Some of my favorite humorous quotes!


More Quotes

"Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time
we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing?
Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?"

"Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a
"built"?"

"Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and
when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you
get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?"

"All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder
they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect
the horses to do, anyway?"

"Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in
front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too?
Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? 'Whew, I
thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for
coffee and a danish!' "

Jerry Seinfeld




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