Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton and the Berkley Publishing Group do not authorize this author. All characters that you recognize belong to Laurell K. Hamilton except for the ones created by the people in this group. This is solely for entertainment purposes.

 

Rating: R just to be on the safe side.  ^__^

 

Author’s Note: I know that typically that most shifters wouldn’t know what happened during their first change, but as the author I’m taking creative license here.  Just suspend the reality of the Anitaverse for a moment.  Thanks!  Also italics will denote dream sequence.

 

Author’s Note (2): I will be giving translations to the phrases used here honest.  And if I used the wrong accents please feel free to let me know.  I know that sometimes something as small as a misplaced accent can change the whole meaning.  But if you know what it means and see a problem, like I said let me know.

 

 

Author’s Note (3):  I would like to take this time to thank my beta for being so patient with me.  Also without whom I would be lost and nothing would ever get done.  Thanks also need to go to my cheering section that wouldn’t let me give up on this story even if that had been my inclination.   You guys are the best!  Now without further ado on with the show….

 

Chapter 18

 

Thoughts drifted through my mind.  They weren’t in any particular order, just a jumble of images, the type you ordinarily get right before you get into a really deep sleep. It was that place between full awareness and total oblivion.  It was warm and safe, the kind of safety a child derives from sleeping with their parents. 

 

I couldn’t tell you how long I was there in that peaceful, quiet place.  All I do know is that slowly awareness came creeping up on me. 

 

The chill of the night stole into my warmth.  My laughter echoed by my two male companions.  Their eyes alight with amusement.  It was the ideal setting for tonight’s game.  We’d all worked so hard to come up with an actual role-playing game for the Anita Blake universe.  We had rules and boundaries that weren’t to be crossed.  No superman bullshit either.  That rule had come from Michael. 

 

Michael, his sandy blonde hair fluttered in the wind.  His green eyes were so expressive that you didn’t have to ask what he was thinking because one look into those eyes and you knew.  His smile was always warm and genuine.  No one would ever accuse him of being the brightest crayon in the box but his sweet gentle nature more then made up for any mental acuity that he lacked.

 

Diego grabbed my waist and spun us around, making us laugh that much harder.  Diego’s chocolate brown eyes held a warmth that melted me down to my toes.  His full sensual lips placed a chaste kiss at the corner of my mouth.  His hand smoothed back my hair.  His mouth pulled into an adorable smile as I pouted up at him.

 

The boys took my hands and led me further into the forest we had chosen to enact our most intricate plot yet.  Each of us had worked out our roles and would be playing them out here under the stars.  It was as close to perfect as we could possibly make it.

 

All of us had labored long and hard not only to make this happen but also believable.  That was the whole point of our game; it had to be absolutely believable.  There were roughly about thirteen people playing and we had one game master that had our master rule list.  Already there were some who thought that we were playing outside our roles. 

 

We’d assured them that as long as it followed a logical, natural progression then whatever new powers a particular character acquired we wouldn’t remove him or her from the game.  That pretty much quelled all arguments.  There were still a few that grumbled but at least most of us were happy with how things stood.

 

The clearing was a sight to behold.  Tiki torches lit the outer circle of the clearing.  The tall trees opened up enough to give you a clear view of the full moon.  It was a beautiful night.   The place fairly hummed with energy.  My friends and I gathered in the clearing.  Each of us dressed as our characters.  It was nice to be able to have this kind of stress relief especially considering most of us had demanding jobs.

 

I’d put a lot of time and energy into finding a spell, an actual transportation spell.  My character was a natural born witch with an affinity for animals.  It fit well with my own real life personality.  It was like taking on all the attributes that I had to shove down and hide while I was at work.  For this time I could be the person I really felt I was.

 

As the others began their parts I was busily running over my spell.  I had to make sure that everything went off without a hitch.  I knew we were only playing but the others had put so much into their parts that I could do no less.  Sooner then I expected I was pulled into the game, my previous nervousness gone.

 

The night crackled.  It was like it was full of magic.  Little did I know how right I really was.  Now came the part I’d been really anxious about.  I had to lay out the spell.  Taking up the stick I’d brought along to mark my circle I began to chant.  My soft voice carried on the breeze. 

