Do you really hate someone in football ? Well now's your chance to get even. Suggest a villain, including your reasons for doing so, and I'll very likely immortalise your request on this page. A word of warning, though: it's no good just sending me an email with a name on it, as I'll just ignore it. Put a bit of effort into it and give some good (and hopefully funny) reasons, and I'll be more inclined to add your villain to the growing list of shame. Click here if your browser is configured to send email, or send an email to priesty@chelsea-fc.org.uk with your suggestion.

VILLAIN #1

Number 1: DAVID ELLERAY "Referee", 1994 FA Cup Final. Gave TWO penalties. "That's a penalty - oh dear did I forget to look ? Never mind, it's only the bloody Cup Final" No, I haven't forgiven. Or forgotten. Yes, I AM bitter. No, it's not a very christian attitude. You're right, I don't give a monkey's.

VILLAIN #2

Number 2: DEAN "FINBAR" SAUNDERS Accidentally committed a deliberate, terrible foul on Paul Elliott, who never played again. Got away with it in court. Sneaked off to Turkey. Sneaked back to join Forest. Came to the Bridge. Kicked everybody who came near. Mouthed off to the crowd when Forest scored. The slimy midget.

VILLAIN #3

Number 3: GORDON "JUKE BOX JUDAS" DURIE "I'll always love Chelsea - except if someone comes in with an offer.." Judas said he loved Chelsea. To prove it he pissed off to Spurs for a few quid. Slagged Chelsea off to anyone who'd listen (his mum). Buggered off back to Glasgow because he was shit. No one's heard of him since. Good riddance. Thanks for the suggestion to C.Smith and some bloke with a Compuserve e-mail account who didn't leave his name.

VILLAIN #4

Number 4: KENNETH DALGLISH "Hoodena heedana fooking baistard oan the pitch an' Ah'm no pooting op wi' it" "Hey Boss - what the fook are ye talkin aboot ?" The most miserable man in football. Nobody understands a fucking word he says. Just as well. Always moaning that Newcastle were unlucky. They were - they had that miserable git as a manager. Cheers to the irrepressible Billy the Bridge for that one.

VILLAIN #5

Number 5: Roy "The Butcher" Keane "Ough ough ough ough ough fecking ough" "Please, Roy, let go of me knackers" The man with the most primitive brain in football. Thinks he's a hard man because he kicks footballers. My Mum reckons she could beat him in a straight fight. Nobody likes him (except a few halfwits). Sorry, that was out of order, well over the top. Like the majority of his tackles. The twat. Thanks to Snorri Valsson from Iceland for the nomination, plus about 50 other people with the same sentiment.

VILLAIN #6

Number 6: ROBBIE FOWLER Called Graeme Le Saux a "fucking queer" and offered him his cheesy arse in front of 35,000 people. Said "Fuck your family" when told by Le Saux that it was them who'd be upset by it. Cried in public when it was suggested he took drugs, said it hurt his family. Fuck his family. "Look - I've changed, honest !" Loudmouthed Homosexualist Hypocritical Moron I suggested this one myself, on the grounds that everyone else will sooner or later :-)

VILLAIN #7

Number 6: YOUR CHOICE Come on, let's be having you. "Your worst villain here" Mean Nasty Scurillous Stuff

DISCLAIMER:

This page is a light-hearted look at some of the villains who have upset me or Chelsea in the past. No insult is intended, unless you're Elleray, Saunders, Keane or Fowler, in which case you can piss off.

1999-2000 season: hits.