Observe and Participate

I've pulled the meniscus off the top and revealed some of what lays beneath. However, I now take a small hiatus from my path to tell you about daily events in brief. Then I shall return to my original direction of discourse.

I watched video hits this morning. I am impressed with most of the songs I heard. I am very interested to see how 'Hanson' develops in the next few years. They are very talented for their ages and aslong as they don't burn out, they could have a great future in the music industry. Now I am listening to a live recording of BACH: The Complete Violin Concertos (Stern, Perlman, Berenstein, Marriner and Zuckerman et al). It's great writing music. Its great music fullstop (.)

My grandmother was moved to Rehabilitation, however the next day she was returned back to another hospital, suffering from dehydration and hypoproteinaemeia (decreased serum protein levels). The outlook is grim, but I have faith that with our love, we can make a difference (isn't it strange how we console ourselves in light of hardships). It's taking a great deal out of my mother to see her mum suffering (this takes a great deal out of me too). My hands are tied, now only time will tell. If I could take the pain upon myself, I would do so. For I am but one who depends on her. There are many others.

I have been to the publisher this week and my flyers are now being printed. The next stage is the letter drop. After doing statistical analysis, I found that response to letter drops is 2%. I am sending out 2000 flyers, which could mean approximately 40 responses. This is not a bad response, however statistics are never reliable.

The kittens are great. Warm, cute and cuddly, but it's time to begin massaging them. After many a cat show of showing my cats and kittens, I realised that my kittens where the largest for their age and the healthiest in appearance. My secret was that from 1 week old, I start to massage them and this increases their body weight. All very scientific, so I will not bore you and go into too much detail.

I woke up with a sore throat this morning. I need to go and treat it (Acupuncture of course) so I shall continue on my path, but it shall not be in depth.

As you know, I like to go to a chat room and chat(being of a social nature). I observe, as one would observe a play upon a stage. I also participate. The participation however is bittersweet, as it is such a sterile medium. Typing in words and hoping that they are accepted as you meant them. Thoughts and feelings can be misconstrued, the real underlying persona totally veiled from sight. Often misunderstood, I wonder whether it is worth continuing to take part in the play, riding the merry-go-round and watching others mock each other in ignorance and oblivion. Sure, at times it can be amusing (a socio-psychoanalists feast!), but sometimes you get swept into a game, to which the end can only mean heartbreak to those involved and indirectly those who are watching. It is NOT reality, this is the most important factor of all. If you can manage to hold onto that tenuous piece of information as you watch all the different 'actors' strutt their stuff, then you can easily close down the screen and not look back. If you think that you have made 'friends', then treat them as you would a close pen friend. Sounds harsh, I know, but I need this boundary to prevent my thoughts from being caught up in the very interesting 'theatre production' of life. It is a mini life in there (chat room). A microscopic stage of life, with microscopic actors. It is important to remember that a much grandious, fulfilling life exists outside of the computer. Some of the 'actors' in chat, have a life, full of wealth and knowledge but they, despite a veil of secrecy and covert persona (username) can't seem to open up and play their parts with full gusto, not all though! Some play their part with full attention to detail and vibrancy. I have come to love some well. Perhaps I am the biggest fool (for I give of my heart with reckless abandon). That's the most wicked part of it all and yet quite laughable aswell. A joke on me.

I say this now and will probably regret it later. The more intelligent we think we are, the more foolish we appear to be. To know that there is always one so much far greater and intelligent than yourself is a very comforting thought.

I have been sleeping better now. I have started meditating again, this seems to work very well. Discipline over one's mind can be quite a struggle if not completely attuned to the benifits it can provide by it (the mind) being mastered. Alas, it's small comfort for one can never really master their mind, but we can always try :-).

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