 

The wind slowly began to pick up.  I didn’t know quite what was happening but I was at a point where I couldn’t stop.  Slowly my friends gathered around me each taking their place.  As the last words were spoken the wind abruptly died.  The world seemed to hold its breath and wait.  For what, I’m not sure. 

 

I turned to my friends my eyes shining with triumph and excitement.  In the next instant it was replace with horror and terror.  They were staring at me with determination, their faces set in grim lines.  If I’d spent half as much time on my research as the others had I would known what was called for now to complete the spell.  A sacrifice.  A *human* sacrifice!

 

Diego slowly came toward me as I turned to run.  The long white dress I’d insisted upon wearing tripped me up.  I fell hard.  My hands and knees absorbed the impact of the fall.  His voice was as cold and uncaring as I’ve ever heard it, said, “Á la déesse nous prions. Á la déesse nous donnons l’éloge.  Á la déesse nous demandons cluice que nous recherchons.”   

 

A scream was ripped from my throat as the first dagger entered my body.  Dimly I heard the others chanting with him completing the spell I’d unwittingly started.  The rain of knife blows fell endlessly.  As my blood began to fall upon the cold ground under me the earth began to quake.

 

With disbelieving eyes I watched as a tear in our world began to form.  It grew in size until a large man could pass through it.  This couldn’t be real!  I had to be hallucinating, the images brought on by too much blood loss.  It was happening though.  One by one my so-called friends disappeared through that opening. 

 

The tears began to fall in earnest.  They were leaving me behind.  From far off I thought to wonder why it had worked?  I mean witches, real witches, didn’t exist.  The answer was so amazingly simple that even through the tears I had to laugh.   We believed and because we believed, *really* believed we’d made it happen.

 

By now my bout of self-pity was at an end.  I was angry.  I had made this possible; how dare they leave me behind like something to be discarded.  My eyes franticly searched for the opening.  I found it but it was closing.  Gathering all my reserves I moved toward it.  Inch by painful inch I clawed the hard packed dirt.

 

The distance between the opening and myself was no more then three feet yet it might as well have been three miles.  I wasn’t going to make it.  Not like this.  I gave a cry of such frustrated fury that even the earth itself quivered.  In that moment I begged any deity listening to help me.  I’d have given them anything they wanted, *anything* at all, if I could just make my fake friends pay for what they’d done.

 

As I lay there helpless on the ground a point of light began to grow.  Someone had heard me.  As the light grew I noticed more about the person.  It was female.  She was an unearthly beauty, skin smooth and flawless, eyes so dark and drowning that one could lose themselves in them and not care.  Her attire was one of leather sewn together by leather thongs.  All of that I could see and yet it swirled and moved so that it seemed to shift as she came closer.

 

Her gentle hand pushed the hair back from my face.  I held my breath, waiting, for what I couldn’t say.  For the pain to ease?  To die?  Who knew?  Her voice came not from her mouth but floated through my head.  “Such pain, such fury.  Of course they must be punished.”  She peered at my face her smile as gentle as her hand.  “I give you that which you seek.  I can give you revenge upon them.  Do you want it?”  I nodded wordlessly.  “Close your eyes,” she whispered through my brain.

 

My eyes drifted shut.  In the next instant my eyes shot wide as she flowed into me.  My mouth opened in a silent scream.  She filled every corner of my body and made me aware of everything around me.  The night came into sharper focus.  I found reserves that I didn’t even know I had.

 

As the tear began to close I struggled through it.  Tree roots seemed to grasp at my ankles and legs, vines twining around my body but I paid them no heed.  I would get through.  I had a purpose now.  I had more power then I knew what to do with.  It wasn’t my power.  I knew that it was borrowed and there would be a price, but at the moment as long as Diego and the rest paid for what they’d done I would gladly give whatever was asked.

 

The earth I’d just left shrieked in outrage as their prize was stripped from them.  The sound reverberated in my ears as the opening closed.  Exhausted I laid there breathing heavily, trying to get my bearings.  I didn’t know which way they’d went or how big a head start they had but I was here.  Wherever here was.

 

Getting up took up a lot of energy, but it was worth it.  I was not going to lay there while the others got further ahead of me.  The terrain looked the same in every direction.  I picked one at random and took off, being careful of my injuries. 

 

I’d like to say that I had gone miles upon miles away from where I’d started but somehow I doubted it.  I was in the woods now, or very nearly in the woods.  The trees were spaced widely apart.  My poor tired body couldn’t go on.  I dropped to the ground intending for it to just be a rest. 

