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Due to a totally uncalled for ban, CFC have not played for 8 weeks now (2 months in real time). So we dont have to much to write about really hence the lack of updates. More photo's will be added to the gallery this weekend and on a more exciting note CFC celebrate there birthday this month. On June 27th Castlegate will be one year old and holding a special All stars match with players from past and present. To commemorate this milestone we have compiled an update of what each player has been doing with themselves. |
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Present Players |
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Andy Reid - Last seen heading towards London City centre on the metro or as they call it ''The Tube'' He has taken time out from CFC to concentrate on his hair and beauty course. He is expected to pass with Honours.
CFC Fact - He no longer has two here |
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Darren Oliver - Currently playing for the
Royal Bank of Scotland until CFC sort it out. The youngun recently checked into a rehab clinic, rumour has it that he is addicted to Sunny Delight again or as its now known Sunny D.
CFC Fact - Has lost faith in God |
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David Anderson - Currently dating a top celebrity who for legal reasons we cant name all we can tell you is its not James Beattie. Like Oliver and Crinnion he is also showing early signs of a gambling problem. The three have formed a gambling syndicate.
CFC Fact - He hates Sebastien Coe |
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Paul Peden - Currently enjoying success playing for Newcastle UTD Stewards and his quarry fighting career has took off again. He is hoping to get a title shot before the end of the year and once again become chief quarry fighter of CFC.
CFC Fact - He has massive arms |
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Anthony Crinnion - Gambling problems aside Crin is enjoying life in the fast lane. Drugs sex and soccer make up the young mans life and a career in pornographic films is surely just around the corner for the talented midfield man.
CFC Fact - Visits brothels but just to inspect safety and health and hygiene |
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Anthony Armstrong - The daft lad is currently enjoying a stint behind bars for selling people dodgy phone lines. They claimed to be cheaper than BT according to him and he is currently waiting trial in a minimum security prison. He has offered a free hand job and £7.23 for anyone who breaks him out.
CFC Fact - Cant feel pain |
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Karl Shields - Has moved into the property buisness and is on the look out for a small Avril Style chick to shack up with. His skills are many and he loves to dress.
CFC Fact - Loves a suit jacket and jeans |
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Nick Wilson - The big is trying to revive his rap career after the success of fellow team members Chips And Cheese. His latest hit Eat My Bitch Up is currently riding high in the charts at number 122. His upcoming album is expected to sell atleast 7 copies and thats not including the copies his Katherine will be forced to buy.
CFC Fact - Aint nothing like a Wilson Club Party
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Past Players |
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Kevin Hewitt - Lets be honest, Chewy was the star of CFC and he can now be seen at every CFC game flying his plane around the pitch with the banner trailing behind saying ''Come on the Lams'' Chewy never could spell at school and often gets d's and m's mixed up. You dont need to be able to spell to be a pilot.
CFC Fact - You want chewy? you cant have chewy |
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Gareth Norton - Sorely missed by the fans Gaz is currently in the Navy and hopes to pass out soon when he will be a fully qualified mincer. A mincer who can kill you in two strokes, honest he can. He once demonstrated on a rabbit. The image still haunts us to this day.
CFC Fact - Holds the record number of goals for CFC grabbing 9 in one game |
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Andy Gardiner - The man who cud assist and assist but struggle to score is currently in a high flying office job but was recenly caught dodging tax. He says he doesnt evade tax, he just avoids it. He is expected to take part in the reunion match this month.
CFC Fact - Once made 9 assists alhough we only scored 4 |
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Francesco Di Pietro - The Italian love god is currently in charge of a chain of fast food pasta stores and is expected to make his first million anytime soon. Rumours r circulating his wife Jenny is expecting their 13th child despite only having sex once. Di Pietro is said to have a rare form of super sperm
CFC Fact - Moves like a ballerina |
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Jimmy Mclafferty - The most skillful player in CFC history is currently being chased by the police down the A1. 7 squad cars are chasing him and his 50cc Scooter. It is not known how but he has kept the scooter going for 3 days without stopping for petrol. The chase continues.
CFC Fact - Hates washing dishes
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Photo Not available the player does not what to be knwon |
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Michael Coates - The kid with the beast is currently a alchoholic drug taking cellar man. His career in porn was cut short after his ''beast'' was badly burnt in a smelting accident. He can be soon looking for prostitutes between 9 and 11 every friday.
CFC Fact - Has 37 sexual diseases |
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No Photo |
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