I do feel that sex should be something that is openly talked about and openly discussed with our children. Being a mother, I know that answering even the simplest questions, when asked, helped a great deal in my daughter's view of what sex is and its purpose. I learned, never give them more of an answer than warrants the question. Don't feel you have to explain the whole reproduction process when they simply ask, "Where do babies come from?" I also feel that sex explanations rest with the parents much more than with a school or clinic. This requires that we, the parents, be educated so that we can give correct answers and not ones that our parents used from the "good-old-days". Sex education also includes information about sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. I also feel strongly that the example we set as parents speaks louder than any talk we can have with our children.

I am a advocator of "abstinence" before "protection." Abstinence teaches will power and self restraint. Something that can be applied to other parts of our lives as well as sex. It also teaches us to examine the situation before leaping into bed, so to speak, and then finding that we made a mistake that cannot be erased. I feel that, sadly, the institutes that teach our children sex education lack information in this area. It seems easier to hand them a condom or offer them an abortion than to explain the benefits of restraining from sex. I have often reminded my daughter that while no one has ever been known to die from NOT having sex, too many have died FROM having sex.

I remember, all to well, the "sex education" I received from my mother. I will recall that "special moment" for you: I was 12 and standing on our back porch, watching Mikey (my dog) and Lady (a new dog we had gotten) attached and having a difficult time of it. I called for my mother as I was very worried that they were hurting each other. My mother appeared and, after reviewing the situation, placed an arm over my shoulder and calmly explained, "Mikey and Lady are making puppies. It's very much the same way with people. Only the man doesn't bite the woman on the back of the neck." Well, you can imagine my shock when I discovered that she had been wrong ... on BOTH counts! LOL

But seriously, I never received a real sex education. My mother was not capable of explaining the "birds and the bees" to me and neither was my school. Our sex education film consisted of an animated short that showed some little sperm swimming through a dark blue "sea" and meeting up with a round sphere (I suppose this was the egg). The narrator's voice was deep and not very warm. We all sat there, the 6th grade class, staring at the movie screen not quite sure what we were watching. So, as with too many children, I learned about sex by trial and error and by friends that "knew" about it. Not a very good teacher!

I have found, over the years, that the more open I have become in talking about sex, the more open I became in performing sex. I'm not ashamed to admit it ... I LOVE SEX! I am not a sex fiend (in the meaning of "I don't lust after it") but when I do have sex, I assure you, I enjoy it! I'm a very giving partner and find that my giving allows my partner to give more in return.

I've had, I guess, one lesbian experience. We didn't have sex but we did display an affection for one another that was beyond a heterosexual relationship. But I just couldn't get into it. I am not homosexual or bi-sexual. There is just something about men that is what I need and am excited by. I find the male body quite marvelous and I like looking at it. I don't think a naked man is odd looking or funny looking at all!

I have been attracted to all types of men, as well. I have even been very attracted to homosexual men. It's just that the male is the gender that excites me! I don't have a specific taste, either. I have been attracted to younger men than me, older men, slim men, heavy set men. I don't favor brunettes over blondes or red heads, either. Blue eyes over green or brown. What I have found, as I've gotten older, is that I am most attracted to the "genius" of a man. That means, I am attracted to very talented men; especially in the entertainment profession. I find the talents of a superb actor, singer, writer or director very sensual. And I'm not talking about famous stars (only). When I watch a performer that is astounding in what he does it literally can bring tears to my eyes! I can't give a rational explanation for this either. Maybe it's what others feel when they see a man that is tall and muscular. That's what excites them. Talent and genius in the Arts is what excites me.

I've been married twice and am now divorced . When I look back on them I can see where our differences were. Besides drastic cultural background differences, they did not have that "genius" that I need. Had I only known then, what I know now, I am sure I would not have married either one. They were both very good in bed. I had no problems there. But they were ordinary men. One was ordinary and good, the other was ordinary and bad. But they lacked that talent and even the ability to understand my love of that talent. I know this was a huge difference that was a breaking point in both relationships. While I don't regret having been with either of them, my daughter came from the second marriage, I think I'd have grown a lot faster and in a more positive direction (sexually) had I not chosen them but sought the type of man that I crave.

There were two astounding men that I have truly been in love with. Both were actors. One was my own age the other much, much older. These two men will always be the loves of my life, though neither is in my life anymore. One I slept with, the other I didn't. And while the sex wasn't as great as others I'd been with, being with him was wonderful!

I'm a product of the 70s and sex was an available commodity. The 70s, in some ways, was more loose than the 60s. In the 60s "free sex" was only getting started. By the 70s it had been mastered! LOL But it's those years of "Free Sex" that has helped lead me to where I am today.

As I said before, I advocate abstinence and while I don't condone pre-marital sex, I don't condemn those that practice it. I just don't think it's for me. Not at this time, anyway.

By: Jane Byron Dean
1998