CHAPTER 3: Someone Cut the Lizard Down
 
 

Nimrodel sighed. “Team meeting everyone! Gather around. Someone cut the Lizard down and get her over here. We seem to be losing focus as well as respect from Pervy Manly-man Fanciers. We need a new strategy. Maybe we should hunt only one elf at a time? We can figure out how to divvy him up later.”

The hunters vetoed that one with a low grumbling and shaking of their heads.

“Appealing to poncy side is not working, how about hot, studly, "mussy" side?” Nim suggested. “Could be time to pull old ‘damsels in distress’ routine...”

“That should definitely attract our beautiful, blond, arrow shooting, knife wielding, very hot in action elf!” Mariana exclaimed.

“Just think,” Undomiel sighed. “We could be right there when he whips them out, his knives and arrows- pervy indeed!”

“Okay, new set of preparations.” Nimrodel started pacing. “Lizard, can you order suitably soft, yet sexy gowns for everyone? Mariana, well need full run of the shop. Tinuviel, Tinuvie, Undomiel, Tadan, see what you can do about dressing those hobbits as orcs so our peril is convincing.”

“It's not like they're getting tons of job offers right now, what with the ringwraiths taking all the security guard positions,” Lizard grumbled, images of pink-robed ringwraiths dancing through her head.

“El- restrain your manly-men, much as we'd love to have them run to our rescue, we ARE elf hunting!” Nim continued. “OK, everyone, into the bubble bath!”

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VSDPEF- Tadandader HalfElven
April 11th, late evening.

El Luitha has joined team, not quite sure why, but it is always nice to have more friends along. Oh! Now know why, Undomiel's ex! So very much like Luitha. But she has been helpful.

Am happy that Lizard has apologized, and has ordered purple boots for store. Do not care what others say, Elrond looks good in everything. And probably in nothing too, but we haven't caught him yet.

Went to check on my horses, only to come back to find elf-hunters falling out of trees and Hobbits everywhere. There were a few Elves, but they were laughing so hard outside the camp they couldn't go in. I was too busy trying to figure out what in Elbereth's name was going on to catch them.

Now we are preparing to lure Elves in to 'save' us. Not quite sure about plan, but if it gets me Elrond, then am happy.

Side note, bought more strawberry bubble bath today. Gave some to Luitha, and distributed rest among the other Elf hunters.

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VSDPEF- Lizard219
Day 2

With help from Tinuviel, have extracted self from elf trap. Am feeling slightly embarrassed. Have acknowledged request for gowns... I think I've got just the thing. Does color matter to anyone? Oh, I'll just bring a selection!

Have kicked Frodo and Sam out of nearby lake and filled it with strawberry bubble bath. Bath is very necessary, as I am very dirty from my many mishaps. Ick.

Emerged from bath feeling refreshed. Found ex-security guard ring wraith trying on my gown. Am not happy. Is all stretched out now. Kicked ring wraith in tail and ran to fetch a new one.

Brought purple boots for Tadandader's Elrond hunt. I think we're all ready... what now? Suspend ourselves over a pit, shrieking and kicking our feet? Could lose a slipper that way. Have bewildered hobbits in monster costumes tie us up? As for manly men, perhaps bringing in a TV from outside Middle Earth and turning on ESPN or some other sports channel will keep them busy. Just prop a keg of beer nearby. They will take care of themselves...

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VSDPEF-Undomiel9
April 11 -- evening

Today has been quite unsuccessful, as no elves were caught. And with the bright start, I thought for sure that we would catch at least one elf! Oh, well. There is always tomorrow.

Feel quite bad for Lizard, as she fell into the trap Tinuviel and I had set for Glorfindel. I suppose we should have warned her about that.

Preparing to do the damsel in distress bit that Nimrodel was talking about. Not quite sure how good I am at acting like I am in distress, but I think I have had enough practice with it (in all of my infinite grace) that I should be o.k. Not to mention, I get to wear a pretty, pretty blue dress from Lizard's shop. Happy!

O.K. Human-ex is definitely stalking . . . but definitely to get to his Elven admirer. Finally decided to get the two of them introduced . . . I left a crown on her pillow. With as much as that is on his mind, the two of them ought to bump into each other.

Luin and I tried to get hobbits into Orc costumes. They were not too pleased. One especially talkative one told me that he never wanted to see an orc again. Muttered something about Grishnakh and Ugluk. I have no idea.

