presented by Pamela Pauley-Perreault
(originally created May 1997)

When I started putting my Mother's Day page together, it was before my daughter's beautiful daughter became so tragically ill. The other "mother" I was going to pay special tribute to was my daughter, SHANNON MARIE PAULEY, a beautiful young woman of almost 21, and mother of Karrisa, presently 9 months old and in a coma. Somehow the only "mother" of my concern right now is Shannon. She certainly has been a delight to me as a daughter, and fulfilled many mother's day lonely spots for me.

My hope and prayer for her is that her beautiful baby daughter comes out of her coma and that she is allowed to continue to enjoy the beauty of motherhood that I have experienced.

FOR YOU, SHANNON,




An update for Shannon on 1/12/98. In readying this page for "Mother's Day" coming up, tears streamed down as I read from last year - Karissa has survived her coma, and her chronology is at here. Shannon, who is now 21, has the joy of her beautiful baby Karissa, and also has the challenges to face that lie ahead in Karissa's recovery. And, again, I cannot express what a delight I feel as a mother to see the maturity and love in Shannon. And, as most mothers, you wonder if your teachings have rubbed off - yes, she won't let her step-son Justen in the house with squirt guns; she is a mirror image of myself about "Dawn cuts grease better than any other detergent," and "Best Foods" is the best there is. Special little things that affirm that I, too, apparently was a good mother and was able to pass this on to her. Again, bless you, Shannon, for being my daughter and being in my life.

When I decided to put up a Mother's Day Page, I felt there were several factors I wanted to consider.

What is a mother? How would you define a mother?

My dictionary lists the normal definitions, but adds several I think should be mentioned:
(1) A female that has borne an offspring;
(2) A female who has adopted a child or otherwise established a maternal relationship with another person;
(3) A pregnant woman;
(4) One's own female parent; (5) A woman having some of the responsibilities of a mother; (6) Qualities attributed to a mother, such as the capacity to love selflessly.

It further adds these items:
To create and care for, instigate and carry forth.
To watch over, nourish and protect.
While researching, I enjoyed these other wonderful pearls:
Mother Hen: A person, especially a woman, who is fussy and overprotective.
Motherhood: The state or condition of being a mother; the feelings or qualities considered characteristics of being a mother.
Mother wit: Innate intelligence; common sense.

The reason I cite the above, is many of us have been "mothered" by someone other than a birth mother, there are many women (and some very special friends of mine) who have been unable to conceive children yet have given nuturing love and warmth to others, in the capacity as would a birth parent. Many parents have adopted children and deserve to be recognized also. And, I also believe there are a great number of men who act in the role of mother (and father) to their children, and the "mothering" roles are usually over and above as they also have their "fathering" roles. (I also believe the reverse is true for the many women who are raising children in the country alone, without the benefit of a male counter-part (constructive or destructive), who have had to assume dual roles, also.)

But this page is meant to take you down memory lane, to remember those who have loved, taught, protected, and with whom you have had a child/maternal relationship.
It is a day for us to forgive our mothers for what we might have "wanted" them to do for us, and to acknowledge they probably did the best they could with what they had to work with, given the times, places, finances, circumstances, etc.
It is a day to remember with smiles and love in our hearts those maternal figures, or mothers, who are no longer with us.
They would want us to smile thinking of them, to remember them at their best, to remember they loved, cared, shared and were there for us.

And for those lucky enough to have mothers still with us, please tell them how much you love them. If you haven't called them in awhile, pick up the telephone. Say hello, I love you, or I'm thinking of you, or I understand. Mothers are human, too, and make mistakes. Some of the finest women in the world have given up their babies when they were young feeling they were doing the best they could for their babies at that time in their lives. If you are searching for a "birth parent" - forgive them and know they loved you, and give an extra hug and smile for your "adopted" mother - as she has raised you and loved you as if she gave natural birth to you. (If you would like to read a letter from an adopted mother to a birth mother, click HERE.) If you were raised in a foster home, pick up the telephone and give your foster mother a mother's day hello and smile over the wires (or the net if they're online).

And, as a mother, I know those calls and smiles are really special. One of the most important to me was when my daughter was 16 and had chosen to live with her dad because she didn't like my rules and restrictions (although she disputes this as being the reason). I lived in the Seattle area, it was dreary, it was a weekend, I was alone, and at 8:00 a.m. was a sparkly voice wishing me happy Mother's Day (normally at that point in time she only called when she wanted money or rides.) That is why I encourage all of you to call, to wish those who have cared for you, a happy Mother's Day. I know what an empty gap in one's life can be filled.

Originally I was going to use a rainbow background for my Mother's Day Tribute page, as rainbows signify the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow where hope springs eternal (what frequently mothers led us to believe as we were growing up). Today's pot of gold for those we honor on Mother's Day is a TELEPHONE CALL. If you are lucky enough to have a mother(or special person you wish to honor on this day) who is alive to receive the message, please call and say you care. That may be a "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" for them. Let hope spring eternal for them again.
The flowers that adorn this page are in memory of my mother who passed away in 1982, Emily Bethel Pugh Sparrow, whose friends called her "Betty."
She always had beautiful flower arrangements on our dining room table. She grew vegetables and flowers in our backyard, and nurtured her flowers with loving care.
As an adult, one of the first things I did in my first home was to plant a rose garden. I live in an apartment now, but whenever I drive down a street, I "take time to smell the roses," and I gaze in admiration.
And my mother's favorite words to me in the last several years of her life were from a wonderful song, "I never promised you a rose garden."
Sometimes I have regrets that as an adult I chose to move several states away from my parents' home as I was an only child and now, being a parent, if you have read many of my poems, you will understand why I know the importance of a telephone call to say I care.
My mother and I didn't always get along, but I loved her dearly. In essence, she only wanted what she thought was best for me. And many times, much as I hated to admit it (particularly as a teenager), she was right!
She never knew the web, worked many years as an elementary school secretary, was a Life Master at Bridge, and a very talented artist. Mom, this one's for you!

Another Mother's Day I will also never forget involved my mother-in-law, Ellen Marie Fleck Pauley, who lived with me for four years immediately prior to her death. She raised 11 children in West Virginia, which she referred to as "God's Country." We lived in the Seattle area, my former husband was one of her five sons who all lived within several miles, also. Would you believe, not one of her sons or daughters called her to wish her Happy Mother's Day one year. She was heart-broken. I loved her dearly and cherish my memories of the time we spent together. Thank you Marie.

Another very special person in my life is my present mother-in-law, Diane Steinke Perreault. I met Diane on her birthday, which happened to fall on Mother's Day, three years ago. It was a day of great anticipation for me as my husband and I have a 20 year age difference, he being the younger. How would his parents accept me? When we first met, her radiant smile and composure, plus her words of welcome, erased all fears I may have had. We share a very special relationship/friendship. She is a lady of many qualities and talents and was even a foster parent for many years. Diane is currently creating a web-site in Geocities, and if you would like the link, please e-mail me. She is studying to become a certified herbologist and has probably worked with every craft imaginable. This page is also for Diane, my special friend and mother-in-law.

TO ALL OF THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD
ON MOTHER'S DAY
THIS ONE IS MY TRIBUTE TO YOU

Above definitions from Webster's Illustrated Encyclopedic Dictionary

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