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SUB-ZERO

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Set at 10,000 ft underneath the Earth's surface (i.e. a studio somewhere in London), Sub-Zero is a live show that attempts to reach the parts other gameshows can't reach. Oh sorry, it isn't actually a gameshow it is "the ultimate Battle of the Sexes played out 10,000 ft beneath the Earth's surface" (in reality, a set in London). But what is the point of all this? Why do they bother? The water in that deepest darkest studio in London, sorry, underground bunker is contaminated [gasp!] so teams of men (Team XY) and women (Team XX) battle it out through the show in order to win Biospheres. What are Biospheres I hear you ask? Why, I'll tell you! Biospheres decontaminate the water so it's drinkable again. Luckily and some might say spookily, the Biospheres collected last just until the next week's show. The team with the most Biospheres at the end of the show wins some electronical prizes, the losers get {der-der-dah!] frozen in the Cryogenic Chamber where it's a bit nippy and no mistake. But don't worry kids because it's only television.

So what does this actually boil down to? Well I'm not quite sure actually. It's sort of part Knightmare, part Crystal Maze and part Gamesmaster although not quite as good as any of them yet reasonably enjoyable all the same.

The opening sequence is quite polished with theme music that starts off anoying and gets gradually on your head until it won't leave. The computer graphics for this and the in-between game bits through the underground bunker are very nice and cool.

Each team is made up of three kids (each given a nickname and allowed to make a sort of 'look how hard I am' pose to the camera and a celeb from the CBBC roll of celebs, the two celebs usually have a connection by working on the same show). Robin will probably say something silly or mock.

People at home also get the chance to get they're name on TV by writing a message to Chatterbox Live. At the bottom of the screen is a running Vidi-printer which prints people's messages that they've phoned, E-mailed or left on the web-site for the programme. There is usually a question like 'Who do you support' and 'if you were in Sub-Zero conditions, who would you survive?' A nice touch.

A note about the hosts: they actually work really well in my own opinion. Robin Banks is an ex-DJ and is usually pretty funny in a sort of detached ironic sense whilst simulataneously being an 80s throwback and Jemma James seems a 60s Futuro-hippy chick if you see what I mean. Robin looks after the contestants whilst Jemma is up in the Control Room looking after everything else and going "oh, I know, showBIZ!" whenever someone complains when they're out in the Web Connections game.

Arguably the most important game played is the Net Detectives: one member of each team goes into the Isolation Chamber in order to win up to 6 Biospheres. There are five cryptic clues to five different web pages and on those web-pages are Biospheres. If they manage to find al five they also win a bonus. That's six.

Sadly, this can be done better. Sub-Zero is meant to be interactive and prides itself on that very thing. People at home are meant to be able to help the Net Detectives by phoning and E-Mailing in. Whether the Detectives are given this help is questionable, not to mention the bad acting of the kids playing, "I could really do with some help. Yes, I could." This bit isn't as interactive as I would have liked and given that most of the Biospheres will be down to them it comes as quite a disappointment. We are kept updated with how the Detectives are doing as well as Jemma giving out the answers during the show: if someone thinks hard enough and knows enough about how telly works they might see the big flaw in this and how the game comes across on live television but I'm not going to reveal it here.

Truly interactive is the BioRats game. Inside a contaminated chamber are several Biospheres. Two callers at home guide the BioRats, the remote control trucks which have sparklers coming out the back of them for some reason, via their telephone. They attempt to push the Biospheres into the two awaiting cranes where the actual players in the studio winch the cranes up and down in order to get them. In one way it's quite nicely done. Sadly nobody seems to be able to control the BioRats with any degree of skill. This is a mixture of contestants skill and how well the touchtone technology works. Erm... Nice idea, badly implemented.

Working a lot better is the Web Connections quiz. Four people, two of each gender, take part in a live quiz from Internet Cafes across the nation. For 1:30, each contestant is asked a CBBC/school type question in turn. If they get it correct then they stay in. If they get it wrong or the connection goes down then they are out (this is accompanied with their little vid-window getting crossed off and a cow mooing sound). ANybody left in at the end of the game wins a Biosphere for their gender in the Bunker.

Another way the people at home can win a BioSphere is with the BioSphere Bonanza (cue showbiz jazzy music). Jemma reveals three clues which when solved reveal a three-digit code: the code to the safe. The people at home are then given about three minutes to ring in on a special phone line (one for each gender) and give the code. At the end of the show, the percentages of boys who got it correct are compared to the girls and whoever has the highest percentage wins a BioSphere.

Arcadia is Sub-Zero's place of "magic and mystery" although in reality it means they're going to showcase a Computer gaming challenge. This is noted especially for it plugging the game being played in the commentary. Which is as funny as it is annoying. Pretty standard stuff, whoever wins the challenge earns a BioSphere.

One gender then gets to play the Nebula 1 game whilst the other team go on a Virtual Adventure (the genders swap games from week to week).

The Nebula 1 game is great if you like robots who go 'prangle, prangle, prangle!' He's a bit strange and probably broken. There is a Biosphere in his compartment but to get to it, the players have to give instructions to the robot by pressing the right buttons. There are fifteen in all and each one has a word (and they're allowed to see what each nutton does before the game). If the team can make the robot (who is acted quite well, incidentally) "Walk across room" then "pick up BioSphere" then "Deliver through fence" within a minute then they win it. The problem with this is that it's the same thing. Every. Single. Week. A shame.

The other team do something far more interesting. They get to go on a virtual room. Now, Labyrinth Games (that includes me that does) invented the puzzles for these so please forgive me if I get too big-headed! The idea is that in the middle of the table is a Biosphere in a safe. The room is entirely Grey to the player inside but to the viewer supposedly on the phone and to the people at home there is a room there with wallpaper, windows and picture and so on. The person on the phone has to guide the player around the Virtual room reading out any clues that appear on the walls. This essentially boils down to a Treasure Hunt for the code against the clock with clues appearing every time they solve a puzzle (i.e. if the clue was "unwrite the words on the whiteboard", if the player was to rub out the words on the whiteboard letters in permanant pen would be left which would be the next clue). Each of these puzzles were themed somehow even though the room is the same each week (just the objects inside change). I'm told that when people talk about Sub-Zero the Virtual room is the first thing they talk about which is always nice! The concept works quite well although sometimes they seem to finish the game too quickly (our excuse is that they omitted some of the puzzles).

The team with the most Biospheres after they've all been counted up (the Net Detectives have about twenty minutes to do their thing) win prizes but the losers are sent into the all consuming dry-ice producing Cryogenic Chamber.

And that's it really. As you may have noticed I have been critical in places (and because I'm on the credits I certainly don't want to but...) and I'm going to be more critical now. I think they need more games in the pool or at least vary what's in the games from week to week. Also, the mark of a good gameshow in my opinion is one that's reasonably watertight in its plot and storyline. Why is there a time-limit in the Virtual room game? Because there is and no other reason. Silly. How much better would it be if there was something like 'Our computer is unstable and if you don't get the the code in time then the room will break up' or something. And why don't they just send the losers back up in the lift they came down from? And if the water is contaminated why not just move somewhere else, hmm?

Nevertheless, the show is enjoyable and the format is fun. The show adds up to more than the sum of its parts and if you don't take it too seriously it's good fun.

Verdict: 6.5/10 Room for improvement but essentially good fun. And we invented some of the games so I'm not going to slag it off completely. And the production crew brought me some drinks :)