[ a l s e i d ] you know you watch too much escaflowne when...

you know you watch too much escaflowne when...
...you and your sibling plot out a master plan to go to any given anime convention as selena and dilandau at the same time
...you have the urge to scar your right cheek just so you can rub it and mutter "chiku... chiku" at unsuspecting passersby
...while playing capture the flag with friends at PE you have the sudden urge to pounce upon a member of the opposing team screaming "MOECHAAAAAA!!!"
...you draw dilandau in everyone's yearbook next to your signature
...you find yourself becoming more obsessed with fire every day...
...you've named all of your pets *cats, dogs, hamsters, guppies, igunanas* meruru
...you end anyone's name that rhymes with 'an' with 'sama' in an annoying tone of voice, for example, 'AAAAANN-SAMAAAA!!' or 'DAAAAN-SAMA!!!!!!'
...you find the family dog stopping you when you try to eat the slug in your backyard
...crunching butterflies in the palm of your hand becomes a fun and entertaining pasttime
...you desperately look for 15 young guys to serve you and allow you to beat upon them mercilessly at your leisure
...you get suspended for tattooing a purple tear under your eye
...people tend to look at you in funny ways when you mutter in japanese and they swear you're threatening their impending demise when in reality you're just commenting on how much your face hurts
...the topic of conversation always seems to be escaflowne...
...the topic of conversation of escaflowne always seems to be dilandau...
...the topic of dilandau always seems to be 'chiku...chiku...'
...you spend hours sifting through your japanese pocket dictionary looking for a direct translation of 'chiku chiku'
...when you do find it, you count how many times he actually says it... (which, by the way, is 8 times of just the word 'chiku')
...effeminate albino guys have this certain allure to them all of the sudden...
...you name all of your albino pets 'dilandau'
...you only buy albino pets
...you take up the practice of etching wine bottles with small daggers and shattering them to tiny bits with alarming accuracy
...you buy a rip-off 'seico' clock off the streets of chinatown just so you can say you have one
...your friend who happens to have 'van' somewhere in his name seems to have aroused the interest of your pet cat...
...fire is fun
...while watching 'kiki's delivery service' you half expect her to set the buildings on fire and scream 'MOERO MOERO!!!!'
...you wonder if isaac newton was just evil or if the apple hit him a wee bit too hard on the noodle...
...you get a large white owl to ride around on your shoulder
...you get a tall man with long blonde hair to match the owl
...you like old french clothing all the sudden
...rapiers are cool
...scars are cool
...you get the power rangers dragonzord just because...
...chicks dig scrawny pale guys
...you make a model of fanelia in your basement and set it on fire... ohhh the fire.
...you try to sell cds, claiming they're relics from another world
...you kick all money-consuming habits *smoking, drinking, drugs, guppie purchasing, fabrege eggs* to procure escaflowne paraphanelia
...your cackle begins to resemble dilandau's
...you buy only van and nike shoes
...you rekindle that old interest in greek mythology
...you rekindle that old interest in '1001 arabian nights'
...you focus your studies on nymphs of the grottos and mountains
...you make your own escaflowne magic cards
...you hope your doctor is not only female but blonde and blue-eyed and a princess
...snails becomes your favorite food, just not when the family dog is around
...while sitting in math class you mutter 'koko wa doko da?' and have the sudden urge to scream 'JAJUKAAAAAA!!!!!'
...when your math teacher calls on you, you hiss at her 'serena???'
...you break open all of your old mercury thermometers just so you can construct your own crima claw
...you somehow manage to make your crima claw, with the ability to form solid weapons, as well
...your dad wonders why your car is missing and in its place is a huge dragon mech...
...your dad wonders where the energist is
...your dad send you to kill a dragon in order to acquire the energist
...you fail and your arm gets ripped off by a rabid hobo
...your little sister slays the rabid hobo, gets an energist, but in the process gets the house burned down
...you're still reading this list
...you're laughing at this
...you nod in agreeance with any of these because, like us, you are a sick sick person

INTERMISSION....

