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Silence
Silence. You don’t know what to do with the silence that you can’t break. Words refuse to break through something they don’t recognize as more than an inconvenience. Broken thoughts and pieces of dreams that you can’t find among the jumble of pain and confusion that comes from the silence that rings through your head like a warning signal. Where do you stand in a changing life that can’t make up it’s mind to love you or hate you, and throws you around like a toy until it feels like you’ve suffered enough, though it seems it will never end, and you just keep dying over and over as you fly through day after day of not knowing how to continue without knowing what it is you’re continuing on to. You drift through time looking for the way to go, but you know you will never find it because you can’t make yourself stop looking backwards into what you don’t remember and wish you could forget. The lights flicker, flicker, flicker, and the candles burn, burn, dripping wax into your thoughts until everything is molded to where you think it ought to be, but you know that isn’t what is real, and it isn’t what you need, but you go on pretending anyway, because you know no other way. You close your eyes and try to feel through what you think you see, but it isn’t there, and you can’t find something solid to hold on to when it all changes around you. You cry out for help, but all you hear is your own silence drowned out by everyone else’s silence. Fear wins out in a world where no one is willing to risk the pain of helping another in pain, because then they would have to know your sufferings, and you don’t want to share, so you stay silent. You remain deaf, dumb and blind in a world full of bright colours, beautiful music and wonderful people because you’re afraid to let them see that you don’t know where you go or who you are supposed to be. Your fear of your words will be what keeps you forever living your life alone, broken and silent.
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