Surgery Notes

Sir, I apologise for my silence recently, but I have been spreading the word to our Vietnamese, Malay and Thai brothers. In the last two weeks there has been a lot of water under the bridge, some of it good, some bad and some of it downright ugly. We all hate Leeds Good to see those northern scum taking defeat so gracefully, with the exception of Mills, little Jonathan, Keane, O'Leary etc. It was also nice to see the sporting reaction of the Leeds crowd as Le Saux was stretchered from the field following an off the ball assault by little Jonathan. I have a Swedish pal who I met in Shanghai. He is one of those world travellers and has been everywhere. When quizzing him about his travels I asked what was the scariest place he had ever visited. Northern Pakistan ? No. The docks in Jakarta ? No. Columbia ? No. His answer - Leeds ! Enough said. Fuck off Ferguson I had the great privilege of watching the Man Utd match live (ie on TV) in a bar in Na Na (Bangkok). The place was packed with Thai women and sleazy ex-pats (many with northern accents). At the beginning I was the only Chelsea in the gaff. After buying most of the locals a drink, however, I soon rustled up a sizeable posse and entertained them with some of the most vivid and over the top celebrations seen since the King's 72nd birthday. There was much TV kissing, bad singing, even worse victory dancing and baiting of the northern monkeys. Life can be so fucking sweet you can taste it. What's it like to stab your wife? I have always hated Mark Wright. This started during his Derby days and intensified when he moved to Liverpool. I had not heard of him for some time, and guessed that he must have died or was runnning a pub in some hellhole (Derby). But no, he is actually still in football ! Well he was still in football until being forced to resign by Oxford Utd for racially abusing the ref. He was the fucking manager ! Nice to see he is doing his bit in keeping racism in football. Remember Oxford Utd signed and the dumped the famous Eddie Newton. What goes around comes around.. Minge of the Month There are some strong competitors for November's award. Here is my selection: Little Jonathan Woodgate - violence is not the answer Danny Mills - Charlton reject and slap head. Le Saux's gonna get yer. Mark Wright - whats it like to stab your wife ? Sepp Blatter - he talks to God Andy Cole - you're fucking rubbish, you silly little bitch Paulo Di Canio - fair play award ? You're having a laugh aren't you ? The Future's Bright My sense of incredible optimism is even stronger than before. Big things are going to happen in the coming year. I predict a Frank Lampard league goal and a home win. I would just like to congratulate William Gallas on the goal line clearances against Leeds (2) and Man Utd - Je voudrais dire Bravo William tu es vraiment le plus athletique, encoulez un poulet ! You see my point ? Dr Les. A very succinct report, Les, but I feel I should correct a few inconsistencies before you get us both sued to fuck. I'm pretty sure that it was Mark Dennis who stabbed his wife, not Mark Wright, although I'm not certain about this. If anyone out there can remember for sure I would love to hear from you , as we wouldn't want to imply that Mr. Wright is a wife-stabber if isn't true, would we ? Do let me know so that I can apologise to the racist bastard. While we're at it I'm almost certain that it was young Alan Smith who took our Graeme out in the Leeds match. Still, this is surely nit-picking - if it hadn't have been Smith it would almost certainly have been one of the other fair-minded Leeds players. Priesty.

© 2001 Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.