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For the longest time Amanda simply stood next to Brian not talkingjust watching the gentle lapping of the water. "Look Amanda, I’m notsure what’s going on with you, but if you aren’t gonna talk them I’llleave." Brian finally spoke. She didn’t reply, so Brian turned andbegan to walk away.
Amanda turned and whispered," wait," but it wasn’tloud enough for him to hear and he kept going. Thinking he wasignoring her, she sank to her knees and began to sob. Brian turned onelast time expecting to see her still facing the water, but instead shewas hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, and crying.His heart immediately softened and he jogged back to her and sank tohis knees next to her.
"Amanda don’t cry, talk to me please," he begged.
"Brian I am so, so sorry. I’ve been so horribly mean to youand you have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Here I am 20 yearsold and I’ve acted like a child."
"Well you aren’t totally to blame,I’m 23 and I’ve acted pretty juvenile myself," he told her quietly.
She shook her head, "you only acted that way after I provoked you."
"I don’t understand why we fight Amanda, at first I thought it wasbecause of my friendship with Nick, but Sahar said it was somethingelse. She said you didn’t like to feel out of control, and that somehow I made you feel that way." Amanda looked up at him withtear-stained cheeks and nodded. "I don’t understand," Brian sighed sitting next to her in the sand.
Amanda took a deep breath before she started."Okay, I’ll talk and I want you to listen, don’t interrupt me," she told him softly. He nodded and pretended to lock his mouth and hand her the key. She giggled slightly and placed the invisible key in herpocket. "I’m not as tough as I want people to think and I act the wayI do to try and hide it. I‘ve been pretty much on my own since myparents split, my dad was gone and my mom was just a wreck. Lord knows those loser boyfriends she brought home were worthless. The thing is,Nick and Sahar were the only two people I could count on, and then Nick left and I felt empty. I never wanted to feel like that again, I stopped letting people in. It’s always been easier that way, sure I missed out on having boyfriends and doing all the fun things ateenager would normally do, but I was safe. I was in control and no one could hurt me. Then Nick came back and I was overjoyed, but hebrought someone with him, someone who could send my whole world out ofwhack, you." She stopped for a minute and took a deep breath, she glanced at Brian and he was listening intently. "Brian, I don’t think you realize how easy it is to like you. You just have this aura around you, it draws people to you. That’s why all thegirl freak out over you, you are so funny, and charismatic, and the fact that you are rather good-looking doesn’t hurt." He raised his eyebrows and she blushed a deep scarlet. "My point is, I knew rightaway that you would be able to break right through the wall I had built and I couldn’t let that happen, so I decided that if I was mean to you, you wouldn’t like me and I wouldn’t have to worry. The thing is the harder I fought it the more I saw what a great person you were,and over the last year I’ve noticed what a great guy you are. You make me feel out of control because you make feel. I feel so many emotionswhen I’m near you, emotions that I’ve tried to bury, and it scaresthat crap out of me." She brought her head up and looked at him and he nodded his eyes fullof understanding. "You can talk now," she told him. He grinned and signaled to his mouth, with a tiny laugh she pulled the invisible keyout of her pocket and placed it in his hand.
"Wow, that’s a lot to take in," he told her. "Amanda. I don’t know any words that I can saythat will make you trust me. Not letting yourself feel, is not good.You miss out on so much. I can only promise you that I will do everything I can to make sure I don’t hurt you, just let me in, let me show you how wonderful emotions can be. Can you do that?"
She considered it for a moment, looking into those crystal blue eyes allshe say was sincerity and the truth. "I’ll try Brian, I promise I’lltry, if you’ll help me." Brian smiled and hugged her tightly.
"So where do we begin," she asked. "Well…… I know, we will try something both of us are scared of."
"What is that?"
"Heights, they terrify me, and Nick says you hate them too. So tomorrow you and I will take a hot air balloon ride and face our fear together."
"Together," Amanda repeated with a smile. Brian stood and offered her his hand, "but right now we’re going to do something I love."
"What?"
"Bust in on Nick and Sahar making out and embarrass the heck out of him."
Amanda smiled, "that sounds like fun."
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