"You have a magnetic
personality, make friends
easily and are popular with
everyone. You have good
business sense, executive
ability and are unusually
fortunate with all your dealings.
You are open-hearted and
sincere and love with a
deep and strong devotion."

That was the date my three-year relationship with my boyfriend ended. "THREE years!" you say. Well, three years of corresponding and annual visits lasting from a week to a month. What we had was a long distance relationship. All in all, we were 'together' for 3 months. We managed to do the things mentioned in that Savage Garden song, from climbing mountains (okay, the highest point in my town was a hill, it counts!) to swimming in the sea. I was at the point where I had named all our future kids, colour-coordinated our future home, pictured the dog and the garden. And hey, I only did that because he gave me positive vibes. And he admits that. In fact, he was the one to broach the subject of marriage. He was my first love and whom I thought would be my final love. He was my life and I could see nothing else but him in my future. I felt so SURE about him. Gee, if I was wrong about being sure about the love of my life, what CAN I be sure of?

When I was 17, I had this seemingly impossible goal. I felt that I would be a spinster for life, and so, why not be picky? I decided that if I ever had a boyfriend, he would have to be Italian. You gasp in shock and horror, how could I be so shallow? I felt that it was impossible: I was skinny, with barely a chest to call a bust; I was boring, and nobody had ever given me a second glance. Who would have thought that if you have a goal, and believed it with all your heart, it would come true six years later? Besides, there weren't many Italians walking around my town. How did I meet Gerry? I was working as a receptionist in a hotel and I checked him and his two friends in. That was August the 8th, 1995. They were to stay for the night. We barely spoke for more than 15 minutes, but by the time I went home that night, we had exchanged addresses. I didn't think much of it, actually. I didn't expect him to write, and I didn't expect him to be my boyfriend as time passed. New Year's Day 1997 and I received his letter, confessing his true feelings for me.

April 14th, 2000 was when I received THE e-mail from him. Less than a week later, I was 2 kilos (4.41 lbs) lighter. I lost my appetite, kept crying--all the classic symptoms of a broken heart. I know, I know...I'm not the only person to suffer from it. There are probably 218 hearts breaking every minute around the world. Mine was one of them that minute.

I am getting used to the fact that I'm single again, and that I can never regain what I lost. I'm deeply grateful to my many friends and family, who have given me the advice and support I needed. And music does soothe the soul. At left is the list of songs that helped me get through this unforgettable and devastating chapter in my life. (You may notice that I added an option to buy the CDs. No, I am not being opportunistic at the expense of my pain and suffering. I am merely giving the option to all those in my shoes who need some relief). Also, the timely episode about breakups on the Oprah show helped too. I mean, who in their right mind would break up with Tyra Banks? You go, girl!

I do realize that we were not fully compatible. I could not be the Sharlini that I truly am, if things had progressed the way I wanted them to. And yes, he did do the right thing by ending it. It just took me a lot longer to realize that. One thing's for sure, I'll never forget or regret the memories we shared together. I know it's a cliché, but I'd never change a single thing! Oh, and it's true: Monkeys (1968) are not compatible with Tigers (1974). Next time I have a possible romance, he'd have to be a compatible animal.

Now I know better. Next time I have a goal, I'm going for gold! I don't just want an Italian boyfriend, I want an Italian husband! *LOL* No, no...I was kidding. I don't have the strength to embark on another relationship (if I ever have another). This first love of mine that I wished for could have been a fluke. Dare I be picky again? Should I tempt fate? Well, what have I got to lose? The next person I'll ever fall in love with, will be the person with the courage to be my husband for life. He should have a great sense of humour, and not be afraid to laugh at himself. He should be kind, loving, patient, smart, responsible, respectful, understanding and knows how to handle his money. But there's my problem. They say that events in the past help shape your future, and how you react to situations from then onwards. This major event in my life certainly is going to make it tough for anyone to ever get close to me as Gerry has. He got the cake and ate it. So to all those knights in shining armour who will attempt to scale my Great Wall of Sharlini, may the best man win (if any would even think of doing so). I might just end up bitter, Bitter, BITTER...*re-thinks* I'm a Tiger, darn it! I have Attitude with a capital A...it's his loss, not mine...I'll break hearts just like mine was broken. Nobody, but nobody, toys with a wounded Tiger. Wounded Tigers are man-eaters...Hmmm, that helped. On second thought, I'll change the 'I' to an 'E'. I might just end up BETTER. And speaking of walls, the brick wall he said he hit may have been my wall. He hit it trying to find a way out.

And though I know that I could handle a long distance relationship, it would be so much easier if I could meet the person face-to-face before anything progressed further. Just like what happened with Gerry. We were friends first, and one thing I do know is that: "Friendship may, and often does, grow into love; but love never subsides into friendship." (Lord Byron)

Yes, you've finally arrived at the end of this page. You are one patient person! What do you think? Was I a fool to fast-forward into the future, where my heart risked breaking into a trillion pieces?