Welcome to Chiang Mai

Greetings, and welcome to all my friends from Thailand, land of smiles. Why is Thailand known as the land of smiles? Is everybody really so happy in Thailand that they just want to smile all the time? To understand, we must realize that many things, such as our reasoning processes and even our personalities, are not absolute: they are colored by our surroundings, our culture. Okay, don't worry -- mai pen rai -- I won't lecture. If you want to find out about Thailand, just read this newsletter -- and don't be so serious!

Where do I live in Thailand? I live in Chiang Mai, a city in the north of Thailand, in the hill country. Chiang Mai is close to Burma, and closer to Laos and China than Bangkok is. Although it is part of Thailand, it has it's own distinct culture, known as northern Thai culture, including language, cuisine, music, and clothing. Chiang Mai is small enough not to be an oppressive city like Bangkok (more about Bangkok later), but it is still large enough to be a magnet for business and culture. There are several colleges here. The city itself is very charming, with a moat and city walls still standing around the old part of the city. Because of its unique combination of beauty, manageable size, and culture, many westerners choose to live in Chiang Mai. These westerners are called farangs.

What is a farang? In simple terms, a farang is a westerner, usually of European descent, an outsider, a gaigin, a gringo, a... well, you get the idea. Farangs don't have to be caucasian, but many assumptions about farangs are based on appearance and skin color. (Thais don't consider it inappropriate to talk about skin color.) Thais admire farangs for their big noses, their light skin, and the women for their full figures. On the other side of the coin, they think farangs are a little bit strange, moody, self-centered, ill-mannered, and sexually promiscuous. Many Thais also believe that all farangs are rich and that it is okay to overcharge them, or to do other dubious things to get their money.

So what is it like living in a foreign country? Well, imagine being a kid and always wanting to go to Disneyland. You've never been before, and your mind is filled with all kinds of images. Then the real thing happens, and you get to go there. But instead of the wonderful carnival you imagined, it's like you're in a dream where everything moves in slow motion and it feels like you are under water. Every time you try to do something, you get a different result than the one you wanted, and you can't get anybody to understand you. You feel really powerless and frustrated.

But at the same time, there are all kinds of new things around you, things you would never see at home. There are the funny little taxis that look like golf carts (only they are a lot louder), sidewalk food vendors nearly everywhere, incredible markets that stay open way past midnight, the gaudy Thai temples painted gold, with eaves tapering into little points that constantly turn up and reach for the sky (and which are guarded by serpents and dragons), so many things, and yet, it's hard to take it all in at once and say, "I'm in a foreign country." It's just too much.

Sometimes you find strange things, like the fried grasshoppers being sold at a buddha festival (the Thai version of a country fair), yet other times, things may seem quite familiar, such as the sentimental Asian pop music that you hear in restaurants and public places, which sounds so much like a charicature of Asian music that for a minute you might think it was actually created in a Hollywood movie studio. And yet Asian people actually like it (at least I think they do, why else would they play it everywhere?).

You learn to put up with all kinds of inconveniences, such as trying to make an overseas call in the middle of the night, or the public bathrooms that don't have toilet paper and never have any soap (or if they have soap, they don't have paper towels or hand dryers), or the mail from back home that somehow disappears and never reaches your post office. But on the other side of the coin, you'll meet people and have experiences you would never have at home.

When you travel you should be prepared for the following: to get sick, to get lost, to want a cheese omelet in the middle of the night and not be able to find one, to meet people easily, to be lonely anyway, to be with really interesting people, to be with really dull, stupid people, and to be an object of curiosity to the locals. Thai people will ask you a lot of questions, and want to know what you think of Thailand. They will try to show off their English, which can be an adventure for both you and for them. They may ask you to join them for a glass of whiskey, or they may want to have their picture taken with you. And when you get in a taxi to go home, most likely the driver will try and charge you double the going rate. It's all part of the fun.

What is the food like? It's like eating grass, dead things, smelly things, and stuff you are sure you were never meant to eat. At least, that's what it seems like at first. Of course, you can always eat fried rice and noodle soup for every meal, if you don't mind having the same thing all the time. But if you really want to get close to the culture, you must try new things, and eat them again and again until you learn to like them.

A lot of Thai dishes are very, very hot. They are sour and hot and tangy, all at the same time. If you've eaten in Thai restaurants at home, it probably won't prepare you for the food here. But I have acquired a taste for Thai food, and now I eat it whenever I can, which is usually every meal except breakfast. (For breakfast I usually have fruit and yogurt, or a donut, with coffee). One thing I find is that Thai food never gives me gas or heartburn, but farang food often does. That must mean something.

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Okay, looks like we're done for today.. Be on the lookout for my next newsletter.