Brian Staton, our illustrious sports guru around here, just told me about this weekends' baseball game on the AM station. It seems they just added the satellite to our array and it wasn't quite adjusted properly...during the LIVE game coverage...a bleed over signal was coming through...so while the ballgame was saying..."Here's the Pitch....swung on a strike." All calm and quiet...underneath you could hear a black guy screamin' "Mutha Fucker!! I told dat bitch to suck my dick!!!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally a Kodak moment on audio!!!
I mean it was awesome!!!! Can you imagine? Little old ladies in a small Tennessee town hearin' that...I'm surprised we didn't have more obits this morning!
It ended up being some Black Activist show on a different satt. channel...they turned the game off! :)
posted by Patch Landers at  2:00pm

Monday, April 23, 2001

Well for the last two weekends we've left after my remotes (that's a live broadcast for the radio uneducated...consider yourselves lucky! ) and driven to Alabama. This time I was up at 6am on Saturday...did a remote at the MS Walk and then a four hour broadcast at Lowe's. (this makes week # 2, if there is a week three I may kill myself!) Immediately after the remote I drove the hour home and then the 7 hours to Bama. I AM EXHAUSTED!!!! I need a vacation from my off days! I told Ricki I wanta go camping this weekend - need a brainbreak! Commune with the Goddess in nature and stuff! ( By the way, go check out a hilarious story about our trip on Ricki's Blog!!! Too damn funny! )
Well I mentioned the MS Walk remote on Saturday, the cutest thing happened. (yeah I said cute...wanna fight about it?) Our mascot at the station is a BIG dog...(hence the name Big Dawg Country...yes the spelling is correct...*eyes rolling*) It's a giant frickin' dog with a big foam cowboy hat on...kids either love him or run screaming in fear of him. Luckily my buddy Ron (who wears the suit) loooooves kids, and is great with them. So as soon as I get him out of the van (hard to see in those suits) this little blonde haired, blue eyed boy who's all of 2 or less runs up to him....NO fear! He wore the biggest smile you've ever seen and screams "BIG DAWG!!!" Ron hugs him and they talk (actually the kid talked, Ron isn't supposed to while in the suit...union rules) He little boy tells me that he has a dog at home that is his friend. A puppy. After a few minutes the kids' bigger brother comes up and starts dragging him back to his mom and dad...well the little one got mad as a hornet and started crying - while the dad told the older one to stop, the younger one walks up to the big dawg... Ron (in suit) goes down on one knee with his arms open, the little boy crying and rubbing his eye, hugs the dog....who starts patting him on the back....sweetest thing I've seen in a long time! (yeah I said sweet...wanna fight about it?) I would've killed for a camera!!! The crowd around us was going "Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!" Very cool! Like I've said before, sometimes my job kicks ass!
posted by Patch Landers at 1:30pm

Monday, April 23, 2001

I had another "Breakfast at Tipton's" last week. I met an old man there, we fell into conversation by accident. He was small of stature, his eyes sunk into his face...he was frail, but the larger forearms he carried gave evidence of a much larger man in his youth. He was hard of hearing, and had a voice that was soft, fast and extremely country...so thick I could barely translate...but we made out alright. He just seemed genuinely happy to have someone to talk to and that would listen.
One of the first things he said to me was that all his friends and family were gone...that they "left me all alone." He spoke of old classmates still around and how when he visits he says to them, "I thought I'd find you in better shape." They were all dying and old...I think he just about cried. It made me want to wrap my arms around him and tell him "somebody still cares." But I would never rob him of his dignity like that. Noticing I was listening attentively, he started telling me of his life, how he'd always worked hard....working his Dad's farm, which later became his. How back in the day, they used horses...not machines to do the work. They would have to be strong to hold the horse and plow, or bale the hay by hand. He said they would work the 500 acre farm from pre-dawn to dusk. That they had build sheds and barns with wood they cut of their land. He said the best timber was on a steep hill, they would cut the logs and pull them down hill with horses...sometimes the logs would uproot large rocks that would come rolling down and nearly crush them or the horses...so they had to be careful. They used a truck to transport the huge timber once it was on the flatlands. The truck would sometimes get bogged down by the weight of the logs and the wet ground. The flatland stayed wet because of a nearby creek that flowed through the farm. One time, he shared, the truck sank front end first into a sinkhole, and a log shot through the cab of the truck...nearly killing the driver...who never came back after that day. They played hell getting that truck out.
He also told me that he was a curious boy. One day he decided he would find out where the creek started, "sprang from" I think he called it, so he followed the stream to it's source. It was a cave, big enough to walk in. He said the air was like air conditioning inside, cool and damp...there were trails where animals had come and gone...ice cold water flowed from a spring...AWESOME! It was more like an old novel than reality to listen to.
He told me he had worked hard, long 16 hour days and that he really didn't know why he did it. It had destroyed his body. "Wanted money," he guessed. He said the money never lasted, was always gone too fast...and that you couldn't take it with you anyway. Said he tried to tell his 3 grandsons to keep working the farm, now 800 acres. It was good honest work and they could work in shifts and still make good money..."no farms, no food",he said. He doubts they'll do it.
This man was trying to remind me, in his quiet, country way...that life is short, fortune fleeting, and the simple pleasures mean the most and remain the longest...especially in memory. The very same lessons Dad's death had taught me a month earlier. I made me realize, once again, that life and humanity are precious and beautiful....to grab those you love with both hands and treasure them! Hold onto them tight! (Screw what that .38 Special song about hold on loosely said!) To live and love like there's no tomorrow - cause one day...there won't be.
posted by Patch Landers at 1:30pm

Friday, April 20, 2001

Ahhhh, sunshine again! Ya know I think I'd like to drive over to North Carolina and climb a mountain!

