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Believing in a Lie
You give everything you have because you know that the sun rises in her eyes and the moon shines out of her smile but she turns her back and everything goes black and you realize that you were never what was meant to see that and that no one cares what you think because you’re only a shadow of everything real in this existence because no one understands what you know to be true. So you turn everything inward knowing that that was always how it was meant to be; you and no one else. No one gets in, no one can possibly understand, so don’t bother with them, they aren’t worth the effort. People aren’t what you need in your life, and somewhere deep inside you always knew that, but that one person managed to convince you otherwise, and now you know that that was always a mistake. Allowing yourself to be convinced that you need love and caring and that being without it will destroy your soul was what lead you to giving everything you had into hands that didn’t know what to do with what you could give. Now that you know better it’s way too late. You’ve already given your soul away and watched as it was slowly destroyed by careless hands and thoughtless words, ripped apart until there was nothing left but an empty shell of a dead soul and a body that refuses to stop going just because there is nothing in it anymore. Death is a multifaceted thing. One’s body doesn’t need to have stopped to be dead. Time has stopped, but you hurtle backwards through it into what may come but only seeing what never did and in are control of nothing save that you know no one will ever break through your walls again because this time you know better than to open the door and let them in to destroy all that you know. You learn. People aren’t worth the pain they will put you through every time, so you might as well live without them, it saves you the aggravation of taking them down with you, since that is the only thing you can do once they get inside and steel your soul because they have the power to convince you that you really do need someone to care, because more than anything, you want them to, but they never will, so you throw yourself into the arms of chance, take a risk on a dream that you know holds no ground in the world that they say you have to live in and give it all up to be where you’ve been told you should be, but it’s too late to get in, but it’s too late to turn back, so you keep on dreaming that you did the right thing in believing in a lie.
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