Part 5: Solitude
Part 5 summary: : Miss Parker has time to analyze her feelings about Jarod. And Mrs. Lyle has another card up her sleeve.
Friday
Miss Parker’s room
The Plaza Hotel
New York CityParker woke up with a start. She was surprised to find herself fully dressed on the couch of her hotel suite. She had a faint headache due to the vodka she had drank last night after Jarod left. She knew she shouldn't have, but she needed something to help her sleep. She had searched frantically for her cigarettes, only to discover that the pretender probably took them. Then she paced back and forth in her heels until exhausted, yet still unable to sleep. Finally she gave up and opened the suite's fridge and selected the small vodka bottle.
After she had chugged it, she sat down to think. She probably collapsed in the couch soon after. Her mind had been ravaged by dreams all night long. All variations of the same scene that had plagued her whole life. Only recently had another character been added to the story.
In her dreams, her mother entered the elevator and suddenly, a man in a dark suit shot her down. Yet last night, her mother became her, and the man became Jarod. Over and over again, she dreamt that he shot her. That he killed her.
That was what he was doing to her. He was killing her. Ever since he escaped the Centre, he had made her life impossible. This had to only be one of his little games. So she told herself over and over.
Yet, deep inside in that secret place of hers, she knew that wasn't true. She was so afraid of reaching into her heart. She had shielded it for so long, she didn't remember what was to feel, let alone to love. She was sure she couldn't love. She couldn't love him. She couldn't. Her heart only had solitude.
Last night's events had her dumbfounded. She couldn't believe she wanted Jarod to make love to her. At that instant, while they passionately kissed and explored each other, all she wanted was to be close to him. It must have been a purely animal attraction. The hunter and her prey, so she told herself. She needed to believe that she hated him. She could never love him. She could never love anyone.
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Jarod had also experienced a restless night. He had been unable to stop thinking about her, about her taste, her kiss. As he had held her tightly, he had felt happy for the first time in so long. He couldn't believe she wanted to be close to him, to be touched seductively by him. Ever since he had understood the differences between the genders, he wanted her. She was his constant dream in the Centre. Yet, she was so unreachable after her mother died. These past three years, he had been trying hard to reach her again. To bring her back.
Buried deep inside that shell of steel was a passionate and lonely woman. He had seen evidence of that in the past. She was trapped in a cycle of abuse at the Centre, unable to distinguish right from wrong. But when challenged, she did the right thing. She had helped in him in the past, much to her chagrin. She had also helped Sydney and Broots. Miss Parker just needed to let her inner voice speak. Her mother's love was inside there.
That morning, Jarod packed his things. He needed to get back to work, he told himself. He had done all he could for now. Marisa needed time to think. She should have that time alone. Having them both together in one place, confused, was not going to help anyone. Yet, he just couldn't go without making sure she was okay. He sat down on the bed and looked at his bags. His clothes in one, the DSAs in his silver case.
He picked up his cell phone and dialed a friend.
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Renewal Wing
The Centre
Blue Cove, DelawareThe new Mrs. Lyle made sure no one was in the hallway as she cautiously entered Mr. Lyle's office. She locked the door behind her and did not turn on the lights. She grabbed a small flashlight from her pocket and headed towards Lyle's personal computer.
"This is not going to be easy," she told herself as she turned it on and began working. She was planning on hacking earlier, but every time she tried doing something that Broots showed up. He was up to something. She needed to investigate him further. Maybe Lyle had hired him to keep tabs on her. That whole "I thought you were Chinese?" scene had worried her.
This place gave her the creeps, and that was not an easy thing for an experienced operative like her.
She heard noises in the hallway and immediately turned off the computer. "No place to hide, great," she thought. She slid under the desk and took out her small gun in case she might needed it.
