"How long should a relationship last? Long enough for me to say WILLIAM SHATNER!"-Rayme, after we didn't win the Metro contest
"How long should a relationship last? Long enough for me to say WILLIAM SHATNER!"
-Rayme, after we didn't win the Metro contest
"Then I said to her, 'Yo bitch, gimme my protractor!' Then I turned around, and I smacked 'er."
-Graham. I wasn't even here for this, but it struck me as funny.
"So much to do so much to see so what's wrong with liking 'The Backstreet Boys'...Hey now, you're a rock star, get your grove on, oh yeah! Hey now, you're a rock star, get your swerve on, get laid!"
-Corinne's Version of Smash Mouth's "All Star", all summer
"He's going to Tisch University."
"Tisch University??"
"TISCH U!"
"Tisch U? I don't even know you!"
-Graham, Craig, Graham and Craig, Table, 8/20/99, before 11 pm
"Wait a minute...I have NO IDEA what day it is! High Five!"
-Phil, no idea when. High Five!
"Star Wars is not going to make make more money than Titanic."
"Yes it will....when Titanic came out, did you see people running around dressed like boats?...I saw light sabers, I never saw those steampipe thingies."
-Matt Cataldo, 5/27/99, 11:30 am
"Hotel California...is about Phil's mom."
-Mike, 4/18/99 12:57 pm
"So I put down the phone, and I asked Vicki if there were tickets left for broccoli spears! I swear that's what the woman said on the phone said, how was I supposed to know that it was Brittany Spears!"
-Aunt Nancy, 4/17/99 9:00 pm (this is not truly a direct quote)
"Buy a candygram...and send it to Satan. Pick out the gayest card here and send it to Satan."
-Matt, 3/24/99, 3:45-ish
"It's like God laughs and says, 'Not only will I let him be accepted to college right in front of you, I won't send you anything today! I'll send you complimentary greeting cards with Jesus on them instead!'"
-Mar, 3/22/99 4:00pm
"If we ever found India, we would have found Rishi and beat him up."
"You couldn't find him!"
"We couldn't find him because we were lost! 'Cause we had a little wine that afternoon."
-Mr. Tina's thoughts on Colombus and why the Italians couldn't find India. Mr. Tina, Someone, Mr. Tina 3/17/99 10:45am
"It was an extended metaphor! If you don't like extended metaphors about sex...you can suck it!"
-Dave, 1/21/99, 7:00 pm
"My notebook...it's over."
"Your notebook is representative of your life."
-Mike, Andrew, Somtime, Some Day
"I thought I was in that van!"
-Graham, after seeing his reflection in the window of a passing van, 3/3/99, 1:00pm
[Mar grabs a cookie]
"There goes my Florida diet."
"Where are the Florida Diet cookies, I see chocolate chip."
-Mar, Dave 2/11/99, 7:30pm
"That's a cello."
(about the background music to a movie)
"Cello?!? That's a blanket!"
(about the picture on the screen)
-Phil, Graham, 1/15/99, in the afternoon
"I'd like to see Mr. Tina come in in a tank top."
"What does that mean?!>"
-Brian, Mr. Tina, 1/6/99 10:56 am
"Okay, the real Key Club picture is...10 o'clock at night...in the old boathouse."
-Amanda 12/21/98 11:52
"Sometimes dumb is beautiful."
-My Math Teacher, 12/11/98
"I haven't talked to her since...since...I never talked to her."
-Matt 12/3/98 11:25 am
"I guess you never know what middle age is until you die, then you can find the middle."
-Rebecca 12/3/98 9:00 am
"It's always, 'my son's gifted, the whole school system is wrong'. It goes on."
-My Math Teacher (about parents in my town) 12/1/98 10:30 am
"I got it! I got it! We should have little spots on the bottom of our feet that turn blue when we're pregnant! It's private, and there'd be no mess! I should talk to God about that."
-Rayme 11/25/98 11:28am
"I never understood the expression 'the birds and the bees', could you explain it to me?"
"I don't understand it either, I just know it's meant to represent reproduction, but I never knew anyone who heard it that way. I didn't, I heard about it from Lynn Campbell in her garage when we were playing store."
-Carlos, My English Teacher, 11/24/98 9-something
"It's not necessary for you to raise your hand and tell me you have no question."
-My Math Teacher, 11/19/98 11:00 am
"So I called down at the desk and said 'Pull the plug on those channels, they're all in a pornographic coma'"
-My French Teacher, 11/19/98 10:10 am
"You misinterpreted what I said...I have an accent...I have a sarcastic accent"
-Matt 11/18/98, 10:30 am
"I mean, how does he know that heaven isn't full of flowers, sunshine, and turkeys?"
-Mom, 11/17/98, 9:30 pm
"The essay question was like, 'How does our honor code prepare you for real life withyour beliefs and your convictions."
"Heh. Fuck You. I'd like to call up the Dean of Admissions and say,'Fuck You'."
-Amanda, Ajay, 10/19/98 3:40 pm
"She's one of those people where if they killed her for being a teacher they'd be killing an innocent person."
-Anne, credit to Anne's dad 10/2/98, 1:40 pm
"It was one of those disease movies."
-David L., 10/1/98, 9:05 am
"Why do they call him God? How do they know his name isn't Skippy?"
-My Math Teacher, 9/29/98 10:45 am
"With all that was going on this weekend, with the carnival and the party and everything...it would be an ideal time...for me to rob the bank. It's a math problem, and I'd give the money back, I just want to get into the vault."
-My Math Teacher, 9/?/98, 11:04 am
"He's not nice in the morning, and you're not awake."
"So I'm sleepy, he's grumpy, what does that make you?"
"Dopey."
-Mom, Mar, Mom, 9/24/98, 7:40 pm
"Were you laughing when you read Beowulf?"
"No, I was crying actually."
-My English Teacher, Steve, 9/17/98, 10:55 am
"A really deep thought can be hysterical."
-My Math Teacher, 9/15/98, 10:55am
"Floods and things were not something people welcomed."
-My English Teacher, 9/15/98, 9:30 am
"What's on your necklace?"
"Did you ever see the picture called 'The Scream'?"
"Yah, I saw 'Scream 1' and 'Scream 2'."
-Cousin Matt, Mar, Matt (He's in kindergarden) 9/12/98, 10:00pm
"What's in New York?"
"Nothing! Let's go to Pittsburgh!"
-Phil, Dave, 9/11/98, 11:00pm
"Don't you love when the Ardsley School District yawns back in its chair and says, 'Ok, folks, it's time to make the parents think their taxes pay for something.' And then they have a dramatic pause before laughing to tears?"
-Anon. 9/2/98 10:45 pm
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