"I think our thesis sucks!"
-Joanna 10/19/97 10:00am

"Speaking of chem, what the hell is wrong with you?"
-Josh, 9/18/97 1:43pm

"She didn't change anything since last year."
"No, I changed my hair."
Josh, My Math Teacher, 10/1/97

"You inherited 2 X's making you female."
"Oh, is that what I am?"
"Yes, it's not your fault, we love you anyway."
("Are you writing this down, Marisa?")
"What, did I just answer the question to a quiz?"
-Comparative Religions Teacher, Beth, CRT, (Joanna), CRT 10/6/97 1:00pm

"They know where to go, where the tissues are!"
-My Math Teacher, 10/6/97, 1:35pm

"It's been one of those days."
"It's been one of those years! Since Sept Third, baby!"
-Me and Joanna, 10/7/97 10:05am

"So they distilled their grain, turned it into whiskey, and sold it to people who needed grain?"
Molly, 10/14/97, 9:55pm

"Sophosticated country bumpkins, now that's a technical term."
-Melissa, 10/17/97, 9:45am

"It hurts my mind's eye."
"My mind's eye needs glasses."
"Are you mentally near-sighted or far-sighted?"
"I have astigmatism of the mind."
-Me, Craig, Me, Craig 10/19/97 10:39pm

"What happened to the Continental dollars?"
"They gave them all to New Jersey."
-Ajay, Ben 10/27/97

"I just realized something. You change one letter in the word 'love' and you get 'live'."
-Anne, 11/12/97, 9:00 am
Okay, fine! I KNOW this quote is mushy, and not funny. I am PERFECTLY aware of that. But can't I be mushy every once in a while? Huh? What about my needs? It's always, "Mar, make me laugh! I want you to amuse me!". Well, to that I say, NO! I want you all to go "Awww". Let me HEAR IT!!!

"I think cheating shows we're a good society because it shows we all can work together."
-Phil, 11/12/97, 10:25am

"It's in the curriculum! Ask God and he'll tell you!"
-My Math Teacher, 11/12/97, 2:00pm

"You're a pain but I can't see through you!"
-My Math Teacher (quoting her mother), 11/7/97, 2:17pm

"Where's all that heat coming from?"
"It's coming from the heater!"
-Loren, Rebecca, 12/14/97, 2:15pm

"I have bad news and good news."
"Is the bad news that there's no good news?"
-My Bio Teacher, Phil, 12/17/97, 11:58am

"They do take something factual and..."
"They screw it up!"
-My Bio Teacher, Rayme, 12/20/97 1:10 pm

"You wanna know what I have to do tonight? I have to read 200 pages in The Jungle then draw a fucking picture of a windmill!"
-Phil, 11/25/97, 2:12 pm

"If I was going to write about Ardsley, I wouldn't say everything about Ajay's life. I'd say, 'Here's an Ajay story, here's a Ben story, here's a Serge story..."
"Why bother?"
-Josh, My English Teacher, 12/10/97

"Rayme, don't you flirt with everybody?"
"I can't help it."
-Matt, Rayme, 12/17/97 1:00 pm

"I didn't bite you, I tried to though!"
-Matt Sc. 12/19/97 10:25

"Mom never liked any of my friends!"
"You never had any!"
-Corinne, Mom, 12/25/97 9:40 AM

"[Insane Laughter] Marriage is a commitment to an institution!"
-Craig, 1/1/98

"We really shouldn't treat animals like slaves."
"Yeah, but we eat cows...Go to Burger King and what do you think you're getting...not a slave, I'll tell you that."
-Molly, Alex 1/5/98 10:17 AM

"What determines sex...and don't ask Ajay."
-My Bio Teacher 1/7/98 1:15 pm

"Everything we've done for this entire year has come to nothing."
-Phil 1/7/98 2:00 pm

"How come this class gets smaller and smaller each day."
"Oh! Because less and less people come!"
"A scientist!"
-My Bio Teacher, Jon, My Bio Teacher, 1/9/98 12:45