Broots entered the office quietly, turned on the lights, and headed for the desk. He was sure this place was going to kill him one day. He had just seen Mr. Raines earlier and had to explain what he was doing at the Centre so early, and at Renewal Wing. Mr. Raines actually looked well today. Well, as well as a walking, oxygen-carrying corpse could look. Broots assumed it had to do with Brigitte's return. She was scheduled to arrive today.
He really missed Miss P. At least he knew where he stood with her, usually on eggshells, but she wasn't about to shot him dead. At least not yet. Brigitte and the new Mrs. Lyle only added to his worry.
He neared the computer to continue his work and that's when he noticed there was something under the desk.
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Miss Parker's suite
The Plaza Hotel
New York City"What?" she spit into the phone by the night table. After waking up in the couch, she had taken off her clothes and moved back to the large bed. She had tried to go back to sleep, but she hadn't been able to.
"Parker? It's Helen. I know you wanted to be alone today, but just calling to remind you about the bachelorette party tonight at my apartment."
Miss Parker muttered a silent curse. She was not looking forward to a gathering of women who all wanted to talk about men, sex, and marriage. But, she did not have a choice. "Of course I shall be there Helen. Is that all?"
"What, are you in a hurry to get back to something? Or someone?" Helen teased with a short laugh. "You know, Parker, he is so wonderful. I wished you had introduced us earlier. I am sorry about the whole Matthew thing, had I known you already had the perfect man, I wouldn't have. I could tell from the way that he looked at you how much he loves you. Don't let anything come between you. You know, he..."
The whole conversation was beginning to make Parker sick. She interrupted Helen's comments and said quickly, "I'll talk to you later, bye." Before Helen could respond, she hung up.
She grabbed her pillow and dug her nails into it. Then, unable to stop, she buried her face in it. Hot tears staining it. What was wrong with her? She kept on asking herself. It's only Jarod. Nothing more than that lab rat.
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Mr. Lyle's office
The Centre
Blue Cove, DelawareBefore Broots could think about what to do about the thing under the desk, he heard Lyle's voice nearing. And he was with Brigitte! "Think fast, Broots. Think fast," he told himself. Unfortunately, there was only one way out. Or rather in. Chances were that whoever was under the desk wanted to be hidden from Lyle too. It was a risk, but it was better than Lyle and Brigitte.
He dove under the desk quickly as the door was opened by Lyle. As soon as he reached into the desk's shadow, he felt a gun on his head. He looked closely and recognized Mrs. Lyle, May Li, holding the gun. She quickly put her hand on his mouth and whispered quietly. "Move, talk, breathe loudly, and I'll kill you."
She didn't look like she was kidding either. Broots just nodded. He had just jumped from the frying pan to the fire. The Centre benefits where not this good! But right now, he needed to survive. Lyle and Brigitte seemed to be continuing a previous conversation. He paid attention, this might help.
"Brigitte, I need for the bomb to destroy everything. And I do mean everything. Especially the body. I don't want anyone to know who he was. No possible DNA, dental, personal item identification."
"All right, luv," Brigitte said, "But why all the secrecy? Why is it so important that nothing remains? He seems harmless enough."
"If you want to continue working for me, you will have to learn not to ask questions. Now get to work. I need the hit to occur on Saturday night. If anyone asks, you are on the trail of Jarod."
"Yes, Assistant Director, sir," she said with sarcasm as she left the office.
Broots was afraid Lyle would sit on his desk now. The desk was large enough to hide them, but the situation was just getting worst. What more could happen?
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Miss Parker's room
The Plaza Hotel
New York CityParker was still lying in the bed. The clock accusingly marked 2 pm. She had ordered some food from room service, but wasn't very hungry. She was picking at her food with her fork, carefully drawing circles on the mash potatoes and gravy.
She thought she must look horrible; for when she opened the door for the hotel employee with the food, the young man looked at her oddly. For that, she tipped him sparingly.
