“FAMILY ISSUES.”
Justin’s POV
I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now. I’m standing face to face with Jim Kinney. The last time I saw the man I was as sore as hell from what Brian and I used to call the ‘Viagra Fiasco.’ God, I slightly hope he doesn’t remember me.
“You’re Justin, right?”
Fuck, he does remember. “Yes, sir.” I say trying to be as polite as possible.
“May I come in, or am I going to have to stand outside the whole night?”
I glance back at the bedroom, praying that at any second Brian would come down the stairs and tell me what to do. When he doesn’t, I’m forced to make my own decision. Looking back at Mr. Kinney I do the only thing I can think of, open the door wider so he could walk in. Please God, don’t let Brian be pissed at me for this.
I watch Jim walk into the loft and look around with his nose stuck up in the air. I don’t move from my position by the door, afraid that if I move I’ll do something wrong. Finally, Jim sits down and I feel like I can relax again. Now if only I knew what in the world was keeping Brian?
Brian’s POV
As I finish up in the bathroom I’m sure I hear talking. Justin’s probably on the phone talking to Dennis or something. Once I walk out into the bedroom I get a weird eerie feeling, as if something just isn’t quite right. It isn’t until I walk into the living room that I know why I was feeling like that. There sitting on MY sofa is my daddy.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I growl, totally forgetting that I’m shirtless, which doesn’t hide my predicament much at all.
I watch as he looks at me and I see quite a few emotions play over his face. Oh great, this is not going to be good. I glance around for Justin and see him standing by the door. I have a feeling he hasn’t moved since he let the fucker inside. He probably thinks I’m going to kill him for even allowing him in. Yeah, maybe the idea sounds kind of nice, but I guess I’ll keep him around a little longer. I’m shaken from my thoughts when my egg donor finally speaks.
“I came to let you know that your brother is in the hospital.” He barks back at me before standing up and moving to get right in my face. “I’m sure you’ve told that boy over there that this kid is yours, but I know for a fact you couldn’t know that. You’re a disgrace to the Kinney name with your fuck-all attitude and actions. I pray to god, your son doesn’t turn out anything like you.”
Ok, did he just say something about Clint being in the hospital? “What the fuck are you talking about?”
He rolls his eyes at me. “You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “No, you idiot. I’m not talking about the lifestyle crap, I’m asking about Clint.”
“He fell down the stairs and lost the baby.” My daddy growls at me. As if the whole thing is my fault. Hell, I didn’t even know the fucker was pregnant again, anyway. The kid is better off dead then with him.
“Oh, what a shame. I’ll make sure I’m celebrating this day from now on.” I say rubbing my stomach. Part of me is scared. Just hearing about my brother losing the baby makes me fear for myself. I’m defiantly taking the elevator when I can.
The look on my daddy’s face is priceless “Brian Kinney, you listen to me and you listen well. That should have been your baby, not Clint’s. He’s the one who is happily married and raising his children to be good Christians. Your baby is a child of the devil, and I fear for your souls.” With that out in the open, he turns around on his heels and high tails it out of the loft, not even bothering to look back or say anything to Justin on the way out.
I’m not sure how long I’m standing in the same spot before Justin comes over to try and comfort me. But what he doesn’t understand is I don’t need comforting. What Jim Kinney had said isn’t anything that I wasn’t expecting. I’ve known for years he didn’t respect my lifestyle. It’s been that way since I was in high school. Clint was always the perfect one. He dated the right guys that Dad and Daddy always loved. Me, hell, I never brought a boy home for dinner. Why? Because I didn’t have a boyfriend. I will have to admit Justin is the closest thing I’ve had and I’m going on thirty-one years old.
