Dr Les - The Mind Of A Muppet

Surgery Notes - 28th February 2008

Sir,

Apologies for not contacting you sooner, but it's taken a while to get over the horror of being done by Tottenham. I would also like to apologise for my behaviour in and around Orchard Towers (aka The Four Floors), Singapore City, as by the end of the match I was in a highly emotional state.

I extend this apology to neither the twat playing pool in The Football Pub, nor the idiot who slept through the whole match. This bitch wakes up at the final whistle and says “at least Chelsea didn’t win”. How do you react to that ? Well the normal sane voice of reason (i.e. me) would simply ask “why would you say that?”. The reaction of the bar staff and other patrons was mixed, ranging from “its only a game”, “he didn’t mean nothing” “calm down” and my favourite, “get that cunt out of here”.

However my usual good mood was restored on reading the post-match analysis from the gutter press. If they are to be believed, John Terry nutted Ten Cate, Chelsea are about to implode, and the senior players are about to mutiny ! I remember similar reaction when the last manager left and what happened ? Precisely fuck all. It was business as usual.

Of course I disagree with Priesty’s match analsysis, so why did we lose to Tottenham? I put it down to 2 things:

The Africans coming back from Ghana to freezing London – they will take a couple of games to get back the love.

Starting with Anelka and Didier. I would have left Anelka on the bench and started with Joe Cole. On 69 minutes I have swapped Anelka for Didier and Ballack for Lamps.

I was also interested to read Robert Green’s musings along the lines that “Chelsea won’t be looking forward to coming to Upton Park”. Why’s that Robby ? After all, we have the best away record in the league, we are back to full strength, and most importantly of all West Ham are a bunch of cunts. I am looking forward to Upton Park.
You see my point ?
Les.

I do, Les, apart from your woeful starting lineup and substitution tactics. I will leave it to the readers to judge how much you know about football - fuck nothing would come high on my list.
Priesty.

**Surgery Notes - 28th February 2008**
Sir, Apologies for not contacting you sooner, but it's taken a while to get over the horror of being done by Tottenham. I would also like to apologise for my behaviour in and around Orchard Towers (aka The Four Floors), Singapore City, as by the end of the match I was in a highly emotional state. I extend this apology to neither the twat playing pool in The Football Pub, nor the idiot who slept through the whole match. This bitch wakes up at the final whistle and says “at least Chelsea didn’t win”. How do you react to that ? Well the normal sane voice of reason (i.e. me) would simply ask “why would you say that?”. The reaction of the bar staff and other patrons was mixed, ranging from “its only a game”, “he didn’t mean nothing” “calm down” and my favourite, “get that cunt out of here”. However my usual good mood was restored on reading the post-match analysis from the gutter press. If they are to be believed, John Terry nutted Ten Cate, Chelsea are about to implode, and the senior players are about to mutiny ! I remember similar reaction when the last manager left and what happened ? Precisely fuck all. It was business as usual. Of course I disagree with Priesty’s match analsysis, so why did we lose to Tottenham? I put it down to 2 things: The Africans coming back from Ghana to freezing London – they will take a couple of games to get back the love. Starting with Anelka and Didier. I would have left Anelka on the bench and started with Joe Cole. On 69 minutes I have swapped Anelka for Didier and Ballack for Lamps. I was also interested to read Robert Green’s musings along the lines that “Chelsea won’t be looking forward to coming to Upton Park”. Why’s that Robby ? After all, we have the best away record in the league, we are back to full strength, and most importantly of all West Ham are a bunch of cunts. I am looking forward to Upton Park. You see my point ? Les. I do, Les, apart from your woeful starting lineup and substitution tactics. I will leave it to the readers to judge how much you know about football - fuck nothing would come high on my list. Priesty.

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