The dull lull of the TV was occasionally drawing her attention. Wasn't there anything else other than soaps and talk shows on? She refused to watch any of it. Instead, she put CNN on. They were discussing the possible impeachment of Clinton. She honestly didn't care. She didn't care about anything right now.
All she could think about was how much she hated Jarod. She hated him for existing, for escaping, and especially for loving her. He was always so demanding of her. Having grown up with a father that never demanded an emotion, in fact prohibited them, Parker could not become an emotional person. To survive, she had to live without love.
She recalled the first and last time she allowed herself to love someone romantically. It had been when she was in college. After arriving in NYC to study at Columbia, she had felt a freedom never before experienced. The sisters at the Sacred Heart had given her such a structured life; Parker didn't know what to do with a whole city at her disposal.
For the first couple of weeks, she went to every party she could. She couldn't get enough of it. That's when she began smoking and drinking. She had tried smoking at boarding school a couple of times before, always caught and sharply reprimanded by the nuns. But it did not become the habit that defined her for so long until college. She never knew how she started, just that she couldn't stop.
The young men at those parties eyed her constantly, but the inexperienced Parker was wary of them. While at Sacred Heart, she had never really dated. Oh, there had been those awkward mixers with the boys from the Jesuit School, but that was not dating. While Helen was always having crushes with boys, Parker always stayed away. She felt too awkward, too afraid.
Parker arrived at Columbia never really having had contact with a man. Except for that early kiss with Jarod before her mother died. And she usually denied that as being meaningful in anyway. She remembered briefly seeing Jarod in one of the simulation rooms when she visited from the Sacred Heart school two years after Catherine Parker had died. He had seen her and immediately smiled; Parker, hardened by her experience at boarding school and the scolding of her father for being an insolent girl (she had just been caught smoking again at Sacred Heart), had just coldly looked at him and walked away.
It was many years later when she saw him again. It was before she graduated from high school. This time, however, he did not display his smile. He just stared at her with hurt. Sydney had told her that he had often asked about him, for years. She guessed he had finally figured out she was not going to visit him. Instead that time, he just stared and continued working. Oddly, she had been hurt. Perhaps it was because she believed she deserved more attention than that.
Her world had collapsed one day after a post spring break party. Parker had been spending time with one of the brothers at a fraternity for quite a while, their physical interaction growing rapidly. She really did not know what she was getting into, but she was thrilled by the amount of attention he paid her. For once in her life, she had a man (an older man; three years older) who wanted to be with her. She was not comfortable with the idea of sex yet, but he finally convinced her to do it.
The first couple of times, it was not a very pleasant experience. He was not gentle nor caring. Nor did he know anything about fore play. It took her a while to realize what was happening then. He was just using her for sex. She was the stupid freshman he had decided to seduce. It had been so easy for him. The bitterness of the memory still clogged her insides. But she had taken revenge on him years later.
But before then, she thought she loved him. She had actually told him so one evening while he had sex with her. He was in the middle of an orgasm, so he had told her he loved her too. Parker thought he meant it, that's why she thought he would have understood what happened later.
While on spring break at Blue Cove, she noticed she was late. All scared, she turned to Sydney. He told her to consult the Centre gynecologist, who told him that he would keep things confidential. That's when the gynecologist told her of the cervical cancer. She had to have a hysterectomy immediately. She could never have children.
She never knew until then that she wanted children. She wanted a daughter who she would name Catherine. Now that dream was gone.
She agreed and they performed the surgery. Honestly at the time, she did not understand what had happened. The gynecologist had been cold and uncommunicative. All he told her was that this was for her own good. Now, she could find out all the details of what was wrong, but the memories connected to that event had been too painful. She couldn't allow herself to think about it too much. But at least now she knew (which no one had told her) that a hysterectomy was the removal of the uterus. But the gynecologist had told her she couldn't have children permanently, so Parker assumed that they had also taken out her ovaries.