Then there is the part of me, the human part of me that is boiling inside with anger and hurt. It’s just natural to feel upset when somebody is verbally bashing you. The part that hurts me the most is the way he could say those things about his grandson. Noah isn’t a child of the devil. I would never admit it to Justin, but he was definitely created out of love. At least, as much as I can love another person. Seeing how my own daddy treated me, can you really blame me for not knowing how to love another person? Hell, half the time I’m not sure if I love myself. I’m not sure how I make it day by day sometimes. Right now, I seriously have to say that it’s Noah. He’s the one that’s kept me going the last few months when, yes, I, Brian Kinney felt like giving up. In a very short amount of time, I lost the one man I felt I could possibly love, and then found that I had a life changing connection with that person that I might never get to share. That’s when I notice that Justin is holding me in his arms and that I’m crying. Not just little tears and sniffling, but full blown hiccup sobs.
“You can’t let him get to you, Bri. You know he’s a jerk and that none of the stuff he says is true. Noah is my baby. I believe you and you never gave me a reason not to. He’s the most special baby on the face of this earth because he’s ours. Who gives a fuck that we’re not married, or that we don’t go to church. He’s going to have two parents who love him very much.” I hear what Justin is saying to me and I can’t help but wonder when did the blonde twink I met in front of that lamppost become so fucking smart?
Justin’s POV
I’m so want to run out that door and kill Jim Kinney. I really do. It’s bad enough that he tried to shift my loyalty for Brian. I’m very proud of myself that I didn’t take his words to heart. I know Brian is telling me the truth when he says Noah is mine. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him, so trust him I will. God, why do parents have to be so fucking mean? It’s like for the most part of your life they are cool. They just tell you, you can’t do some shit, but everything is okay in the end. Then, you get older and it seems like they are still trying to control your life. Take Brian for example, he’s fucking thirty years old and Jim still thinks that he can force Brian into believing the same things he does. Hello? But is anybody really that stupid? If somebody doesn’t believe that when they are a kid, why the hell would they change as an adult? Sure, there are cases when people change their beliefs but more often then not they go away from their parents, not towards them. I mean what I tell Brian, that Noah is special and that he’s
going to have two parents who love him very much. I’m still not sure what my relationship is with Brian or what it’s going to be in the years to come, but I do know that no matter what I’m going to stick by Noah and try to make him the best man possible.
After holding Brian for a little bit, I pull back to look at him.
“Do you want me to fix you something for dinner?”
He sniffles and nods his head. “Cheeseburger with extra onions?”
The way he asks me that makes him sounds like a little boy and I can’t help but smile. “Sure, one big juicy cheeseburger with extra onions coming right up.”
He shows me a small smile and hugs me back tight. “Thank you Justin, for being here today and every day for the past few weeks. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass, but you’ve stayed.”
“You’ve always been a pain in the ass, Brian and I’ve stuck around.” I laugh, not really thinking about what I just said.”
Brian gets a sad look on his face, and I’m not sure what changed his mood. “Bri?”
“You did leave, Justin.”
Oh fuck, he’s right, I did leave. I close my eyes for a second trying to figure out what to say. We haven’t really talked about what happened with Ethan, or why I left. I’m not really sure if either of us is ready to talk about it yet. So, I say the one thing I can think of to say.
“I truly am sorry for that Brian. It was a really shitty thing to do.”
He shakes his head and tries to smile. “I was the one that pushed you away. None of it was your fault.”
“Now that isn’t true!” I exclaim. “I’m the one that gave up on you. I knew from the very beginning that being in a relationship wasn’t your thing…That you never wanted to love me in the first place, that I was just a fuck. I knew all of this Brian, but I still let your tricking bother me. That is MY fault.”
I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Brian walked right to me and got up in my face. “Justin, do you honestly think that I would be standing here, in front of you almost six months pregnant if I thought you were just a fuck? Hell, if I remember correctly and I think you do. YOU were the one fucking ME!” He takes a deep breath. I know he’s about ready to lose control ‘cause the veins in his forehead and pulsing. “I don’t let just anybody fuck me Justin, but I let you. God, after all these years how could you think that I thought you were just a fuck?”
“Besides that you never really gave me a reason to think otherwise Brian.” I simply state.
His eyes go wide and he shakes his head. “Fuck this; I’m not even going to have this conversation ‘because obviously you’ve shut out the good things in our relationship.” With that he storms out of the loft, forgetting he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I rush to the door to give him the shirt that was hanging on the back of the couch but he’s already gone.
