Part II
By M.L. Morgan
In our last, thrilling episode we left off when the forerunners of modern Nascar racers were still in chariots. Sadly, the greed of the promoters and the arena owners inevitably led to the demise of these races. It wasn’t pretty. The ticket-buying serfs had enough.
Let’s jump ahead a few more years in time. The peasants were again screaming for entertainment. The Crusades were rather boring because ESPN was still in its infancy. The TV reception on those stone satellite dishes was marginal, at best, not to mention TV had yet to be invented. Nothing but a speed-bump to King William, the long-forgotten, illegitimate, often-removed seventh cousin of William the Elder.
He called all his lackeys to convene at his notorious square-table office in Daytona.
When he finally waddled into the room wearing the same shirt he’d worn for years, he called the meeting to order. Before he had a chance to greet his subjects some kid named Jeffus of Evernham was waving his hand wanting to know why his goblet didn’t contain Pepsi, but instead contained Coke. King William let him hold it, but that’s a different episode. Jeffus vowed to get even.
When the decorum was restored, King William spoke.
“What we need to do is establish a new type of scam, er, contest”. Direct quote, trust me.” We’ve tried the deal where the contestants joust but the fans think it sucks.” “ Many fans want to stick the lance in the promoter”. As an aside, I agreed with the fans. Sadly his proposal was the forerunner of professional wrestling. He died in disgrace.
Let’s fast-forward in time a couple centuries. The reigning King William, a remotlely related descendent of the others had a new proposal which struck me incredulous. He wanted to let stock cars compete against one another on a track which was half beach and half roadway. Of course we knew that would never work. I told him so.
The funniest part was King William recruited a bunch of retired (and semi-retired) rum-runners from North Carolina to be the drivers . He some how thought these “good ole boys” would race like crazy even if they weren’t being chased by the revenuers. Amazingly, King William, now referred to as King William I was pretty sharp.
After a few dismal failures King William I ordered the last 10 starters in the race would be painted black and white to resemble police cars, and outfitted them with sirens and flashing lights.NOW the races got exciting. The “good ole boys” drove like they were possessed, particularly in possession of untaxed alcohol. I read an early report from one of the first races and the spectators were literally cheering for the “good ole boys” to outrun the revenuers. They were becoming fanatical about the races. Possibly that’s where the term ‘race fans’ originated.
We’ll have Part III before long. Nascar’s road to 1998's prosperity was not without a few more speed bumps. We’ll tell you about them. Trust me.
Have comments or questions? E-mail: M.L. Morgan
Home |
Editorials | Racing
Links | Ask Uncle Mike
