(Updated August 14, 1999)

Rep. Bill Archer (R-TX), Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, assures the nervous on-lookers that the recently approved  tax cut will not affect the microphone industry.

CONGRESS O.K.'S NEARLY $800 BILLION IN TAX CUTS-
     Washington, D.C. (SPI)- The House and Senate both passed compromise bills last week, approving nearly $800 billion in tax cuts.  According to Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS), "This is a victory for the American people, a  victory that is sure to change the course of American history."  Alert advisors noted that the change will last until President Clinton exercises his Constitutional veto power on the bill.  Such action will likely take place in about a month.
     The bill would cut taxes across-the-board by 1%and end the marriage penalty, as well as give billions of dollars in tax break incentives to multinational corporations and special interest tax credits. 
    Critics of the Republican led plan note that this years surplus is the first ain decades, and should not be misconstrued as a sign to change the economic course fo the nation. 
     "Thats mularky!" ripped Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC). "This is a sign that the economy is almost healed from the War Between the States.  Why I'd put my Confederate Script up against any of the world's currency, including the Pound of the mighty British Empire!  Now where is that boy with my car? Hoke?"
     Others have charged that this tax plan was passed by Republicans in order to fail, so that they might have political ammunition against the "tax and spend" Democrats in coming elections.  "Absurd!" responded Rep. Henry Hyde (R- NY). "To think that we would stoop to the typical Democratic Party standards.  They're all the same, those tax-and-spenders.  Personally, I voted FOR the tax cut.  Vote Hyde in  2000!"

Click on the Washington Post to read about the tax cut in full detail.
 



 

Six year old Raoul Suarez was treated and released from a D.C. area hospital

PROTEST CONFUSION ENDS IN NEAR TRAGEDY -
     Washington, D.C. (SPI)-  In what some observers called the most spirited example of freedom of assembly ever witnessed, a six year old boy escaped serious injury Thursday afternoon.
     Washington, D.C., is the sight of continuous protests, but this day saw the steps of the Supreme Court lined with two dissimilar groups: Advocates for Immigrants in America (AIA) and the First Amendment Protection Society (FAPS). Positioned on opposite ends of the approach to the High Court, confusion began when little Raoul Suarez wandered from his father's side, during a protest against the state of Texas for racial profiling of suspected criminals.  As Raoul awkardly made his way through the crowd, his hand-held American flag flapping harmlessly in the breeze, he unknowingly entered the FAPS protest, which was to begin a symbolic burning of "Old Glory".
     The FAPS protesters, mostly from northern California, were unaware of the tiny child attached to the highly flammable imported flag, until the symbol of American freedom was put under the match.
     "Man, it just went 'FOOOM!'," reported Moonbeam Leary, 42. "It was, like, awesome!  Then the kid started screaming and everyone got real bummed."
     An alert FAPS member tossed bong water on the blazing youngster.  Sufficiently doused, Suarez appeared only aggitated and not seriously injured.  As he was being taken to the ambulance he told his father that he liked the FAPS people and their "funny smell", then oddly requested to listen to anything by the Grateful Dead.
     The junior Suarez was treated and released.  He is currently in detox.



 
     This edition of Spivey's World is brought to you by natural, Florida-grown Lemons!  Sure, we take them for granted as additives in our tea, as a garnish on food, and as something fun to toss at aging rock bands such as Chicago and Creedence Clearwater Revisited
    But I urge you to consider the gastrointestinal benefits of the little yellow fruit!
     Like the man says, first thing upon arising in the morning, nothing beats the smooth flowing taste of lemon water.  Don't waste time with lemonade, with its system-clogging sugar.  Simple lemon water goodness is guaranteed to cure all that ails ya'!



Photographic Special- Held Over!!
See pictures of the Queen and Princess of SW, Maggie and Anna. Click on the thumbnail to see the larger image.

Maggie protects her synthetic (but very dead) mouse.
Maggie surveys the back yard for evening intruders.
Anna relaxes at the breakfast room table.



Spivey's World: Archives:  Missed something?  Check out the archives of front pages from the past.
 
July 4th Edition End of July (AT Trip)

A Spivey's World Exclusive: Appalachian Trail Trip":  Here it is!!  A brief detailing of the trip just recently concluded by this publication.  Be sure to check out the photographs, too.

Spivey's World: Links. (updated 8/14/99)

Spivey's World: Movies. (updated 8/1/99) Some movie reviews, as well as "The List" (of my favorite movies, which is ever-changing).

Spivey's World: Music. (updated 8/1/99) Some new additions to the play rotation in SW.

Spivey's World: Sports.  This site is on hiatus for now.  'Gotta problem with that, mate?



Note: Spivey's World is meant to be taken as seriously as any hastily produced web page specializing in mere ego stroking of its creator.  If you doubt the validity of anything reported here, good.  You can take comfort in the fact that you are not a moron.
 
 


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