Before she knew what was happening, she had called her college boyfriend about the possibility of her being pregnant. He had panicked and told her that she needed to have an abortion. She assured him that she did not want a child then either, but was upset at his immediate jump to ordering her around. It was her choice too. And it was her body.
She did not get around to tell him what really happened while at Blue Cove. Instead, she headed back to school, hoping he would be happy she wasn't pregnant, yet she didn't know how he would react about her sterility. She didn't get a chance to tell him anything. When she arrived back, there was a note from him telling her that they couldn't be together anymore. She thought it was because he was afraid, but still loved her. It was when she saw him at a party, hitting on a drunken freshman and using the same lines he did with her, that she knew what had happened.
From that moment on, she sworn that she would never love another. Love was just an emotion that allowed you to be vulnerable. Vulnerability was for the weak. She was a Parker. She was strong. She was going to survive in this world.
Her new attitude changed her life. She no longer felt anything. Not love, not hurt. Or at least that is what she told herself.
She began dating many men, not caring much about any. Just having sex and fun. That was all to it. She knew she couldn't have children, so why try to build a last relationship? Men only wanted two things: sex and a baby machine. She could provide the first.
That is why she couldn't understand Jarod. He had opened himself to being hurt. He couldn't possibly be that stupid, she thought. He must be up to something.
She needed to find out what. Perhaps she too could play that game. If he wanted "romance," she could give him enough to fulfill all his fantasies. She pictured his face after she was through with him in bed. He would be begging for more. She smiled, satisfied at that idea. That gave her some comfort, some control.
Yet, deep inside, she knew there was more to this. She quickly silenced that thought. No, she was going to get Jarod all right...
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Mr. Lyle's office
The Centre
Blue Cove, DelawareBroots was holding his breath, while he silently prayed that Lyle would leave his office after Brigitte had left. Mrs. Lyle still held her gun at his temple. He was hoping she was not trigger happy.
Much to both their chagrin, Lyle sat at his desk, his feet slowly reaching under the desk. Broots and Mrs. Lyle headed back to the back end of the desk. This allowed Broots more calm, although less space. She was no longer holding the gun against him. Instead they were both pushed against each other, aware of each other's proximity.
For the first time, Broots really looked at her. If she wasn't a Yakuza spy, she could be a beautiful woman. She was thin, with long black hair. Her black eyes were only small slits, as she eyed him suspiciously, but still were beautiful. And if she smiled, her checks probably had a dimple. He wished she would smile. That frown in her face was not becoming. But, what was he doing? Here he was checking out the wife of a psychopath, who was probably also one.
He couldn't be sure, but it seemed she hadn't noticed his prying glance. At least he hoped so.
Lyle was picking up the phone and calling somebody. From the sound of the conversation, it was going to be a long one. He was trapped there for a while longer.
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Jarod's room
The Plaza Hotel
New York CityJarod opened the DSA case and selected one of the many disks inside. He turned on the player and watched.
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DSA
3/19/79
For Centre Use OnlyA twenty year old Jarod is performing a simulation of a pursuit in the jungle. A small group of armed men and women are running away from an army patrol.
"The leader says, 'There's too many of them, we can't get away,'" Jarod says, "'We have to surrender before many more of our men die. We surrender! We surrender! He's afraid. He's afraid that his men will get killed. He's afraid of dying. There is too much he hasn't done. There is a letter he meant to write to his wife.'
"The army captain captures them. The leader is him, no doubt about it. It's him. They have captured the right man. They will execute him in a few days. They are going to burn his body, no chance of identification. It's over."
"Very good, Jarod," Sydney says, "Our contractors will be happy to know they had the right man. They can rest assure he will not rise from the dead."
"What did this man do for them to hunt him down like this, Sydney?"
"He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Caught up in the wrong thing."
"But why destroy his body, Sydney?"
"So that no one can ever know the truth, Jarod. He was too dangerous alive. But, now, it's time for you to go back to your room. I have to meet someone."