...as you listen to songs... any songs, you identify them with escaflowne characters
...you take up an intense study of isaac newton in hopes of finding out how to change fate
...when filling out forms that ask for your country of birth you write 'astoria' or 'fanelia' or 'freid'
...you make detailed atlases of the lands of gaea
...you follow around that blonde guy named allen, the albino kid named dilan, and that scary goth dude with spikey blue hair and purple teardrop tattoo
...you look up the meanings of the characters' names
...you try to identify with the characters
...you are convinced you are one of the characters
...you are convinced you are more than two of them
...you take the time to actually write a list like this
...you gain the ability to do very sick and twisted face-faults
...on any scenario builder of any strategy game *c&c, warcraft, starcraft, aoe, etc etc* you map out the lands of gaea
...you find startling similarities between amano-sempai and aoba shigeru from 'evangelion'
...you get kidnapped by geckomen in the middle of the night
...while playing 'where in the world is carmen sandiego?' you are convinced some of the countries described are fanelia, astoria, and freid
...gender-bending is cool
...you wish you could spontaneously change genders
...you can spontaneously change genders
...your entire wardrobe consists of sleeveless red lace-up shirts and way-too-tight kahki pants
...your entire wardrobe consists of snazzy poofy renaissance-era french clothing
...your entire wardrobe consists of too-short spotty brown dresses and sandals
...your entire wardrobe consists of sailor fuku
...your entire wardrobe consists of black latex suits, tall red boots and skimpy purple tanks
...you are outraged and offended when your friends refer to you as anything but dilandau-sama
...you have so much escaflowne paraphanelia on your walls it would protect you from an atomic blast
...you carry around a mysterious blue duffle bag
...you finish the series four times, realizing you missed two weeks of school
...you swear that creepy old hobo on the corner is the moleman
...hans moleman is your favorite simpsons character
...you grow a liking for shiny things
...you look for loyal pink tabby cats
...when your vcr finally melts down, taking with it your escaflowne tapes, you lock yourself in your basement and starve yourself in mourning
...you try to create a column of light in your math class
...you ask your physician if she has any skeletal arms she might want to 'donate for a science project'
...you will never look at isaac newton the same again
...you cry when [any given character you like a lot] dies, yet keep rewinding to watch it over and over again
...you photograph yourself with the tear on your cheek
...you imagine battle between cloud [from ffvii] and vargas and snicker at the thought of cloud-kabob
...something really traumatic happens you start chanting 'eeeescaaafloowne'
...you take up the cello just so you can play mood music at funerals and family reunions
...you call your family members 'hahaue', 'chichiue', 'aniue', 'aneue', and 'kaneki', despite the fact that you have no royalty in your family, and you have no sisters
...you look for the 'GM' button in your car and when pressed expect little men with wrenches come and fix your car
...you're STILL reading this list
...you print out this list
...you show this list to all your friends, even the ones who don't watch anime, let alone escaflowne
...you lick your friends as a sign of affection
...you have no more friends to lick
...you dedicate your life to the study and psycho analysis of the characters
...you write fanfiction
...you don't think gender bending is an odd phenomenon
...you try to envision how your friends are going to die, just so you can intervene at the last minute
...you look for literal translations of the tarot cards that appear before each episode
...you buy the exact set of tarot cards hitomi uses
...you get all excited when they sing the word 'hitomi' in any given anime intro
...there's an upperclassman track star that looks like amano-sempai and you pass out just so they might visit you
...you wonder if any of the moons of gaea are made out of cheese
...when frustated, you have the habit of screaming, stripping, and/or changing genders
...you name your dog jajuka
...bionics are cool
...you look for the nearest fencing school
...your cat seems awful jealous of your new girlfriend
...white feathers are cool
...you hear santa on your roof but immediately think it's an earth dragon attack
...santa comes down the chimney and you greet him warmly because he looks so much like mr. moleman and is obviously going to give you medicinal seeds and spoons... i mean, look at the resemblance!
...you wonder if that F-15 can morph into a mech or something
...flamethrowers are nifty devices
...you mug the new track team member, who happens to resemble hitomi, and bombard her with questions about her trip to gaea and demand she read your fortune
...you take up the study of japanese just to figure out what the heck 'chiku chiku' really means
...the magic card 'child of gaea' makes you immediately think prince cid
...track is cool
...you buy 'illusion of gaia' for snes in hopes of seeing cameos of the escaflowne characters
...you throttle anyone who dares compare dragonball to escaflowne
...you would fight to the death for your little sister, even if it's like, halfway your sister but not quite there yet
submitted by lady alseides
...You put an ad in the Personnals: Seeking Single White Male. Must be 15, have silver hair, violet eyes, and an insane obsession for fire...
...All your friends, family, co-workers, classmates think your nuts cuz you talk about Dilandau and his Slayers as if they were real...
...You've got EVERY picture of Dilandau & his Slayers all condensed into a mirage and you put it in ALL your class folders.

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alseid and alseid 'naruto @' logo © 2000 hanako
we do not claim to own escaflowne, dilandau, serena, dr. evil, or any other fictional person, place, thing, or idea we might have made reference to. they are the property of their creators, yadda yadda yadda, you get the point. this is a disclaimer and stuff.
all images are made by me [hanako]. all pictures of dilandau used on this page are scanned by hanako [except where otherwised mentioned]. all 'official' dilandau art is obtained from the 'vision of escaflowne' art book released by sunrise.
alseid was created by both dilandeau and hanako utilizing raw html. we don't believe in editors mainly because html is fun ^^
please ask permission to use anything on this site. thanks!