Second Hobbit was a bit more cooperative. I just promised him a pint of my homemade Miruvoir after everything was over. (Hey, he doesn't need to know if I make it weak, does he?)

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VSDPEF- Lizard219
Day 2

Eeeek!

Left lake filled with bubble bath. Came back and found an elf lord or two frollicking!

LEGOLAS. ACK.

Dove into water with two more stun spells and a better aim (I've been practicing on the ring wraiths). Suddenly caught glimpse of elf's bare chest. Seized up, slipped under water. Elves somewhat concerned, almost came to my rescue (which means your plan could work, Nim!), but then boat drifted overheard... Was pulled up by someone else. Elves ran away.

Was Frodo. Looked perturbed about something... Kept checking what looked like a script and muttering, "You're not Sam." Finally, he said, "Oh, you'll do." Shoved script in hand.

Was a little irritated by request. Realized scene was being reshot and extended for DVD extras... Am not sure if I am convincing double for Sam. Ran through the lines in a confused babble- "I made a promise... a PROMISE, Mr. Frodo. Gandalf said 'Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee.' And I don't mean to. I don't mean to."- Somebody yelled cut and Frodo dumped me out of the boat and paddled off to argue with director. Am worried for real Sam. Is he under the bubbles somewhere? Managed to fish him out in passing. This mission is not turning out right at all... Elves supposed to be saving me, not me saving hobbits.

Am all wet and reeking of strawberries. A little bit goes a long way... Am going to change. Hmph.

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VSDPEF- Tadandader HalfElven
April 11th, very late at night.

Am feeling miffed. Thought I was supposed to be pretty bait, than others would help me get my Elf.

Oh well, Lizard got the boots in! Trying out idea used by others. Suspending boots over carefully covered pit might work. The hard part is digging the pit without the Elves noticing. Already Glorfindel walked by when I was working on my first one. He just looked at me kinda funny and waked off, rubbing his back. Maybe he got hurt? How does an Elf get hurt? Must remember to ask the others.

Have been stuffing hobbits into Orc costumes. They seem a bit short to me. Must ask others if elves would notice that the 'Orcs' are riduculously short.

Need to cheer up. Have grabbed bottle of Miruvoir, and am waiting by my new trap. Here, Elfy, elfy, elfy.

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VSDPEF- Nimrodel
Day 2

Practicing looking weak and helpless in woods when heard big splash and sudden shrieking. Turned toward lake to see what elf hunters were up to THIS time *sigh* when caught sight of naked, wet, blond elf....
must focus....
where is that lasso....?
ooohhh my....
where are those cushions......?
*thud*

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VSDPEF- Tinuviel80
Very late April night... Day 2:

Caught a glimps of a naked blonde elf running through the forest. Must focus..*faints on top of Nimrodel. Be out cold til morning...*

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Tadan bent down setting up a rope trap on the ground when she suddenly heard shrieking and several thuds in the distance. She looked up just in time to see a  blonde Elf streaking past her. He stopped to check out her purple boots dangling in the air before disappearing into the trees.

"What the..."

Tadan walked over to find Nimrodel and Tinuviel in a heap, and a soaking wet and hyperventilating Lizard.

"Um, what happened?"

Lizard was just about to answer when a louder thud came from behind.

"My trap!" Tadan hollered in joy, running back to her trap and finding that it had caught…

An old guy in a pointy hat who kept muttering to himself, “I knew Elrond was up to something when he asked me to pick up purple boots for him. I knew it!” The old man finally noticed Tadan standing there. “Hey, can you help me out?” he asked.

"Um, yes, as long as you don't get Elrond his boots.” Tadan replied. “He has to get them himself!"

The old man in the pointy hat agreed, and Tadan helped him down, happy now that she knew Elrond did want the boots.

"Oh no! I forgot about my friends!" Tadan slaped her forehead and raced back to help rouse Undomiel and Tinuviel.