"Who, Sydney? Where have you been all afternoon?"
"It's personal, Jarod. Time to go," Sydney says and escorts Jarod back to his room. Before the door closes in his room, Jarod has the opportunity to see Parker in tears meet Sydney in the hallway.
She's holding her abdomen tightly and is afraid of something. The screen goes blank.
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Jarod arched his eyebrows. What had happened to her then? After he had talked to Sydney earlier today, he asked Jarod to think about March 1979. Jarod had been asking about Parker's behavior. Sydney had only been cryptic. March 1979. This was the only DSA that featured her. Slightly.
Jarod could tell that Sydney was concerned about Parker. It seemed her recent health problems and the promotion of Lyle had affected her. But there was something Sydney was not telling him. Something Sydney wanted Jarod to ask Parker about.
He had decided to stay two more days. Plus Helen had called a few hours ago to ask him about Parker. She too was concerned. He did her best to calm her. Helen was afraid that it was something between them, and she was also feeling guilty about the whole Matthew fix up. Jarod told her not to worry. What ever the problem was, it was between him and Parker. It had nothing to do with Matthew. Nor Helen.
He promised Helen he would make sure Parker was okay. And that he would attend the wedding and the reception on Saturday. It seemed Aunt Bertha had taken a shine to him.
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Miss Parker turned on the shower in her bathroom. The luke warm water allowed her to wake up more. She couldn't believe she had spent all day in bed. As the water covered her body, she allowed her mind to recall Jarod's touch.
It had been exhilarating to feel his lips, his hands on her body. Without noticing, she placed her hands where he had touched her, attempting to bring back the feeling. Her mind wondered for the hundredth time that day what it would be like to make love to him. He had, after all, studied the Kama Sutra and all those sex books last February.
She was so confused. She hated him for making her lose control. Half an hour ago, she had decided to seduce him and now she had doubts. She was afraid of wanting him. Of being the one that was seduced. This would be so much easier if he just left her alone. Or preferably if he was brought back to the Centre. Locked up where he couldn't hurt her with his touch.
She recalled last Valentine's Day. He had sent her that heart asking him to be his Valentine. What did he mean? Did he mean he wanted her romantically? But, what if he was using her? He couldn't allow him to make a fool of her. No one did that. No one.
Her mind was tired of this game. She needed out.
"Parker, make a decision," she told herself.
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Mr. Lyle's office
The Centre
Blue Cove, DelawareIt had been hours since they had been trapped inside the desk! Sydney was going to kill him! If he ever came out of this one alive, that is. Broots was supposed to be working on tracking Jarod today. Instead, he had spent the whole day with Mrs. Lyle, under her husband's desk.
If it hadn't been so scary, he would have laughed. Their window of escape occurred at 2:30 pm. And not a moment too soon, he was beginning to get very sore from being in that position. And he probably would have to come in tomorrow to do today's work.
As soon as Lyle left for a meeting, they crawled out. Under that desk, they had gotten a first hand look at a typical day for Lyle. "What today's psychopaths do at the office, next on Jerry Springer," Broots murmured and chuckled at the idea. Only to get Mrs. Lyle to frown even further.
Lyle was gone for the day. But there was no way to hack into the computer with her there. And what was she doing there anyway? Before he could open his mouth, she pushed him against the wall and held out her gun.
"If you make a comment about this, if you tell anyone, I mean anyone, I will kill you."
"Uh... Of course. My lips are sealed. This never happened," he said nodding. He decided to play along.
"What were you doing here?"
"Don't argue with the woman with the gun, Broots," he reminded himself.
He told her, "I wanted to see if Mr. Lyle had any information pertaining to Jarod."
"Jarod?"
"Yes, Jarod. The Pretender. He escaped three years ago, that's what Sydney, Miss P. and I do, we track him."
"The Pretender? What is a Pretender?"
"You don't know? I thought you would, after all you work for..." He realized he wasn't supposed to know that, too late.
