Valentine's Day	What a horrible holiday Valentine's Day is. I felt festive so I whipped up a page for all of you to read. It contains a religious story, a hard hat that looks like the American flag, and a picture of Bob Saget.
Attack of the Ladybugs	They're everywhere. They hang around outside your house like they own it. They rape your wife and kill your children. Who am I talking about? No, not clowns. I'm talking about ladybugs. You hate them. I hate them. Now read about them before I break something.
Sweetest Day	Sweetest Day is like the unwanted sequel to Valentine's Day. As if guys weren't expected to buy girls enough stuff already, the dickheads at Hallmark or Hell or wherever have decided that they should give America one more holiday designed to make dating people broke and single people pissed.
The WLW page	This page details all the times the inept dickheads who run my school have fucked up. It's small now, but it'll get larger every time a kid is ordered to miss a day of school for skipping class.
Memorial Day	Let's hear it for the military force of Florida! Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the dead or dying veterans in America's fantastic Retirement Castle to the south. So read about it or wake up with some dead animal in your bed. Because Mafia death threats are fun.