Welcome to my Bruce McCulloch quotes page! I hope you enjoy my favorite quotes by Bruce McCulloch!
- "I'm nutty bunny number one. I like to frolic in the sun."
- "I wanted my check three hours ago! And what are you laughing at?"
- "You're not listening!!!!"
- "Just because I don't vote. Just because I don't gloat. Just 'cause I have no fur coat, like Ronny Hawkins. Doesn't mean I'm not happy."
- "Just because i don't live in a placial home. Just because I don't own a car with a car phone. Just because I don't have bars of gold under my fouton. Doesn't mean I'm not happy."
- "And on your birthday only your mother calls. She says hap, happy, happy birthday pumpkin, I won't talk long, I bet there's someone in your bed."
- "She's a. She's a. She's a. She's a. She's a. She's a. She's a. She's a. Heroin pig!"
- "Hey you're not a plate of croissants."
- "I broke my hand on a pineapple, didn't even care."
- "Everybody's got a job to do. Everybody's got to move and grove."
- "Mr bus driver!"
- "Can you get worms from arresting a guy?"
- "I loved you! I can get anyone you know! I'm beautiful!!"
- "What are you laughing at moon?"
- "Life is sad, when you wear sweatpants and a raincoat."
- "Don't look at me!"
- "Yeah, soak it up, you ugly sponge."
- "Jazz schmazz."
- "I invented a drug to give worms to your ex-girlfriends."
- "I know it's hard when you're fat and alone."
- "Uh, ya lost me."
- "The only reason I ever licked you baby was the salt."
- "Our love is like licking the ass of a dead squirrel that's laying bloated in the sun, but also...there's a negative side?"
- "It's clear to me now, our love is like Santa Claus. The only ones who will believe in it are small children who don't understand how the world really works."
- "Our love is like having sex with a dwarf when you're drunk. Oh it's great at the time, but when you think about it the next day at work, you feel shame and guilt, and an array of sadness."
- "Our love...and I mean this in a nice way...is like taking KLassie to the dessert, removing her teeth with a hunting knife; and shooting her in the head with a gun that you and she made together."
- "Is there a fairy? A drunk dad fairy...that tip-toes in, takes the TV changer out of his hand, puts a blanket around his shoulders, lifts his head off his chest, so his neck won't be sore tomorrow when the luiquor leaves him for a time? Is there a drunk dad fairy? That pays for the Chinese food?!!"
- "'Fabio's on board, he's eating a small package of salted peanuts...I wish he would eat me!'...and those were the guys. It is a Fabio world, but you know what? It's also a Brucio world."
- "Mix, mix, stir, stir. I married young it's all a blur."
- "Mix, mix, stir, stir. Him, him, her, her."
- "I wish I had tits like that."
- "Well, I'll check your horoscope and find a day when I can call you."
- "Great! I had to pick today to go bald! I knew it would happen."
- "Don't you ever laugh at my car! Not a word."
- "Life's a pretty sweet fruit."
- "No rest for the wicked."
- "I eat. I do. I pick. I nimble. Under stress I have a little food."
- "WOULD YOU GET OUT!? I DON'T HAVE ANY STRAWS!"
- "COME BACK THEN! IF YOU'RE SO BIG! IF YOU'RE SO BIG!"
- "Well, Fran, have you made him into a fag yet?"
more BRUCE McCULLOCH quotes
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