Welcome to Priesty´s Chelsea FC Refuge - In memory of Matthew Harding

Take The Test
Sir,

A storm in a teacup ? Handbags at 20 paces ? Total loss of reality more like ! What am I on about ? The small tempest that has greeted my latest oasis of sanity on your otherwise deranged website, that's what.

Well, at risk of pouring petrol on an already tense situation, I would like to ask the following questions. If you answer them honestly then you will no doubt agree with me 100%. If at the end of this assessment you still find yourself in disagreement, then I would suggest you stand in the corner of your room with the bin on your head, as you are beyond help, medical or otherwise.

So remember, answer honestly and try to relax.

1. Gordon Judas Durie is :
  1. the heroic sidekick of King Kerry
  2. an halfpint, no nark little turncoat, judas pigfucker
  3. a model professional

2. Poyet is :

  1. a man who will earn the respect of fans wherever he plays
  2. a two bob, no nark, turncoat judas, tottenham scumsucking muppet
  3. a model professional

3. Dennis Wise is:

  1. a man who could start a fight in an empty house
  2. a Chelsea legend who will always be remembered as a leader of men, who we owe total respect
  3. a model professional

4. Ken Bates is:

  1. a megalomaniac
  2. a Chelsea legend who will always be remembered as a leader of men, who we owe total respect
  3. a model professional

5) Santa Claus:

  1. knows if you've been good or bad so you better be good for goodness sake
  2. is a ficticious character who kids stop believing in once they reach the age of 3
  3. is a model professional

6) Lee Bowyer is:

  1. scum
  2. an allegedly r*c**t motherfucker
  3. a model professional

Now for the answers.......

Mostly A's:

You're on heavy medication, or if you are not then you should be. You probably find it hard to talk to members of the opposite sex, have a beard/facial hair, a selection of snazzy tanktops and wear humourous ties featuring cartoon characters. Please leave this website immediately as we don't want your sort round here.

Mostly B's

You are a rare, sensitive and articulate individual. You are a seasoned traveller, irresistable to the opposite sex and quite brilliant at anything you turn your hand to. A few more people like you running the government and the country would not be in the state it is today. Top of the class.

Mostly C's

You want to get out more. You probably spend a long time on your own in front of your bedroom mirror re-enacting that scene from Taxi driver. Everybody hates you, and rightly so.

End of debate - but hey, don't just take my word for it, have a look at Keith Todd's entry in Priesty's visitors book for an independent and articulate response to my work.

You see my point ?

Dr Les.

Anyone fancy a game of conkers ?

Priesty.


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