This is the bleedin' Rat Palace...
The bleedin' first part of the chuffin' Rat Palace (the square bit on the naffin' bottom) were built for us by us human mate in January 1998 when just Max and Alfie lived in it, right? An extension were added in April 1998 after Eric came, made out of an 'amster cage. It 'ad us Wodent Wheel in it, which were great because we'd never been able ter use it before. When George joined us, right, our 'uman 'ad ter make it even bigger, right, so she added the extension on the top ter house the Wodent Wheel and the bleedin' new sleepin' quarters.
The bleedin' frame is made from free quarter-inch by one inch untreated pine. It were sprayed wiv non-toxic paint designed for children's toys. That funky pink colour were chosen because we live near the Elephant and Castle Shoppin' Centre in London and it's pink too.
In the bloomin' bottom of the square part is an 'eavy-duty seed tray from the local DIY shop and the wooden frame were built ter fit round it. The tray slides out from the bottom of the frame for tidyin'. Aviary wire were stapled all round the inside of the frame and a catch were added ter hold the bleedin' two sections firmly togevver. There's a door in the bleedin' front of bowf sections so that we can cop in and out and us human can put food in, and there are free shelves. The bleedin' lower two shelves are made from coated gauze stapled ter spare blocks of wood and the fird shelf came out of the old 'amster cage and fitted perfectly across the top, like.
In the naffin' bottom of the tray is Bio-Catolet which us human likes because we can't kick it out all over the bleedin' floor, right? I'll get out me spoons. It's also better for us healf than sawdust or wood shavings, which can cause respiratory problems in ratties like us, and it don't smell too much. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? It's also environmentally-mately because it's made from compressed recycled paper. Yer can buy Bio-Catolet from Sainsbury's and Asda in the UK or ask yor local pet shop ter get it if they don't stock it already, like.
As for the accessories, right, two plastic flowerpots and a redundant T-shirt make right comfortable beds for us all. We also 'ave a Rodarope and free ladders, one from the hamster cage and the bleedin' uvver two made from off-cuts of wood and wire. We 'ave two food bowls - a ceramic one for dry food and the bleedin' plastic one 'angin' on the side of the cage for fresh titbits like carrots and grapes. In the bottom is a piece of plastic plumbin' pipe and a large toilet roll tube. We also 'ave a wooden parrot toy for chewin' but we prefer us human's furniture for wearin' dahn us teef! We 'ave a gravity water bottle, which Eric is modellin' below, right, and anuvver flowerpot where us human 'ides us dog biscuits sometimes.
Finally, we 'ave a Wodent Wheel which George is particularly fond of. Eric 'as a go on it sometimes too, right, but Max and Alfie just like ter 'ide food and sleep in there.
All in all, right, we fink the Rat Palace is brill and us human is right clever ter have made it for us and we luv 'er right much! Oi!
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