"I work for whom? Have you been spying on me? Who put you up to this? Speak now!"
"I, uh, uhm," what was he going to do now?
"I ordered you to speak. Tell me everything or you will regret it. You and especially your family."
Debbie! He couldn't let anyone harm her! "Okay, okay, okay. Jarod sent us this chip that belonged to Mr. Lyle's old computer. I am using it to hack into his computer and see what he is up to. I overhead him say you were a Yakuza spy."
"What? You have a chip? Where? You have to give it to me."
"Uh?"
"Broots, listen to me carefully. If you value your life and that of your family, you have to give the chip. Who are you working for?"
"No one, no one really. Mr. Lyle, your husband, is up to something. He has betrayed everyone around him, including the Centre before. I just want to make sure he is not out to hurt us anymore. I, we, I mean I don't want to interfere with your mission."
"My mission? What do you know?"
"Nothing. Stop being so paranoid," she glanced at him furiously, "Sorry. But I don't know anything about you. I guessed you are not a mail-order bride, but all I know is you are working for the Yakuza. To keep track on Mr. Lyle. You must still be pretty upset about that scan he ran on you last year."
"To whom are your loyalties, Broots?"
"What is this? I don't know how they do things back in Japan, but this is not an interrogation!"
"Broots, may I remind you that your life hangs in the balance here?"
"Okay, okay. I work for Sydney and Miss P. In this place, you keep your loyalties to those whom you work for. Now that Mr. Lyle is in charge of the project, I don't know what will happen to Miss P., but she is far more sane than he is. Everyone fears him."
"Now tell me about this Pretender. Jarod?"
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Saks Fifth Avenue
New York CityMiss Parker left her hotel room after her shower. She was trying to find a wedding present for Helen and Richard. She honestly didn't know what to get. Everything in the wedding registry (at Macy's) was horridly suburban. Parker did not like to give things she considered objectionable.
She had researched many Helen-like stores and found nothing to her liking. Now she was on break at lady's apparel, looking at some outfits for herself.
"Why not give the gift of love, Miss Parker?" A voice behind her said.
She quickly turned around and found Jarod looking at her. He was carrying some shopping bags himself.
She didn't know what to say. She had lost her earlier determination to seduce him into revealing his plan. Somewhere during the day, she had realized that could be a dangerous path. She couldn't make her mind about him. It was too much, too soon. Part of her wanted to enjoy the chase, the victory. But the other part of her was afraid of feeling his touch.
But now, she needed to say something. Something sarcastic and mean. Something to drive him away.
"What would you know about love, Wonderboy?" As soon as she said that, she knew it was the wrong thing to say. It made her look worst than he.
"I seem to know more about it than you do, Miss Parker." He said coldly. This wasn't how he expected things to go. He wanted her to at least be civil. Had all his previous efforts last night been in vain? Was she only interesting in hurting him?
"You are lucky I did not bring my gun, Jarod," she said. She needed something to say. This situation was going out of control. And control was important to her. Without control, there was nothing.
"Why? Interested in seeing the interior of a New York jail, Miss Parker?" No she's afraid, he suddenly knew. Maybe there was a chance to reaching her feelings, below all that Parker exterior.
"The only interior you are going to be seeing is your Centre room." She was running out of ideas here. How long could they continue this banter? She couldn't believe she was scared. But I'm not scared of him, she told herself. I am scared of me.
"I don't think so, Miss Parker." He could ask about March 1979, but somehow he knew this was not the right moment. She was too afraid of getting hurt. How could he reach her?
Parker just stared. What's happening? What's happening to me? She asked herself over and over. She dropped the black dress she had been about to try on and let go of any logical thought.
She reached out to him, in the middle of lady's apparel, and put her arms around him. As soon as she touched him, he let go of all his bags and embraced her. He was as surprised as her when he felt her lips on his. Several shoppers stopped to look at them.