 
Huge vapours brood above the clifted shore,
Night o'er the ocean settles, dark and mute,
Save where is heard the repercussive roar
Of drowsy billows, on the rugged foot
Of rocks remote; or still more distant tone
Of seamen, in the anchored bark, that tell
The watch relieved; or one deep voice alone,
Singing the hour, and bidding "strike the bell."
All is black shadow, but the lucid line
Marked by the light surf on the level sand,
Or where afar, the ship-lights faintly shine
Like wandering fairy fires, that oft on land
Mislead the pilgrim; such the dubious ray
That wavering reason lends, in life's long darkling way.

By: Charlotte Smith, 1798

Thursday, April 19, 2001

Well, two days ago Colli adn Bri got married! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I got to play cameraman! Cool. I'm very happy for them.! The day before they got married, we were all riding around town and saw a stray dog running across a busy highway. So Ricki, in true form, decides we must go save the animal. (Who by this time had already made it across the highway ) So I turn around and we go towards the area where the animal was...understand...the whole time I'm saying ...."we're going to steal...I mean ...rescue...an animal here right?" Ricki loves critters so much she sometimes gets overzealous. :) The dog ran up to a strip mall on the hill. When we got there he started running away. Ricki takes off after it. At the top of the hill there was a wooden fence...she stopped there, the puppy didn't. So she called for me....Brian and I go after the dog while she takes the car around the block to meet us on the other side. At the top of the hill is a putt-putt golf course. So we look all around for the dog...nada. We are all laughing about this poor dog, running away from these crazy people trying to "save" it. I think the dog lived around there somewhere...and was going home. We must have spent 25 minutes waiting in 25 degree weather without a jacket for the girls to get back. They had been chasing the dog at a nearby gas station. So we headed back there. The dog was gone...we must have searched for an hour for that damn dog. But it was an hour full of laughter. Lots of it...very fun!

posted by Patch Landers 12:10am                                         

This makes me want to go to the beach soooooooooooooo bad!!!! I needs me some ocean time!!!!!

Monday, April 16, 2001

Ahhhhhh radio.....it's so cool. What a great job, to sit around and run your mouth, actually being paid to be a smart ass!!!!!!!!!!!!! To play cool music, and screw off....I love it. What could be cooler than that???? Try working in your underwear from HOME doing that....my wife ( my Goddess ) just got a killer gig doin' traffic...from home....in her sexy thongs.....damn!!!! I'm VERY VERY proud of her!!! She rocks and rolls and sounds soooooooooooo good!!! Now I can retire to my playstation and the couch....:)

Oh well.....so much for dreamin'!!!

Today was very cool. Not much unusual happened, I hope the Earth Goddess gets her meds....go see what I'm talkin' about HERE

We watched American Psycho last night....what a frickin' weird ass movie...hell I can't even tell ya whether you should go see it or you should burn it....I mean it's set in the eighties, this dude is a serial killer, they spent the first 20 minutes of the movie explaining the types of facial balms this idiot puts on....fuckin' crazy! You may or may not want to see prostitutes get killed by falling chainsaws, I can't tell ya....you'll have to judge for yourself...and listen to tirades about 80's music which are both beautiful and really stupid....I can make that judgment, I am a dj ya know?

Soooooo, what else shall we talk about, hmmmm? How about the fact that I'm about to fall over from sleepy beddy bye bye syndrome...zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Super powers failing.... (hey Ricki and Goddess, can I borrow some of that magical lipstick....oh it's not my color? Sorry.) We went to Bama to get some of Dad's stuff and to drop the monsters off at Nanni's (ie- Grandma's) I miss them really bad, who else do I have to harass and wrastle with? Who else will talk to me about their girlfriends? I hate it ... I miss my boys. It's so quiet the air conditioning sounds like a freight train!!! I don't know if we will make it for a full week without them....may have to call in sick to go get them sooner.

Well chitlins, I believe I'm gonna go pay a cable bill....so until I sees ya tomorrow...

I ask ya very kindly....How'd ya get to be soooooo sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?

Buh Bye!

Makin' some changes...please stand by...

^ Excepts from my Infomercial.

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

I think the Chinese should shut the fuck up.

I think that stupid people who believe they know everything, should shut the fuck up....

Hell, I should shut the fuck up......but I won't !!!! HEHEHEHHE

Did you know that if you climb rocks in sandals....you'll get a stone bruise? It's true, kinda cool. 

Add 3 + 2 + 3 and you'll get....

A) The gross national product of Yemen.

B) My IQ after two bottles of Peach Wine.

C) The cost of two bottles of Peach Wine.

D) The number of hours of sleep I've had this week.

E) All of the above.

If you picked E.... you win a prize!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!

I've gotta go to beddy bye bye bye....oh goddess I'm singing NSYNC! I think I should die now...

buh bye!!

posted by Patch Landers at  10:00 PM