Who shot Mr. Burns? (part 1 and 2)
Homer: Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells... Now lets go back to that building... thingy... where our beds and tv... is.
Homer: Vampires are made up just like elves, gremlins and eskimos!
Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song!
Old man: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
Homer: If you're gonna have to get mad at me everytime I do stupid things, I'm just gonna have to stop doing stupid things!
Homer: Marge, where's the metal thing... you use... to dig... food.
Marge: spoon?
Homer: Yeah yeah!! (Grabs spoon and starts shoveling food in his mouth.)
Homer: Kids, you gotta try new things, for instance, tonight, I'm using a, apu, what's this called?
Apu: A napkin.
Homer: Ha ha ha! Outrageous!!!
Bart: How would I go about making a half man, half monkey?
Ms. Krabopel: Now Bart, that would be playing God.
Bart: God Shmod! I want my monkeyman!!
Marge: Homer, you're boss said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in the next day!
Homer: Whoo-Hoo!! 4-Day Weekend!!
Bart: Mom, it's hard to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down son!
Homer: I'm surprised you don't remember son, it was only 8 years ago.
Bart: No dad, thanks to tv, I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago.
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)
Bart: What are we laughing at??
Homer: Who cares!!! Ha ha ha!!
Wierd Psychiatrist Guy: You all need to listen to your inner child.
Ned's inner child: Keep it up Nedo, you're doing super!
Homer's inner child: Food goes in here!! (POINTING AT STOMACHE)
Homer: It sure does!
Moe's inner child: Moe?! Whatsa matta? You no talk with your accenta no mora.
Moe: Momma miea!
(Homer makes ned duck while he he is driving. Homer waves to Lenny and Carl)
Homer: Hi Guys
Lenny: Wow! Homer must have got one of those robot cars!
(Car crashes in background)
Carl: Yeah, one of those AMERICAN robot cars.
Man: Take this object, but beware, it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Mm, that's bad.
Man: But it comes with a free frogert!
Homer: That's good!
Man: The frogert is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Man: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Man: The toppings contain Potassium Benzoate......... That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
Homer: (Pretending to be Mr. Burns in Post Office) Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Post office Worker: Ok Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I.. don't know.
Homer: Aw, this movie's too complicated. Hey, the floor's sticky! Whose that guy? What did that guy say when I said whose that guy?
Homer: I feel like a kid in some kind of store!
Homer: (Looking for Donut) Stay calm. Remember your training. (Picks up emergency donut box and reads letter.) "Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer." Bastard! He's always one step ahead!
Ivory Dealer: All right, I'll just stop by and pick up Stampy tomorrow morning.
Homer: Here's the keys!
Ivory Dealer: Elephants don't have keys.
Homer: I'll just keep these then.
Homer: I'm alive! And I owe it all to this fiesty feline!
Lisa: Dad, Feline means cat.
Homer: Elephant honey. He's an elephant.
Marge: You know, Fox turned into a Hard core sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
Homer: Why won't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks!
Homer: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Smithers: (TO MR. BURNS) Sir, in the spirt of the festival, I'd just like to say, I, love you.
Mr. Burns: Huh?!
Smithers: In those colors! (TO SELF) Oh, who am I kidding, the boathouse was the right time!
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