All I need to know about life I learned from my

Curiosity never killed anything, except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life; one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the drapes are there.
If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over something very expensive.
When eating out, think nothing of sending back your meal as many times as possible.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
Find your place in the sun, especially if it happens to be that nice pile of warm, fresh laundry.
Always give generously - a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, ''I care.''
When you go out in the world,remember that being placed on a pedestal is a RIGHT, not a privilege!

Wake Up Felines, Everywhere!

If you're like most cats, you wander through life using only a fraction of your faculties. A typical wasted day looks something like this.
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sleeping - 10 hours
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waking so you can nod off again - ½ hour
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jumping onto people's lap - ½ hour
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dozing on lap, purring - 1 hour
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dozing on lap, purring while smurgling - ½ hour
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being pushed off lap - ½ hour
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jumping back on lap - ½ hour
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waiting to be let out - 1 hour
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waiting to be let in - 1 hour
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hanging around to be fed - 1 hour
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hanging around to show that you wouldn't eat THAT
if it was the last food in the world - 2 hours
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eating the food - ½ hour
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washing - 1 hour
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exercising your claws on the upholstery or curtains - ½ hour
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washing fur you've only just cleaned - 1 hour
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exercising claws on chairs - ½ hour
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watching television - 1 hour
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watching birds - 1 hour

How To Choose Your Owner

There are many people out there just waiting to pamper us with gourmet food, indoor sanitation and professional medical care. So why not take advantage of this? The first step towards achieving your goal is to find a suitable home. Memorise these easy steps.

For Kittens...
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Tangle yourself in a ball of wool.
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Fall over your own paws.
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Play with your tail.
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Purr!

For Older Cats...
 This task may seem a little more difficult. However, do not despair. Remember. Many strays manage to find new people if they keep their wits about them. First, find a suitable prospect and REMEMBER - keep yourself clean and neat. Remember these simple rules:

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Look friendly.
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Keep your whiskers curling forward, don't lash your tail and don't flatten your ears - it makes you look mean.
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Let them make the first move.
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Sit with big sad eyes, staring hopefully upward. Cry pathetically, but don't yowl!
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Be nice to all people, even if they do smell bad - purr as soon as you are stroked and half close your eyes in apparent ecstasy. If they stop stroking you and turn away, open your eyes and mew again, but do not run after them. You don't want to appear insecure.

The Human Language

People speech is a saddening din of hollering and hooting and none of us likes to listen to it for long. If you can stand the strain, learning a few key phrases can be well worth your while.
Here are examples:

''breakfast; lunch; dinner; milk; here kitty-kitty; come and get it''
After waiting a few minutes to emphasise your boredom you may wander idly over to your bowl. Be sure to sniff cautiously, and glare at your people before you condescend to nibble anything offered.

''Damned cat; stop that; get down; hey you cut it out''
If the voice is a safe distance away, pause and look up with a puzzled expression. If the person is close enough to grab you - run for it!

''Flea powder; ear drops; eye drops; pills; rectal thermometer; antibiotics''
Watch out for sudden attempts to put things that feel, taste or smell disgusting in your ears, eyes, fur, mouth and elsewhere. If you look miserable enough afterwards, they'll probably reward you with some sort of tasty morsel.

Please check out these other pages before you leave.
Gus - our domineering but loveable Burmese
Kostya - our gentle natured Russian Blue
Our People's Page - read all about our people

Last updated: April 2009

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