Every time that Max has been in a nursing home I have felt haunted, have heard his sounds still in the house and have often been crippled by feelings of guilt.
When Max has had to go to a nursing home it was a medical condition that precipitated the move. So, while he was away I worked with the staff to get him better and worked at home so that when he got better I could bring him home.
Ask Aunt Annie has advice on living with Alzheimer's and being a caregiver
The Ask Annie Archive has answers and practical caregiving tips.
The Buddy Plan pairs caregivers for one-on-one friendships with people who have been there.
Read about nursing homes and how to make a safe transition for your loved one.
Read about coming home from a nursing home and how to plan to bring your loved one home.
Check out some of the nutrients, vitamins and supplements that we have tried and what to ask your medical team.
Read about where to find resources and how to decide what you need.
Read about Alzheimer's Disease and its stages in normal people-talk.
Read about the warning signs for Alzheimer's Disease.
How your family can live with Alzheimer's Disease.
How our family has lived with Alzheimer's Disease.
How home health care professionals can help your family live with Alzheimer's Disease at home.
Advice for Caregivers & Families
The truth is that most of us who have been caregivers came into it with no experience and no training and it is pretty incredible that we and our loved ones survive at all.
I have found that when Max has gone to a nursing home the professionals there have gotten himinto a routine and matched the care he needed with the practical medical resources available. I watched closely, participated when I was able and learned how to change things at home to make it easier to care for him there.
His mind is never going to repair but it has always been the physical disabilities that were associated with the disease that necessitated the move to the nursing home. A physical disability can be overcome with auxilliary aids and good sense. Watch how the people at the nursing home provide for the daily care needs of your loved one and see if you can't copy that at home.
Once a person has been in a nursing home the amount of help that Medicare and other resources provides will change. Normally you can get lots more help once you bring someone home and sometimes that help will last long enough to get you up to speed. Federal regulations keep changing so that is something to talk to your social worker and your network of friends and helpers about.
Mobility impairments are a big obstacle to providing safe care at home. Often a person with marked dementia will have an increased risk of falling and that can translate into breaking bones and worse. Nursing homes use "geri-chairs" to combat this and we have tried that effectively at home.
Walk through your house with an eye to the traffic patterns that your loved one follows and clear away obstacles, furniture that is in the way and such. Store things that increase your workload and interfere with wheelchair travel. Draw up a daily plan that covers their care needs and allows for pleasant time for you both. Most of all, plan to reduce stress and ask for help.
Talk to professional home caregivers about how to make your home an easier and safer place for your loved one. If the transition doesn't work they can always go back to a nursing home but you will know that you tried. Please e-mail us if you have more questions or e-mail Ask Aunt Annie.