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Sydney's office
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware"Where have you been all day, Broots? I thought you were coming here early."
"Oh, Sydney. I am so glad just be alive."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, my God, you have no idea what I have been through. And, ouch!, my back is killing me." Broots sat down in Sydney's chair and let out a loud sigh of relief. He was alive!
"Tell me what happened, Broots," said Sydney is his advise giving voice.
"Well, it all started this morning," Broots began.
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The Devon's apartment
New York City"Marisa dear, so nice to see you again!" Aunt Bertha greeted them at the door. After making out at Saks and been asked nicely by the security to leave, Jarod and Parker had stepped outside and pretended that nothing was going on between them. But it was too late for rationality, self-control or logical thought.
She had glanced at her watch and remembered she was going to meet Helen at her apartment in an hour. Their bachelorette party was scheduled early. Helen wanted to make sure she had a full night's sleep before the wedding. She had turned to Jarod and told him she had to go see her. He agreed to accompany her there. They got into a cab and after giving him directions, Jarod reached towards her and continued their kissing feast. She did not pull away. The cabby smiled at them.
Now, here they were outside of the Devon's apartment, with Aunt Bertha.
The old lady gave Jarod a hug. "Such a nice boy! You are a lucky girl, Marisa." Miss Parker was so confused she did not notice Aunt Bertha was not only calling her "Marisa," but also pinching Jarod's behind.
Instead she glanced inside and caught the eye of a friend of Helen's. The young woman stepped into the entrance hallway and eyed Jarod with obvious desire.
"Please tell me he is the stripper for the party," the woman said.
Parker immediately stepped between her and Jarod. Coldly she said, "I don't think so."
Helen then stepped in and said lightly, "No, Jessica, no. One could only hope. This is my dearest friend Parker from Sacred Heart and this is her boyfriend, Jarod."
"Oh," said Jessica regretfully, "Too bad. She shook their hands and while she was touching Jarod's, she leaned forward and whispered, "If you ever get tired of Miss Congeniality over there, call me."
By now all the other women were gathered there, eyeing Jarod and Parker. She felt like she was about to lash out and make some damage if someone neared him. When did I become so protective? She wondered.
Jarod was enjoying the attention, but especially enjoying her reaction to the whole scene. This was hopeful. Although initially their encounter at Saks had been brusque, its aftermath had been delightful. Kissing her was a new experience for him. It felt like nothing he had done before. He couldn't describe it verbally. It was as if the world had stopped, and all that was left was her essence intermingling with his.
He could still tell she was holding her emotions back, but he was slowly wearing her defenses down. He just hoped he did so before he lost any self control. He was rethinking his earlier desire to hold off on physical intimacy.
"Well, Jarod, as much as we would be delighted to have you, this is a girls' night. So please excuse us and see you at the wedding," Helen told him as she pushed him out.
Before he left, he turned to Parker and told her, "I'll see you later."
She nodded and smiled. He was so touched by her smile. She hardly ever smiled. It melted his heart.
She couldn't believe she was smiling at him. What was wrong with her? But she caught her eye and ignored all the warning bells inside her head. Instead, she leaned into him and brushed her lips with his. He closed his eyes and gently kissed her back.
Everyone just stared, envious of the apparent attraction they shared.
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Sydney's office
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware"So she just let you after you told her everything she wanted to know, Broots?"
"Yes. But Sydney, she had threatened me. I couldn't lie to her. I was afraid for my life!"
"It's okay, Broots. I understand. This all ads a new dimension of deceit around here."
"You are telling me. I just wished Miss P. was back. She would know what to do. What are we going to do?"
"Nothing for now. We shall keep this information to ourselves and see where this all leads. You need to find out what Lyle is up to."
"Yeah. I'll do my best. But I am afraid she wants the chip. I stalled by telling her Miss P.'s got it, but I don't know when she'll figure out that isn't true."