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VSDPEF- Lizard219
Day 2

Am calming down gradually. Am trying to rouse Nimrodel and Tinuviel without looking guilty... When I was stumbling up the bank, I think I stepped on one of them... Pretending not to notice foot print on side of Tinuviel's cheek. Ooops. Sorry. *fighting a blush*

This is not going well. On the bright side, Tadandader is closer to catching Elrond. At least one of us should have an elf... Am preferring it to be with Legolas, but will not complain. Will not be unsportsman-like. Will not step on Tinuviel again, either... Oops. All right, must wake up comatose elf-fanciers. Am too clumsy for people to be on floor. Still reeling from near-Elf encounter…

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“Is there a drool cup in the house? Anyone?” Lizard looked desperate.

“Here Lizard.” Tadan handed her a drool cup in sympathy. “But you could always use the oddly strawberry scented lake over there. And here.” Tadan gave her a compact as well. “That should hide the footprint. Don't worry, I won't tell.”

Lizard looked furtively around and thanked Tadan, then bent down to touch up the footprint on comatose Tinuviel’s cheek, muttering, “She'll never know...”

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VSDPEF- Lizard219
Day 2

Have picked up drool cup now. Sigh. Some people breathe into a paper bag to calm down. I gurgle into a drool cup. Such is the life of a pervy elf fancier...

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VSDPEF- Undomiel9
April 11- VERY late

Was walking through the woods, hoping to spot an Elf, when I heard shrieking from camp. Came into camp from the south side, and found Nimrodel, Tinuviel, and Lizard all piled up, looking peacefully asleep. Very confused, though, as there appeared to be signs of someone running from the lake.

Went to investigate. As I was looking at the footprints, the mouthy hobbit came over and wanted to talk. He took off the ridiculous Orc head we had had on him and sat down. Had quite an interesting discussion with him. Has lots of stories about Steward Boromir that are really quite interesting. Apparently he knows his father too.

Was in the middle of listening to hobbit's story about the Witch King when Tadandader came running over, yelling something about the others. Stood up so fast that the hem of my dress caught on my boot, and fell backwards. No real harm done, as I am still clean and don't have to wash anything, but am beginning to wonder if I will ever get this right.

Hobbit laughed quite a bit, but he and Tadandader actually helped me up. Lizard woke up soon after, and stepped on Tinuviel accidentally. Maybe I'm not the only one.

Decided that it is really too late to be doing any elf-hunting right now, and as the others are already asleep, turned in for the night.

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VSDPEF- Saffron Piskie
Day 3

Arghhh, got lost in forest again, cannot keep up with other Elf Hunters. Did eventually locate them all again in piles and heaps; reckon too much homebrew Miruvoir has been consumed, though they say naked Elves running through forest is the reason. Not fair, I was out in forest all last night and saw non of this! Must watch out for all of Tadandader's Elrond traps, apparently there are quite a few of them. Was issued with a purple cloak, hmmm, must be new fashion promotion thing going on from Lizard's Banana Republic. Managed to persuade Steward Boromir to act as sword swinging protector, seemed quite keen on the idea as not getting much action over at the Manley Men threads. Seems there are lots of hobbits running around too; where did they come from?

And what's this, Legolas has been spotted. Lizard even made contact with said Elf but did not catch him????? Hmmmm, Legolas must be trickier than we first thought. Clearly strawberry shampoo idea not working at all. Must have a word with Cupid, see if I can borrow his bow and arrow, maybe I can just shoot Legolas.

Hobbits loaned me teapot, but wouldn't handover the teabags .... rotten nasssssty little hobbitsessss, luckily friendly Mounty wandering through forest stopped and taught me how to make Bark tea. Not as nice but ok in a pinch.

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VSDPEF-Nimrodel
April 12 - morning

Ack. Woke up on forest floor spooning with Tinuviel. *sigh* Most action either of us has had so far. Steward Boromir starting to look better and better...What happened last night? Seem to remember splashing, shrieking and somebody yelling "Cut!" Tinuviel looks like she's been brawling...is that a footprint on her cheek?! Giant spider trying to wrap me in sticky thread. Stabbed it with hairpin - very cranky this morning, not in mood to cavort with forest creatures. Must go meet up with other elf hunters to discuss plans. Feeling slightly guilty about the "pretty bait" thing. Think I will hit Elrond over the head with those purple boots and drag his butt back to Tadandader- at least somebody will get some - hmph!