 

It wasn’t though.  I couldn’t go on any more.  Whatever reserves I’d had were used up when I’d made the trek to where I was now.  My eyes filled with tears.  I would not die.  Not here, not like this.  I was determined that when I’d rested some I would get up and move on. 

 

My eyes fluttered closed.  I wasn’t asleep, of that much I was sure.  I could feel twigs and rocks poking uncomfortably into my back.  The cold ground leached the warmth from my body.  I felt light, weightless almost, like that stage just before true sleep.  I floated in the state for quite some time.

 

My surroundings came back to the fore when I heard the sounds of snuffling and low growls.  I could feel my brow draw together in confusion before arching up to meet my hairline.  I hadn’t thought about it but there could be wild animals out here looking for a meal, an easy meal and that’s what I was.

 

I was still too weak.  I couldn’t move, at least not yet.  If I pretended to be dead would they be less likely to eat me I wondered.  If it was a bear I could almost guarantee it, if it wasn’t I had no idea.  Without other options I lay there and slowed my breathing.  Soon, although I’m not quite sure how, my heartbeat was so slow that it was hard to detect.  My breathing was almost non-existent.

 

That was how they found me.  The sounds of large moving animals reached my ears.  I wanted so badly to see what they were but knew that if I looked now they would know I was not dead.  A cold nose prodded my hip.  It scared me so badly I wanted to jump.  I was surprised that my heart rate didn’t spike or my breathing speed up.  It was like someone else was in control and no matter what I’d wanted to do I did nothing but lay there.

 

More of them surrounded me, the heat of their bodies saturating me in warmth I desperately needed.  I risked a peek.  After all I’m only human and I *needed* to know what was going on.  They were cats of that much I was sure.  What kind eluded me.  That is until I got a look at one of them.  The distinctive rosette pattern told me they were leopards. 

 

It seemed they were having a dispute of some kind, and I seemed to be the center of it.  I quickly shut my eyes again.  I didn’t want to see it when they started to eat me alive.  There was a scream from one of the cats and a burning flash of pain that brought an involuntary gasp from my throat and my eyes shot open. 

 

Blood washed over me soaking into the many open wounds.  My body began to tingle as our blood mixed.  They took one look at me as if realizing what had happened and as one turned and fled into the night.  The woman’s voice drifted through my head again.  “Just sleep now.  It has been done.”

 

I wanted to question what had been done, but my body gave in to its need for healing sleep.  As the darkness closed in on me I remembered the near black fur and the burning green eyes.  They were important; I knew that.  Important for what I wasn’t really sure, but I know I was going to need that information for something, and soon.

 

The crush of bodies on me made me feel claustrophobic.  I began to struggle with the mass of people lying on top of me.  Tears of panic were rushing to the surface.  I couldn’t move enough of them fast enough.  My eyes shot wildly around looking for help, for something, for anything.

 

Rough hands pulled me out of the pile of sleeping bodies.  I clung to him.  That much I could tell without looking at his face.  The tanned expanse of flesh was painted in early morning light.   Slowly I looked up to find out whom my rescuer happened to be.  I stared at Richard.  Why had he been the only one to sense what was happening?  Maybe he wasn’t the only one; maybe he was just the only one to react.

 

I began to question my previously harsh stance on him.  It’s never easy to deal with power, especially absolute power.  These people that surrounded me, lived or died by his command.  There was no jury, no second chance.  If he said they died, they died and that was it.  He wasn’t like that; everyone knew but the very fact that he could keep most people in line.

 

He brought his hand up to stroke my sleep tousled hair back from my face, but that dream was still too close to the surface and I flinched away from him.  I watched as his hand stopped and his eyes became shuttered.  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said gruffly.

 

How did I explain to him why I’d done what I’d done?  I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me at least he not intentionally.  I stood there with my hands still grasping his upper arms and biting my lip.  Part of me wanted to tell him what I’d dreamed, but another part said that he would think I was crazy. 

 

We stood there locked in an embrace that neither of us seemed willing to break.  I opened my mouth only to close it again.  If I told him he was bound to think I was crazy.  Maybe I was.  Who’s to say?  Finally I made my blue-green eyes meet his burning brown ones.  “What would you say if I told you I think Micah was the one who made me?”