I just don’t believe everybody is who they say they are around here.

I realize that everyone has the right to search for their own identity, and I support that as a general practice. It is certainly much better to have people searching than to have them just mindlessly conforming and being in the same rut every day. And I even admit that I came to Thailand largely to have that kind of space for myself, to not have to work so hard for a few years, and to experiment with things like my writing. But I don’t want to be a problem for Thai people, an "eyesore," or anything like that. I also don’t intend to start being a "flake" – not keeping my word, or using other people to get by, just because I am living in a different country. I try, as much as possible, to be a responsible citizen in Thailand.

When living abroad, we meet many different kinds of people, including lots of people we normally wouldn’t associate with at home. This is part of the benefit of travel, because it opens us up to new experiences. But it also means we have to sift through lots of different types of people that we may not be familiar with. People aren’t funneled into the same groups as they would be back home – mostly people in our own profession, for instance, or people who like the same thing we like, such as Cajun - Zydeco dancing, or something like that. Here, one person I meet might be an ex-stockbroker, and the next an ex-convict or a swinder. The only thing we have in common is our interest in Thailand. That probably wouldn’t happen in the U. S. or Europe. But it’s all part of being a farang in Thailand.
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Next Issue: My recent trip to the U.S.A.

© Copyright 1998, John Irvin

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