It is a sin to raise children lonely and afraid in the
place that they call home. It is mental and emotional
cruelity to raise your children without giving them the
love, support and attention necessary for building a strong
foundation they can stand on. I believe the way you see
yourself as a young child sets a pattern for many years to
follow. It is a programed way of thinking and a cycle that
takes a very strong willed person to change. Unless you
have been there, as a child, I dont believe it possible to
completely understand what a major impact things have on a
child for the rest of their life. I don't know who came up
with the saying "Children are to be seen and not heard" and
"Children are to speak only when spoken to" but I couldn't
disgree with them more. Children are people to! When
parents instill a fear in children of speaking up for
themselves,
voicing their opinions, or just talking in general it
causes future problems in school, employment, relationships
and every other aspect of life. It is so hard to get over.
I have always encouraged my children to talk to me about
the good and bad things going on in their life. It has been
hard at times but I never punished or judged them for
coming to me with the truth about things they had said or
done wrong. I always kept our line of communication opened
when they were young so they would feel they could talk to
me as teenagers and young adults. It worked! Remember
that no matter how unimportant or how little sense
something a child says seems to you, it is how they feel.
If you hear things like "Nobody loves me", "I wish I was
never born", and "You never listen to me"...you better
listen
to them. There is no right or wrong when it comes to
feelings. They are there for a reason. If a child cannot
talk to their parents, they are going to turn to someone or
something. The wrong crowd, bad relationships,running
away, drugs and even attempting suicide. Be a parent that
your child can turn to for support in times of troubles.
Help them to see that there are options to solving
problems. When you are young a problem looks so big and
everything seems to be either life or death with no in
between. It is our responsibility as parents to help our
children to grow and develop mentally, emotionally and
spiritually so
they can face the world with balance. If they grow up feeling like
nobody special than they tend to believe it. It is a major
handicap going out into the world feeling that way. You
marry young to get out on your own. Fall for the first
person that says they love you or show you a little
attention. Settle for the first job you can find because
you dont realize your own potentional. College never
enters your mind because you assume it is for rich kids and
smart people. You put up with physical and mentally
abusive
relationships partly because you dont see any options and
partly because it is all you have ever known. It takes a
strong willed person to break free from a programed way of
life. It is a way of life that takes strength to escape.
If you have never had that inner-strength it is hard to
find when you need it most. Remember, if you
have children then
stop, look and listen. There are always signs of problems
at a early age in their lives. For every problem, there is
a reason. For every reason there is a solution. If you
have children, take time to love them.
Eileen Breedlove
I read this poem and there is sure a lesson in it. I wish I knew the author of such a meaningful work of art.
The Monster
On Monday, Billy didn't have his homework And when the teacher asked him why
He said, "Because a monster ripped it up, After I told him a lie."
"You know monsters don't exist,
And if you don't turn in your homework
No recess you will get
On Tuesday, Billy had a stomachache
And when the teacher asked him why
He said, "A monster took away my dinner,
even my cherry pie."
"Billy, I've told you once before,
Monsters are not real.
You'll have to wait till lunchtime
Before you get a meal."
On Wednesday, Billy had a bandage,
Which covered his right eye.
When the teacher asked him how it happened,
This was his reply:
"A monster was running after me
When I ran into the door:"
"Billy please," the teacher said,
"I don't want to hear any more."
On Thursday, Billy refused to sit down,
And when the teacher asked him why,
Billy said, "A monster whipped my bottom,
Because I started to cry,"
"Billy, said the teacher, "
This is getting out of hand,
And if you continue with these stories,
In the corner you will stand."
On Friday, Billy didn't come to school,
And when the teacher found out why,
She said a little prayer to God
In hopes Billy would survive.
For a monster had beaten Billy
and threatened him with a knife.
Now Billy lay in a hospital bed,
Fighting for his life.
So teachers please remember,
That monsters are for real.
Listen closely to kids stories,
A wounded heart you may heal.
---- Unknown -----
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Our Family Got A Divorce
Sexual Abuse
Domestic Violence
Self-Esteem
Feelings
For My Family And Friends
Attempted Suicide