“FUCK!”
Brian’s POV
I don’t even notice I’m not wearing a shirt until I’m driving. Fuck, I’m not even sure where I’m going to go. Anywhere I go people will see me and know my little secret. Taking a deep breath, I think about something Justin said to me in the diner a few weeks ago. He was shocked that Michael didn’t know. Well, to be honest I don’t think he would understand. He wouldn’t get that I’m different. Actually, I think the idea would scare him to death. He hates change. He still wants us to be the best buds we were in high school. The poor guy hasn’t noticed how much things have changed in the last year or so. He’s got Ben now and they are practically living together. I know he’s happy and that’s why I don’t feel the need to mess with that. That doesn’t help me now though. I still need some place to go so I can cool off. Too say I’m shocked when I end up at his house would be the understatement of the century. I knock on the door and wait, praying I’m not shooed away.
Jonathan’s POV
I’m in the middle of making dinner for Mitchell and me when I hear somebody knocking on the door. I can’t even imagine who it could be, but I’m even more shocked to see who it is. God, I haven’t seen Brian in months, and I can definitely tell stuff has been going on in those months. This is not the Brian Kinney I once tried to get away from my son. This man looks scared to death, not to mention freezing.
“Holy shit! Brian, get in here before you freeze.” I exclaim, pulling Brian into the condo. He’s shivering and not wearing a shirt, God, what’s happened to him? I pull him up the stairs, and sit him down at the kitchen table, and quickly get a pot of tea started. I’m sure he would rather have coffee but since I don’t drink it anymore, and Mitchell is too young, I don’t really keep it around anymore. Once I get the kettle set on the stove I go to sit down across from Brian. “Brian, what’s going on? Why are you here and where is your shirt?”
When he looks up at me with sad eyes I melt. “I didn’t know where else to go, and my shirt is at home.” He mumbles.
Ok, so at least he still has a home. That makes me feel a little bit better. But, I still don’t understand why he feels he has no other place to go, and why he would come here of all places. Then it hits me, maybe he heard something about Justin. Oh dear god, let him be ok. “Is it Justin? Is something wrong?”
He shakes his head and tries to smile. “Justin is fine Mr. Tay…I mean Jonathan. I came here because I couldn’t go see my friends, looking like this.”
I watch as he points to his obviously pregnant stomach and sigh. “You’re hiding it from everybody?”
He nods and sighs. “They wouldn’t understand. You and Justin are the only ones that know.”
So he has talked to Justin. I wonder if the two are back together. The last time I talked to Justin was a few weeks ago and he had finally told me about the break up with Ethan. I let the words Brian just said run through my mind and it hits me like a tone of bricks. I’m going to be a grandfather. It now makes sense why Brian chose my house to hide out in. Justin’s the father of his baby. I almost laugh at how strange that sounds. To me their relationship always seemed one sided in the bedroom. Sure, half the time I’m trying to ignore the fact that my son is having sex with the man in front of me, but after a while I just became accustomed to the idea. Now, I’m a little confused, but in a way happy. This shows me that Brian does care for Justin.
“Did Justin take the news ok?” I simply ask, not wanting to blow up at him or at Justin for that matter. I’ve always tired to be the calm parent. Ever since I found out about Justin and Brian, I tried to get past the age difference, the thing that my ex husband hated. I can still hear numerous fights over how ‘twelve years is too much’ and ‘Why did he have to pick a slut.’ Sure I didn’t like Brian’s lifestyle much either. In fact, I hated it, hated that he was pulling my son down into the gutter with him, but I just stood back and watched. I didn’t feel it was my place to tell my son what he shouldn’t do. When I look up from my thoughts I see Brian staring at me in shock. Probably wonders why I’m being so calm about what he said.
“He took it hard at first, but he’s doing ok now. He wants to be in Noah’s life, so I’m letting him help me out and stuff.” He smiles a little and it makes me smile. “You’ve got a great son, Jonathan. You should be proud.”
“You have no idea how proud of him I am, Brian.” I say nodding. God, am I proud.
TO BE CONTINUED…
