Poetry

One of the things that helped me cope after Alex's death is poems I found in a variety of places. From other Parents to Books, from Newsletters to the Internet itself, Alex's Scrapbook is filled with sentiments, feelings and quotes that explain exactly what my life is like without him. I posted lots of poems scattered throughout all the other pages, but there are so many more I left out... I hope these Poems will be as soothing for you to read as they are for me. OK, so, the first few are not poems, but the lyrics of special songs.

Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us,
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door and you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on.
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're one.
Love was when I loved you one true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door and you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
There is some love that will not go away
You're here, there's nothing I fear, and I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way you are safe in my heart...

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

It's my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

One Sweet Day

Mariah Carey

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
Now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
Took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

Although the sun will shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

Sorry I never told you
All that I wanted to say

They kissed goodbye at the terminal gate
She said, "You're gonna be late if you don't go"
He held her tight, said, "I'll be alright
I'll call you tonight to let you know"
He bought a postcard, on the front it just said Heaven
With a picture of the ocean and beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loved her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach

Chorus:
Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"

She got a call that night but it wasn't from him
It didn't sink in right away, ma'am the plane went down
Our crews have searched the ground
No survivors found she heard him say
But somehow she got a postcard in the mail
That just said Heaven with a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loves and they told her
How he'd love her if his arms would reach

The weather's nice, in paradise
It's summertime all year and all the folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"
Wish you were here

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond's glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there,
I did not die.

In the depth of winter,
I finally realized that deep within me there lay
an invincible summer.
Albert Camus

Lord, help me not to focus
On his death, but on his life.
All the moments that we had him
Not the struggles and the strife.
He was a gift and not a "right."
You owe us nothing, Lord.
We thank You for the joy he brought
This sweet little boy we adored.
--Elizabeth Dent

I am drawn, quietly to his grave to check on him,
Just as I'd have been drawn quietly to his crib.
I trim the grass around his marker,
And dream of trimming bangs from his forehead.
I place flowers in his vase,
And dream of placing kisses on his cheek.
I hold his memory dear to my heart,
And dream of of holding him in my arms.

The following is not really a poem, but an inspirational quote I found in a bereavement book. I liked it so much I had it printed in the back of Alex's funeral cards...

When my baby died, I felt as though I was suddenly caught up in a tornado whirlwind, spinning around in circles and upside down, finally dropping at lightening speed back to earth, but in a totally different place from where I was first picked up, and unable to find my way back to the place I had been before. That place no longer exists.

I am going to your grave today,
with flowers orange, yellow and red.
I'll throw away the faded ones
and leave fresh ones instead.
I'll stand above the place you lay,
placed there a while ago.
And once again my heart will brake,
and unchecked tears will flow.
With gentle fingers I'll caress,
your name carved in the stone.
Then brush away the fallen leaves,
November winds have blown.
I'll dry my eyes, I'll say a prayer,
and as I raise my head.
Another grieving mother has just
tucked her child in bed.

Just once I wish I could have spent a late hour rocking you in my arms.
Just once I wish I could have gently lain you in your crib.
I wish I could have changed a diaper, chosen an outfit for the day,
given you a bath, soothed your skin with lotion...
Just once I wish I could have heard you cry out
in loneliness for me, spent time alone with you.
Just the two of us, strolled you proudly through the shopping mall.
Just once I wish I could have heard the words:
"What a beautiful, healthy baby boy!!"
Just Once.

I think about you day and night and wonder "Why Me?",
I wanted you so very much my precious baby.
At least I had the chance to hold you and feel your touch.
And to tell you to remember Mommy loves you very much.
I know they say with time the pain will go away.
But my love and memories for you will always stay.
I wanted so much to hear you laugh and cry,
so many dreams have just passed me by.
I know I must let go and begin to move on,
but I don't know how to say goodbye...

