T U E S D A Y . J A N U A R Y . 5 T H . 1 9 9 9

I needed a good laugh today...

D A T I N G: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

E Y E . C O N T A C T: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

F R I E N D: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

I N D I F F E R E N C E: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

I R R I T A T I N G .H A B I T: What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

N Y M P H O M A N I A C: A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

S O B E R: A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

A T T R A C T I O N: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

L O V E . A T . F I R S T . S I G H T: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

L A W . O F . R E L A T I V I T Y: How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

D A T I N G: A S . E A S Y . A S - 1 2 3

I am of the belief the above came to me via email by
C A R O L I N E...so if you're reading this...thanx.

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