"Just because you don't like potatoes you can't blame the latka."
-Mar, 1/12/98, 1:20

"You can have sex if you want. You can have sex every day if you want."
This, even I admit, is taken way out of context
-My Health Teacher, 1/13/98, 11:00

"Hey Joanna, get this!" [Matt Mouths 'Vaccuum']
"Are you saying vaccuum?"
-Sergi, Joanna 1/16/98 10:40 am

"The Bible held the human genome all along."
-Phil 1/16/98 1:10

"America isn't a religion."
"No kidding, neither is Mecca."
-Matt, Beth 1/16/98 1:00

"Ones purpose in life I think is to hit on gay men and sit in beer."
-Corinne 1/18/97 11:50pm

"I told the professer that six minus four was three. Then I argued with him about it. And in my philosophy class my prof. said penis instead of fetus. College rules!"
-Corinne 1/18/97 11:51

"I know the seven dwarves, Lumpy, Bumpy, Dummy, and Friday."
-Dave 1/19/98 5:00

"This is our electrophoresis gel slab."
[She holds up poster board to represent the gel slab]
"Modern science!"
-My Bio Teacher, Rayme 1/20/98 12:00pm

"WKK all the way!"
"What's WKK....OH!"
"I see you're coming with me."
-Rayme, Ajay, Rayme 1/26/98 10:30 am

"If God could say 'Let There Be Light" He could also say 'Let There Be Rock Layers'."
-Rayme 1/26/98 12:40 pm

"Revlon bottled pheremones. It was clear...It was odorless...and I think it was water."
-My Bio Teacher 1/30/98 1:35 pm
"If you have radical two dollars and X approaches zero, what happens? Nothing."
-My Math Teacher, 2/3/98, 2:12 pm

"Oh! These are whorehouses."
"Yeah, you need to look at the legend."
"What's that big..."
"That's Central Park."
"Oh! I thought it was just one big..."
"Like a mall."
-Molly, My History Teacher, Matt, My History Teacher, Rayme, My History Teacher, 2/4/98, 10:05 am
This is not censored, I just didn't hear everything

"Larry Flynt is opening a store in Cincinatti. I want to go there."
"That can be your Hajj."
Mike, My Comparative Religions Teacher, 2/4/98, 12:55 pm

"You...you first."
"What, me?"
"I-"
"Baaa, baa--Give her a chance."
"I didn't have anything to say."
-My Comparative Religions Teacher, Joanna, Beth, CRT, Joanna, 2/4/98, 1:17 pm

"You want to impress this girl, but you're this creep from Ardsley that's never been beyond Dunkin' Donuts."
-My French Teacher, 2/6/98, 10:15

"You say Turkey Lurkey, and I say Ducky Lucky."
-Ajay, 2/6/98, 1:24 pm

"What do you know about Protists?"
"They're annoying."
"Not only protists are annoying."
-My Bio teacher, Ajay, MBT, 2/9/98, 12:05 pm

"I wish the doughboy would ask me out."
-Rayme 2/9/98, 1:17pm

"Let's all just blame everything on Elle McPhearson."
-Rayme, 2/11/98, 7:55 am

"Everybody is so oblivious today."
"I didn't notice."
-Rayme, Mar, 2/11/98, 8:45 am
"Can't you see I'm trying to remain incognito!"
-Nolan, 2/13/98, 10:30

"How can you have a take-home-testitis?"
Alex, 2/23/98, 9:35

"The Mounties always get their man..."
"But how often do you think the Canadian police actually have to hunt down a man?"
"But when they do, they have to go through all that wilderness."
"That's why they have horses."
"Oh! I get it! Mounties!"
-Mar, Matt, Mar, Matt, Mar, 3/9/98, 12:50

"I like this month, it's so colorful."
[Says mar, looking at 'Foreign Language Week' and 'Drama Month' posters]
"Yeah, black history month."
-Mar, Dave, 3/9/98, 11:50