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VSDPMF- El luitha uren
April 12- morning

Had v. strange night. Went to bed after long day. Saw crown on pillow. Went to go pick it up, saw shadow in corner of room, turned to run away. Fell down. Held onto crown, tried to get up and run away, but accosted by some strange man screaming "It should be mine! Give it to me!" Started dragging me across floor in attempt to get crown. Hit stupid man over the head with it, knocked him out. Steward Boromir. Muttered "Gondor needs no king" before passing out completely. Dumped him outside in forest. Hope he freezes. Stupid man.

Am now frazzled and hair is poofing. Going to use some of Tadan's bubble bath. Hope Ranger comes by. Heard he was looking for a crown...

Elf-hunters still having hard time, getting caught in each others traps. Somebody is going to break something if this happens again. Handed out mirrors to every hunter. Hope they keep them nearby and use them to look at reflection of elves instead of elves themselves. Won't hit them so hard that way.

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VSDPEF- Undomiel9
April 12 -- Morning

Woke up this morning to find Nimrodel wandering around camp. She doesn't look too happy. I can't say that I blame her, what with having to sleep on the ground all night. Ick! Grass is nice at times, but please. I suppose we could have taken them to their tents last night while they were passed out so they could have slept better. Oh, well. Nothing we can do now. Just found a new mirror by my things. Ah, yes. El luitha, the kind admirer of the manly men, gave them to us. Yea!

Tinuviel doesn't look too good . . . she has a big bruise . . . no, wait, that is just where Lizard accidentally stepped on her. Boy am I glad it wasn't me for once.

Sounds of screaming and yelling . . . in Elvish. It sounds like it's coming from near El Luitha's tent.

Went to go check the trap Tinuviel and I set for Glorfindel. I fear our new guard, Steward Boromir, was taken instead of the elf. Said something about looking for royal jewelry. I have no idea. Felt really bad, as apparently Glorfindel had stood and laughed at him for quite some time. I helped him down, though. I would have to agree with Nimrodel; Boromir is looking better every day.

Have decided to make breakfast for the Elf-Hunters and others in camp. Need lots of food, as Hobbits say they are extremely hungry. Waiting for the others to finally wake up. Hopefully today will be better.

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Tinuviel woke up slowly and sat up in panic when she realized she wass completely alone in the middle of the forest.

“Uh, why am I wearing a purple dress? Purple...hmm...What are all these mirrors for, and what's reeking of strawberries!? Ow! Why is my cheek so sore...” She picks up one of the mirrors. “Did someone step on me...twice?! Where is anybody anyway? Why do I get the feeling I'm being used for something...Hello? Guys? HELP!!”

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VSDPEF- Undomiel9
April 12 - midmorning

Came back to camp after finding Steward Boromir, to find Tinuviel sitting all by herself, looking very worried. Apparently she thought that she was lost or something; no one else was at the camp. Poor thing.

Working on that breakfast. Hopefully that will cheer everyone up. Hobbits keep grumbling something about lembas not being filling enough. Whatever. See if they ever get any more homemade Miruvoir!

And what is that smell? Strawberries? Weird.

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VSDPEF- Nimrodel
April 12- mid-morning

Trying to walk backwards through forest while using rear view mirror from El. Will not be stupefied again! WILL catch my elf!
WILL...Ooops....*thud*
Seemed to have fallen over unconscious manly-man...
Well helloooo, How you doin'?
Decide to dally with manly-man and work off pent up elf frustration.
Maybe elves will get jealous and realize who they are dealing with.....
The HOTTEST pervy elf fanciers around!!
Huh. Would serve them right....
GO US!

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VSDPEF- Tadandader HalfElven
April 12th, late morning

Am happy today. Nimrodel has offered to help catch Elrond today. Go Us! Of course, right now she is distracted by a Manly Man, but oh well. At least she'll help.

Have check my traps. No Elrond, but three hobbits, one dwarf, and Elladan. Have freed Hobbits and Dwarf, am keeping Elladan there just in case one of our group wants him. Or if I get tired of waiting around for his dad. Funny, Elladan was in pit with the purple boots suspended over them. Maybe Elrond knows about trap?

V. Nice of Luitha to hand out mirrors to the Elf-lovers. Can now see all four directions at once. Caught Glorfindel sneaking up behind me, but not soon enough. Am now stuck in one of my own traps. How embarrassing. Perhaps if I yell loud enough...no, that could be even worse. Will wait and hope that others soon find me.

