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Soulless
Soulless and alone you wander the streets wondering when the darkness became so blinding, and try to hide your emptiness from all who can see what you feel to be the only truth you can ever know again now that everything you had has been given into the hands of one who could never understand what you have done. Words float around you, but you can’t hear what you do not feel, and you know that even while it might have killed you there was no other choice to be made at the time, so those words of mistakes made fall around silently, unable to break into your thoughts of dreams long since shattered. Your pulse beats out the silence that you hear screaming in your every thought, but to stop it is to end it all, and are you really ready for that? Fear controls your every action, fear of losing what you no longer have, and fear of having to admit that you never had it to begin with, even while deep inside you know that, but you can’t make the thought surface, and you know that if it does you will shatter, so you keep everything locked deep inside hoping that it will stay buried where you put it, right in plane sight for all to see who are willing to look that closely. Looking in the mirror you see nothing but an empty room full of memories that you can’t chase away, distorted and twisted until they are no longer recognizable as anything but what they appear to be, illusions of what you dreamed could be, but never will because there is nothing left to be. So you continue to pretend that everything is exactly how it should be, and smile at the world even while you know that it’s a totally empty thought because there is nothing in you to be smiling since there is nothing left in you at all. You gave everything you had into a dream that was never anywhere but in your own head and now it’s too late to turn back so you lose yourself deeper into a world that no one else can see because to come out is to be alone and empty with no way to change what you know you shouldn’t have done, but you couldn’t have stopped if you wanted to, because you have never been in control of that world you have lost yourself in and what you did was the only choice you had. So when the choices have flown by you and you saw all that you could see you make the choice you feel is the only one, even while you know it isn’t one you should ever make, and it costs you everything, and now you’re alone and empty because of one choice that you couldn’t have made any other way.
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