The Bloomin' Rat Palace

George, aged c.4 weeks.

Welcome ter the cyberhome of George, right, and Aubrey! Struth!

If yer've been 'ere before, welcome back! Oi! If yer know wotcher 'avin a butcher's for, right, click on one of these: To cop back ter this page from any of the uvvers, just click on this wee rat, right, which yer'll find at the bottom of the page:

If yer 'aven't visited us before and are wonderin' wot on Earff all this stuff is about, den read on...! Blimey!




The number of visitors ter this, the Cockney version of the Rat Palace, since the bloomin' beginnin' of February 1999 is:

*** Sad news - Eric 'airdresser Rat were visited by The Deaff of Rats on Friday 3 March, his 25-monff birffday. RIP, right, Eric, old son :-( ***


'Allo! Oi!

Yes, right, it does say Rat Palace up there. If yor immediate reaction were 'Urgh! Honest guv!' wen yer read that, we 'ope that by 'ave a lookin' at the chuffin' wonderful pictures of us and us muckers in the Rat Palace Photo Gallery, right, we might change yor mind.

We rats make perfect pets. We're tidy, intelligent (so clever, in fact, that we've built this website all by ourselves), right, sociable, muckerly wee creatures 'oo don't take up too much space, right, eat virtually anyfink and will genuinely luv yer. If we're preachin' ter the bleedin' converted, we 'ope yer enjoy the photos and the rest of us website. We could tell you lot about 'ow Mae West to look after us rats, but us human muckers, Antonia and Angie, right, have done a much better Uncle Bob of it than we could ever do in their pet rat information leaflet.

And this is the real Rat Palace where we live, right, or at least it's part of it. It's a detached, purpose-built, right, four-storey, split-level mansion wiv separate sleepin' quarters and an exercise area. Click on the picture ter find out 'ow us human mate built it for us! Struth!

This is the Rat Palace before the extension was added and wivout us in it.


We luv us house but we also like ter explore the chuffin' neighbourhood of us 'uman's livin' room where we can go climbin' up the bloomin' bookshelves, run along the bleedin' mantlepiece, make nests under the sofa and eat 'er furniture. We particularly like 'idin' inside the bloomin' cushion covers and fallin' off of the chuffin' kit dryin' rack. We also like visitin' the four Mongolian reed voles, the Gobi Girls, right, 'oo live up the apples and pears. They're weird but right foxy! Struth!

Now for some fun! Struth! Rats 'ave a great sense of 'umour and there are some fab fings that we right like so come and spot A Few of Us Favourite Finks. We also like footie, right, and this year we 'ave a fantasy footie team called Lokomotiv Gobi, innit. Our team for last season, Rat Palace bloomin' Wednesday, came 7th out of a league of 37, so we were darn pretty chuffed, like!

Yer can read about the steamy romance of Max and 'is ladychina in the boddice-rippin' pot-boiler The Great Romance of Sir Maximillian and Lady Effelyn. Phew, wot a scorcher! Blimey!

Life in the Rat Palace ain't all a bed of roses, though. Sometimes we 'ave ter Nanny Goat Race tragedy and despair wen one of us chinas dies and leaves us. Yer can read a sad story of some bloke 'oo were gonna come ter The chuffin' Rat Palace but met wiv a terrible accident in The chuffin' Tragic Tale of Blackstaff Errol, or The Rat 'oo Were Just Too Curious. But we take comfort in the knowledge that The Deaff of Rats saw 'im to an 'appy place.

We 'ope yer like us site. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. We 'ave some links, webrings and listings if yer want ter explore the bleedin' ratty world furvver. Please come hammer and tack soon and visit us, right, and don't forget ter sign us guestbook! Blimey!

Luv and squeaks,
George and Aubrey
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. We 'ave E-mail too! Right!




Pride of Petsburgh award


Literary Rats Award