Now am sad. Smell a delicious breakfast, but am stuck. Sick of Glorfindel. Might just have to steal Asfaloth. Would be fitting revenge.

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VSDPEF- Saffron Piskie
Day 3

Oh Rats! Have fallen down one of Tadandader's traps. Very deep trap, tried scrabbling way out but no luck. Pass me down a bottle of strawberry shampoo in a bucket or the Precious gets it (oops wrong movie)! Oh dear, shall have to wait until other Elf-Hunters find me but they are all off running around the forest looking for Elves, flirting with Boromir and discussing latest fashions at Lizard's store. Wonder how often Tadandader checks her traps .... I could be here for days and not a tea-bag in sight.

Ooh, I hope they come soon, very dark down here ... think I am sharing hole with big spider as can see eight shiny eyes blinking at me from far corner of hole.
Pleassssssse come quickly somebody!

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VSDPEF- Undomiel9
April 12 -- afternoon

Burnt breakfast, as Glorfindel went running by, and none of us were prepared. Tinuviel and I both passed out . . . left the kettle on the fire. You know the rest.

Hobbits and Steward Boromir managed to wake us up after a while. Looked at us quite strangely.

Hobbits very intrigued by our reactions to Glorfindel. Kept asking why we just fainted like that. We explained, and they became even more curious. Suspect they are up to something, as I saw the younger one standing on the talkative one's shoulders, trying to shoot a bow and arrow. Have no idea what is up, but I am watching them.

Finally found out the names of the hobbits . . . the younger one says his name is Pippin, and the talkative one from last night says his name is Merry. Interesting names. Very un-elflike. Have decided to call them Nurhoth (for Pippin) and Vardaloth (for Merry) instead . . . much more suitable elven names.

Apparently now Elladan has shown up. I know I should be O.K. with this, as he is my brother and all, but please. I lived in that house with all men for such a long time . . . I was starting to get sick of the testosterone. Can't a girl have her own space for once.

I thought I heard something in one of Tadandader's traps . . . turned out to be Saffron . . . she had fallen in a while ago. Poor thing. Decided to check some of the other ones, to make sure that none of the other elf hunters were in the same situation. Found Tadandader, curled up in one of her own traps. Geez. I am beginning to think that this mission is futile. But will not give up.

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Mariana wandered the forest, completely lost. She had been tracking two gorgeous elves, but lost them about the same time she had lost herself.

“I wonder if they know I own the elven beauty salon,” she muttered to herself, piling wood and dry brush together to make a fire. A flash of yellow caught her eye and she looked up to see Glorfindel streaking by. She wass so stressed she didn't even bother getting up to follow.

Finally Mariana got a fire started, thanking Elbereth and wondering how she did it without her Girl Scout handbook. She pulled out an extra large mirror and began fanning the fire to form a smoke signal.

HELP!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!

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VSDPEF- Tinuviel80
Day 3

Undomiel and I spent the majority of the morning passed out from an unexpected Glorfindel encounter. You know the rest.

When came to, found Undomiel about to let Tadandader out of one of her own traps. Told her to wait a second. Interrogated Tadandader if she knew who had stepped on my face repeatedly last night. Said she didn't know anything. Perhaps her memory had been scrambled from hanging upside down for some time. Still suspicious, as coverup used on me is her exact skin tone.

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VSDPEF- Tadandader HalfElven
April 12th, midafternoon

Am out of trap! Undomiel came by and released me! After Tinuviel came and interrogated me. Except for a streaking blonde Elf, I don't remember last night at all. Hmmm. Can't find my compact.

On other note, saw smoke signals in sky and went to help, hoping it was Elrond. No such luck, but I brought our lost Marina back to camp.

Am filling some of my traps in, as it seems that I wasn't the only elf-hunter caught by my snares. Saffron has been glaring at me all day. It was an accident! Oh well. I tied Elladan up and left him on her sleeping bag. I hope that make up for it.

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VSDPEF- MarianaMellon
April 12th - afternoon

YAY!!! Tadandader came and rescued me. She didn't seem too happy though. She mumbled words I could not understand, but I am quite sure I heard Elrond among all those words...

No success until now. I couldn't catch any elves and my salon is probably taken over by now.

Now, where are the elves?

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VSDPEF- Nimrodel
Day 3

Arrived back at camp to find no breakfast, but many tired, gibbering elf hunters. Too bad, worked up quite an appetite with manly-man....kept assuring me I was "still the prettiest" I am so easy... (Did I say that out loud?!)