"I'd have to take the blood to the hospital to dispose of the blood..."
"What did the hospital do with it..."
"Eh, they just threw it in the ocean somehwere."
-Mrs. Furci, Jon, Mrs. Furci, 3/13/98, 1:25 pm

"Okay, so I'm in this relationship, and I'm her 'girlfriend'..."
Corollary
"So now I'm Rayme's girlfriend..."
-Phil, 3/17/98, 10:40 am

"So instead of SOH CAH TOA it's SHO, CHA..."
-Rebecca, 3/16/98 1:55 pm
"4 Pi? What is she on crack?"
-Loren, 3/19/98, 2:50

"Rayme, were members of the cast actually frightened of you?"
-My History Teacher, 3/24/98, 9:45 am
"What happened to that mature group I saw just a minute ago?"
"It was because we were more mature than her!"
-My Bio Teacher, Ajay, 3/24/98, 12:30 pm
"Why are all those people sleeping?"
"They're dead!"
-Joanna, The Comparative Religions Class, 3/24/98, 1:00 pm

"You were in my dream last night!"
"Was it a nightmare?"
-Rebecca, My Math Teacher, 3/29/98 1:40 pm
"We all engage in this type of conversation: 'I love you, you love me'...We're all just a bunch of crazy Barneys bumping around the world."
-My French Teacher, 4/8/98, 9:50 am
What is the plural of Barney?

"No, she said wa-wa, remember?"
-Rebecca, about Helen Keller, 9:55 pm 5/4/98

"Australia is a commonwealth? I thought it was its own continent."
"It's kind of not fitting that an entire continent would be subordinate to a little island."
"Size doesn't matter."
-Alex, My History Teacher, Rebecca 10:40 am, 5/1/98

"Look at the light [through the fog], isn't that cool?"
"It is cool, but Goddamn!"
-Matt, Anon, 10:05, 5/4/98

"She doesn't want to fall into the psycho-lesbian's grasp."
-My French Teacher (about French Literature), 8:55 am, 5/8/98

"When last year's class opened up the DBQ, there was a collective moan."
"Yeah, the Panic of 1996."
-My History Teacher, Nolan, 10:15 am, 5/13/98

"You must be a mess!"
-My Bio Teacher, 12:05 pm, 5/13/98

"I respect the man for getting away with murder."
-Rayme (about OJ), 1:05 pm, 5/26/98

"I've been getting all the lights, except for the one I was stopped at."
-Mar, 10:00 pm, 6/24/98

[Addressed to Amanda and Me]
"I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about girls."
[Amanda looks like she is about to strike Graham]
"I mean...you're abovegirls!"
-Graham, 4:43 pm, 7/2/98

Trivial Pursuit Question: What is Mexico's main mountain range?
"I think it's the Rockies."
"Yeah, but it changes to the Sierra Madres."
"Well, did they change it before or after this edition came out?"
-Game, Corinne, Matt, Corinne, 11:20, 7/18/98

"She's a nut and a half."
"A nut in a half shell?"
"Heroes in a half shell."
"Turtle Power!"
"That's it, we've found 4 degrees of stupidity."
-Mar, Dave, Mar, Dave, Graham, 9:00, 8/6/98

"I hate people who think they can just lean things on the table because it's a flat surface!"
-Mom, 7:00, 8/16/98

"I like the names 'Kismine' and 'Random'."
"Where did you hear those?"
"I read them in a book."
"Did you read them as names? I read the word 'the' in a book, but I wouldn't name my kid that!"
-Mar, Mom, Mar, Mom, 7:30, 8/16/98

"I listen to non-lesbian music..."
-Heidi, 11-something, 8/28/98

"Pop quiz, hot shot. There's this new emphasis on lateness, but it's like 7:40 and you find you're the 76th person on the parking lot at school. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Take the other cars out of the equation."
-Phil, Dave, 8:00 pm 9/2/98

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