INTRODUCTION
MY NAME IS SABINE AND I WAS BORN OCTOBER 1, 1960 IN AUGSBURG, WEST GERMANY. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT MY START IN LIFE WAS NOT VERY WELCOMING FOR THE LONGEST. MY FIRST 2 YEARS OF MY LIFE LEFT A LOT TO BE DESIRED, BUT MY OVERALL CHILDHOOD WAS GOOD, CONSIDERING ALL THINGS. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO USE MY SITE TO BEMOAN MY LIFE UP TO THIS POINT, BUT IT IS SAFE TO SAY THAT MY LIFE MATCHED MOST OF THE HORROR STORIES THAT PEOPLE READ ABOUT IN THE PAPER AND MAKES THEM SAY: " I AM GLAD THAT THIS IS NOT ME!"
HOWEVER, IT TOOK ME ALL MY LIFE TO THIS POINT IN TIME TO UNDERSTAND THAT, DESPITE ALL THE OBSTACLES AND HURT AND PAIN, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL AND PHYSICAL, I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!
TO ME THIS IS THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE, ALL THE PREVIOUS SUFFERING AND ENDURING HAVE BROUGHT ME TO THIS, THE ULTIMATE POINT: I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AND ACCEPT MYSELF FOR THE PERSON THAT I AM.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAY THAT I FIRST FELT THIS WAY TRULY AND DEEPLY. BY ALL ACCOUNTS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DAY OF MISERY AND TEARS, BUT YET AS I SAT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE AND PONDERED MY FUTURE, I FELT REALLY LIGHT HEARTED AND PEACEFUL, I WAS IN LOVE AND FOR THE LONGEST I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY. AT THAT TIME , MY HUSBAND HAD MADE OFF, I HAD 3 KIDS AND A JOB THAT ONLY PAID ABOUT $ 300.00 A MONTH AND I HAD TO APPLY FOR WELFARE, SO WHY DID I FEEL THE WAY THAT I DID???????????????
FINALLY, AS I EXPLORED THIS "WEIRD" CIRCUMSTANCE, IT DAWNED ON ME: I WAS IN LOVE WITH ME, MYSELF AND I. AND AS TIME WENT ON, EVENTHOUGH THINGS DID NOT GET EASIER FOR THE LONGEST, I FOUND THAT WITH THIS LOVE FOR MYSELF INSIDE OF ME, THAT I HAD AN UMLIMITED SUPPLY OF STRENGTH AND POWER TO SUSTAIN ME.
ALONG WITH THIS LOVE FOR MYSELF CAME THE UNDERSTANDING THAT I HAD NO NEED OF SOCIAL OR FAMILY APPROVAL, THAT THE ONLY THING THAT WAS IMPORTANT WAS THAT I APPROVED OF MYSELF( WHICH HELPED GREATLY IN TELLING THE ABSENT HUBBY TO TAKE A LONG LEAP OF A SHORT BRIGDE, RATHER THAN WAITING TILL HE WAS DONE WITH HIS MID LIFE CRISIS).
IT HAS BEEN SOME 8 YEARS OF TEARS, FEARS AND MATURING SINCE THAT WONDERFUL DISCOVERY AND NOW LOOKING BACK, WHILE I COULD HAVE DONE WITH OUT THE PAIN ( WHO'S A SADIST????), I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING, SINCE IT RESULTED IN A BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, SMART AND LOVING AND ALL ACCEPTING PERSON:
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, I HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND I AM SATISFIED WITH WHO I HAVE BECOME TO THIS POINT IN LIFE, BUT THE JOURNEY IS NOT OVER, NOT BY A LONG SHOT AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO TRAVELLING THE ROAD THAT IS LESS TRAVELLED AND HAS OBSTACLES ON IT, FOR I KNOW NOW THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT I CANNOT OVERCOME AND TRIUMPH OVER WITH THE HELP OF MY SPIRIT AND MY BELIEFS.
I WILL NEVER EVER BE A VICTIM AGAIN, ONLY A SURVIVOR. EVEN IF IT SEEMS THAT I MAY NOT BE IN CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION, I AM IN CONTROL AS TO HOW I WILL DEAL WITH IT AND WHAT I WILL MAKE OF IT!
THESE ARE ALSO THE LESSONS THAT I TRY TO IMPART TO MY CHILDREN, OF COURSE THEY HAVE TO MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES IN ORDER TO LEARN, HOWEVER THEY ARE SECURE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT REGARDLESS OF WHAT I WILL ALWAYS AND UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE THEM.
ANY WAY, LET'S MOVE ON TO NICER THINGS IN MY LIFE:
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