Keep tripping over hobbits in capri pants, and ringwraiths in pink cloaks. Smell of strawberry starting to make me nauseous...

Decided to check trap baited with name of top Hollywood plastic surgeon.

Found Haldir. Figures.

Let him go as thought of hearing "You have entered the realm of the Crocodile Hunter, big fella" complete turn off.

On the plus side, many Glorfindel sightings, think he may be coming around....

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VSDPEF- tinuvie1
Day 3

Decided not to make anymore tree traps, as very incompetent in that matter. Am better at chemistry, so decided to use chloroform to put elves to sleep. Hid behind rock to wait for elves.
5hrs later...
Am getting very, VERY bored.
12hrs later...
Oh,my gosh. Saw an elf. Right in front of me. Automatic reaction was to bring hand in front of my face to muffle gasp. Unfortunately, hand contained chloroform compress and I fell asleep. Just woke up with big headache. Hmp. Elves like wine, don't they? Maybe I could put sleep chemical in it...
Oh well. Decided to nurse headache first and to get rid of stupid chloroform.

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VSDPMF- El luitha uren
April 12-early afternoon

Hmm... Elf-hunters still having problems. Thinking I need to take Asfaloth on a round of the premises and see who's still stuck in a trap. Hunters need big meeting and figure out who's doing what.

Tadan threatened to take Asfaloth. Thought she was my friend. *pout* What'd I do?!

Am in v. cranky mood as I got no sleep last night. Incident with Boromir v. disturbing. Starting to see shadows everywhere. Thinking something is lurking in bushes. Are those elves?

On plus side, saw glimpse of manly man Ranger while riding through the forest. Fell right off Asfaloth. Thinking I need to get a mirror for myself.

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VSDPEF- Tadandader HalfElven
April 12th, still afternoon

Not quite sure who Nimrodel is trying to catch with her traps, after all, Legolas already think's he's the prettiest, and Elrond and Glorfindel *know* they're hot. Maybe Gildor or Cirdan? Then she let Haldir go. I'm pretty sure there must be someone here who wanted Haldir? No? Oh, never mind. No one wants Haldir. I feel sorry for the poor Elf.

Am now going to visit Lizard's store to check if anyone has tried to buy purple boots yet.

Haven't heard from Saffron if she accepted my apology yet. Getting a little nervous, as I don't like people glaring at me.

I'll keep my eyes open for any Elves on the way over.

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VSDPMF- El luitha uren
April 12- afternoon

AMBUSH!

Was in v. bad mood as I got no sleep last night. Incident with Boromir v. disturbing. Hunt not going well. Silly elf-lovers always getting caught in traps. Thinking I need to take Asfaloth and go check on them fairly often.

Everyone was sitting around Lizard's store eating lunch. Hunters all in bad moods too. Then elves came tearing out of woods and running in circles around camp, then ran away and headed for the hills. Hunters all keeled over within seconds- I TOLD them to use the mirrors! Incident v. amusing actually. Am going to spend hours cleaning up resultant mass amounts of drool. Didn't know it was possible to drool that much in a few seconds.

Grabbed Asfaloth as soon as elves ran off and gave chase. Store was ransacked, poor Lizard is going to have to resupply again. Saw Legolas running off in pink dress and purple boots with MY strawberry bubble bath. Thought stupid elf had more fashion sense than that. Lost him though. Don't understand how elf in pink dress reeking of strawberries can disappear so quickly. Was that a dwarf running after him? In frilly blue dress and diamond clips in his hair? Never liked dwarves much.

Saw Elrond then and abandoned Legolas chase. Jumped off Asfaloth to continue on foot. Elf wearing purple cloak- is that Tadan's? She'll like that. Got so close to catching Elrond. Was just readying rope to snare him when stepped in another rope laying on ground. Trap layed by hunters to catch elves. Well it caught an elf. A now v. ticked off elf.

Am now hanging upside down by foot from tree. V. ticked off at stupid elf-hunters. Try to catch one for them and end up dangling like stupid chicken. Hunters probably still unconscious around store. Hope Ranger comes around soon... Help would be nice...
 
 
 
 

El Luitha 'uren
June 2002
Elluitha@rivendell.zzn.com