I think a lot of our gender swapping has caused much of the communication problem we face in today's society.  No matter who is "in charge" there can, really, only be one general, so to speak.  When everyone wants to be a leader and no one wants to follow, it causes chaos.  I consider myself of a subservient nature.  I am not a push-over, don't read that into what I just said.  I simply like doing for others, and I like doing for men.  I am, I'm sure, a dinosaur by today's standards but I like being this way.  I like the man being the leader.  I look at it as relieving me of the responsibility of ownership :-).  I support the man if I feel he's right and should he make a mistake, while I will probably not abandon him for it, I don't have to worry about being the one blamed.  With leadership comes a lot of responsibility.  Having been a single parent for nearly 17 years, I have had to be on both sides of the coin, so I know what I'm talking about.  And while I don't shirk my responsibilities, I do like the comfort of having a man to rely on.  It makes me feel secure.  And I know that my support of him is something that he likes (if he's a man that shares my views).

Responsibility:  that is something that many men don't want, though.  They want to be the "leader" but they don't want to be responsible and own up to what being leader requires.  At the same time, a woman can be leader but many tend to let it go to their heads and they get puffed up with pride (false pride) and begin to become the things they hated in the men that were leaders that they despised.

Now, not all women are feminine and not all men are masculine.  And I'm not talking gay.  There is no set "rule" as to how a man should be or a woman should be, except the ones set by society and I think society has done more damage than good in this respect.

I don't think women have to wear dresses and men don't have to be all muscle bound to be "women" or "men".  That's not what it should be about.  I like to think of myself as very feminine (which is hard, seeing how I'm over 6 feet tall) but I also like to wear jeans and Harley Davidson motorcycle boots when I feel like it.  I like to wear make-up and perfume but I can also change my motor oil, a flat tire and do a pretty good job at tuning my engine!  But I won't lie ... I'd rather watch a man do it! :-)

I don't think to be a man one has to hunt and fish and use foul language.  Actually, that's really a turn-off for me.  He doesn't even have to have a deep voice or a lot of body hair.  Those are are superficial.  I think a man can be a man and enjoy Classical Music, fine wine and even be a better cook than me and not lose one bit of his manhood.

And I surely don't think the term "heterosexual" denotes a man or a woman either.  I think being a man or a woman is more a state of mind than a physical attribute or sexual preference.  It all boils down to responsibility.  To be a man requires responsibility and the same should go for being a woman.  Once we cross over from "boy" and "girl" the responsibility of being responsible should go along with it.

But I am glad that there are two different genders ... it makes life much more enjoyable!
 
 

By: Jane Byron Dean
12/98