Dear Mommy, I just wanted to let you know
that I made it home.
The journey wasn't an easy one,
but it didn't take too long.
Everything is so pretty here,
so white, so fresh and new.
I wish that you could close your eyes
and that you could see it too.
Please try not to be sad for me...
Try to understand.
God is taking care of me...
I'm in the shelter of His hands.
Here there is no sadness,
no sorrow, and no pain.
Here there is no crying,
and I'll never hurt again.
Here it is so peaceful
when all the angels sing,
I really have to go now-
I've just got to try my wings!

Our little ones whisper,
"Forget me not",
As their specialness wraps
around our heart.
Their short little lives
Hold meaning and love.
Their spirits have touched
us-each and everyone.
They have left their gifts
For us to uncover,
If we open our eyes,
our hearts and our lives.
The road to discovery
is hilly and dark.
Will we long harbor the pain
or set our wings for the light?
Our lives have been changed,
our paths filled with sorrow.
Yet their memories embrace us
and our love lasts forever.
If we open our hearts,
their gifts shall unfold,
as we
forget them not.

This poem is also very special to me . It is imprinted in the hospital card where Alex's foot and hand prints are...

It is I whose kicks you will always remember,
I who gave you heartburn that a dragon would envy.
I who couldn't seem to tell time and got your
days and nights mixed up.
It is I who acknowledged your craving for peach ice cream
by knocking the cold bowl off your belly.
I who went shopping and helped you pick out
the "perfect" teddy bear for me.
I who liked to be cradled in your belly
and rocked off to dreamy slumber by the fire.
It is I who never had a doubt about your love,
It is I who was able to put a lifetime of joy into an instant.

You were a part of us and we knew a life was there.
We would wonder--a boy or girl? Would you have hair?
I reflect back on the memories of what I felt inside
Were you growing? Was that a aflutter? Were your eyes open wide?
Now you're here but not as we planned.
Our dreams have been shattered as we touch your little hand.
Your tiny feet, your sleeping face, we know you're in a special place.
Your peaceful look, your little nose. God cradles you in sweet repose.
But we have these gifts to hold close to heart.
And we will always have the memories of which you are a part.
You were a part of us and we knew a life was there.
We thank you for these simple treasures you have placed within our care.

I made birth announcement,
I used death announcements.
I bought clothes and bibs,
I used casked and plot.
I wanted congratulations and baby gifts,
I got sympathy cards and flowers.
I wanted a beautiful new life,
I got ugly death.
I wanted a new beginning,
I got an old ending.
I wanted mornings filled with joy,
I got mornings filled with mourning.

We thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
and the day before that, too.
We think of you in silence,
and often speak your name.
All we have are memories,
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
with which we'll never part.
God has you in his keeping,
we have you in our hearts.

A million times we'll miss you,
a million times we'll cry.
If loving could have saved you,
you never would have died.
In life we love you dearly,
In death we love you too.
In our hearts there is an empty place,
no one could fill but you.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you never went alone.
for part of us went with you,
when God took you home.
His garden must be pretty,
he only wants the best.
He put his loving arms around you
and said: "My child, come home to rest".

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
But I myself determine,
Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger
My faith seems faint indeed
But there are other swimmers
Who know just what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
When the waters are too swift
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift

Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past
By swimming in Hope's channels
I'll reach the shore at last

This last poem is also special to me, as it concluded somehow the worse year of my life.

Let me be sad today,
give me this day to mourn.
It's the date my little son died
and also the date he was born.
Let me think back to his birth,
the fear of viewing him, dead.
Memories of holding him close,
and cradling his little head.
Allow me to visit his grave,
to let a few balloons go.
To place flowers lovingly,
and trim the grass that does grow.
Allow me tears to cry,
love fills my heart to the brim.
Spilling it on those close by,
while always longing for him.

Tomorrow will come. The pain will ease.
But you will never forget your precious child.
It will take time and hope and love
for healing to take place.
Remember along the way, to accept
but not forget.

FastCounter by LinkExchange

<a href="http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?aid=399438&c=c&search=7237" target="_top"> <img src="//images.allposters.com/images/banners/affil_banner_red_2.gif" border="0"> </a><br> <font face="verdana, helvetica, arial" size="1"> <a href="http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?aid=399438&c=c&search=7237" target="_top"> Buy Posters and Prints at AllPosters.com!</a></font>