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The Devon's apartment
New York CityAfter Jarod had left, Parker had just floated into the apartment and sat down in the couch. She was introduced to all the other guests, but she was so caught up in her mind that she had no idea what was going on.
She had been there for a while, until Helen nudged her and told her to come into her bedroom. All the women were gathered there, giggling.
"Oh, good Parker, we are playing truth or dare. It's your turn," Jessica said.
"Uh?"
"Choose truth or dare?"
"Uh. Oh, truth."
"Okay, great! I told you she would go for truth!," she muttered to the woman next to her, Kim, "So, what is sex with Jarod like? We are all dying to know."
"What?"
"Oh, you chose truth. Now you have to tell us."
"I..." What was she going to say? Ironically, that was a question that had occupied her mind ever since her shower hours earlier.
"Come on. You can ask or dare us afterwards."
"I..." Well the truth would do right now, she decided, "I don't know. We haven't had sex... Yet." She added as a last minute comment to ensure none of these women got any ideas.
"What? Are you out of your mind?" Jessica said dumb struck. "If I were you..."
Before she could finish, Helen stepped in and said, "Parker and Jarod are old fashioned about that sort of thing. Now," she paused, "It's someone else's turn. Come Parker, I need help bringing more refreshments." Helen pushed her out the room and closed the door behind her.
"I am so sorry about that. I had forgotten how irritated you get around groups of strangers. I guess I had forgotten how you liked to be alone at Sacred Heart."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not okay. What's wrong? I know you don't want to talk about it, but I am your friend. I know you are hurting. Please tell me what is wrong? Come on, Parker. It's me. I'm here for you. I know it has to do with Jarod. What are you so afraid of?"
"I... I just don't know. I am so confused."
"Come, let's go to the kitchen and talk about it over tea."
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The Devon's apartment
New York CityIt had taken quite a few cups of tea for Parker to finally be honest about Jarod. Most of the other guests had already left. Parker felt bad about ruining Helen's party, but Helen didn't seem to mind. She was more concerned about Parker's feelings.
"He says he loves me, but I don't know."
"And you are afraid of being hurt? That's understandable, Parker. After all you have gone through. Your mother's death, your father's coldness, that horrid college boyfriend that broke your heart. That long string of casual relationships. No wonder you don't want to trust anyone. But I know Jarod is different. I know he loves you. I can see it every time he looks at you."
"Oh, Helen. I can't love him," she sobbed. "I don't know how to love."
"Parker, Parker, it's okay. Let it all out," Helen softly embraced her and stroked her hair, "Love is not something you do, it's something you feel. In order to fall in love, you need to let go. You need to jump in, with your eyes closed. If you stop thinking and start acting, you will feel it. Trust me. And trust him."
"But there are other factors at play here."
"So what? There are always other factors. This is your life. And from what I can tell, you don't have much of one, Parker. Working all day, smoking, drinking. You need to take time for yourself. And I think Jarod should be your medicine."
"I.."
"Don't say anything. Just give it a try. Tomorrow at the wedding. Dance with him, talk to him, discuss your feelings. Tell him what's in your mind. Allow him to explain what he feels. See how that makes you feel. Then see what happens."
"Do you think that's wise?"
"This is not about wisdom, it's about what you need. I know you need to give him a try. He's good for you. Please tell me you will at least try. Please, Parker. Please."
Once Helen got insistent about something, nothing could stop her.
"All right."
"Good and now, let's go back to the party. Or what is left of it. Oh, don't worry. Only the truest of friends remain. It's more intimate that way. And don't worry about Jessica. She's like that, always hitting on involved men. Plus she's gone now."
They headed out of the kitchen back to the party. Parker thinking what she had just promised Helen. Her mind was still in turmoil. But she was going to try. She did not want to think why. Just act, not think. She told herself.
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end of part 5
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sneak preview of part 6: At the wedding, Jarod and Miss Parker talk about their feelings in depth.