By Reverend Gerald Tahlequah Wadsworth
Where Does Anger Originate?
As we all honestly examine our feelings, we will notice a pattern that
develops from hurt; which later results into anger.
To gain control of our anger, we must understand how to manage the hurt
hiding behind the anger. The average individual, is quite unaware how much
more they are hurting; than they are angery. The following concept describes
the connection between (1. Hurting - (2. Anger - (3. Bitterness
and can be understood in these three simple stages.
Stage One:
Hurtful Situation
In examination of your feelings, you will notice that
the first stage begins
with some type of "hurtful situation". It could be an emotional
comment, directed at you by someone you admire and love.
Perhaps your spouse has said or done somthing that has hurt you. The Hurt you
are feeling, quickly turns into anger. At this Moment, the process can
be stopped by dealing with the "Hurt" and going through the process of
forgivness. However, the process of forgivness; is rarley achieved.
If at all possible, avoid arguemnts all together. I believe entirely in the
wisdom of the scripture found in Titus 3:9. ; which reads::
"But avoid foolish questions, and genealolgies, and contentions, and strivings
about the law ; for they are unprofitable and vain."
And Most Certainly, do not get caught up in other individuals reminding you of
all of the error in your life. That is destruction from the accuser of the
bretheren. God was very explicit when he condmned such verbal abuse, as recorded in
Isaiah 43:18.
Remember Not the former things, neither consider the things of old.
Keeping in mind also that according to 1st Corrinthians chapter 6; "There is no
way that ( Revilers, Nor Extortioners ) can Inherit the Kingdom of God!
Stage Two:
Anger
In Stage Two, expressing "Anger" in a healthy way would be helpful; however
many people handle their anger sinfully. With Screaming, Raging, or perhaps
even Revenge are all unhealthy and sinfull methods to resolve anger
which will never help you when you are hurting on the inside.
When anger is fed enough over a period of time and persists, then eventually
the unfortunate and destructive emotion of bitterness develops;
thus placing us into the Third Stage of Anger named "Bitterness".
Stage Three:
Bitterness
Depression --> Psycosomatic or
Psychoenic Illness --> Rage --> Destructive Behavior
Bitterness is a very destructive emotion. Bitterness not only effects us
personally, but it also fogs our vision of how we see our dearest relationships
giving us a bitter soul and confusion in those same relationships.
When the Third Stage of "Bitterness" is finally reached, Your emotions will
carry you into one of four different ways:
Depression,
Psychosomatic illness,
Rage, or
Destructive Behavior.
Depression
One of the triggers for "Depression" has always been directly related to -
unexpressed, or repressed anger. Some Counselors and Therapists, like to use
the phrase {Anger Turned Inwards} to describe "Depression".
Psychosomatic illness
Psychosomatic illness is caused by the interactions
of both Physical and Psychological symptoms.
Example:
Many people are unaware that ulcers, hypertension ( high blood pressure)
and
meno-pause ( both male & female ) are exacerbated by Psychological stress.
Bitterness can also turn into a Psychlogical condition, which is refered to as { Psychogenic illness }.
Generally, if a child is shut out, set aside, or ignored for
an example of abuse. Or it could be a child that
experinces abuse in another aspect completely, yet is affected seriously emotionally.
The emotion is repressed over a very long period of time perhaps.
In-fact time lengths can go all of the
way through Maturation, into Adult Hood until the
repressed feelings finally explode. As a result, somthing Physical
takes place in action of the repressed emotions.
Please; do not go out of your way to provoke anger in an individual.
Ephesian 6: and 4 reads::
"And Ye fathers, Provoke not your children to wrath:
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Rage
Proverbs 29:11 states that " a fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control."
Individuals who / Verbally / and - or / Physically / abuse their
victims are known as "Ragers."
Inconsistency, is also an atribute of a verbal abuser.
We read in James chapter 4::
8.) But the tounge can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9.) Therewith bless we God even the Father; and therewith
curse men, which are made after the similtude of God.
10.) Out of the same mouth procedeth blessing and cursing. My bretheren,
these things ought not so to be.
{ this scripture reveals the heart of a verbal abuser and the
outward evidence of inconsistancy}
Let us not forget what the Apostle Paul wrote about
filthy language as well.
Paul wrote::
"Let no filthy communication procede out of your mouth."
"but that which is good to the use of edifying,
that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
Destructive Behavior
Destructive behavior is the result of anger, which was ever
processed and dealt with properly.
Deep - Seated Hurt Results in, Individuals destroying themselves in suicide,
or injuring others, drugs / alcohol, and with all types of violence.
Here is how to properly resolve the "Hurt"
(1. Acknowledge your hurt.
Accept the very fact that someone has harmed you. We must accept that we
have been harmed in some manner and be honest with ourselves about the pain.
(2. Grieve The Pain
Talk to a good Friend or a Competent and Ethical Counseler about how this pain
has hurt you so very deeply. Many people can't talk to their Mother
or Father or various reasons when these issues arise. Quite a great
number of us understand the meaning of the scripture that reads," God Is The Father To The Fatherless."
If at all possible, write or talk with the person who injured you so. Remember
this, The Bible also says that " a wise man over looks an insult and that a fool shows his annoyance at once."
Caution: Do not involve yourself with every Cofrontation,
rather choose your battle ground carefully.
(3. Forgive the offender and truly release the entire situation
Many can achieve the first two stages, but
the third.....they get caught in. Note: Forgivness Is Very Difficult!
In fact I can't think of any one individual
who truly deserves Forgivness. Forgivness is a "Gift" . It is granted unto to us all.
There is nothing we can do on our own merit to gain it.
That my friends is why Jesus Christ Died For Us All. He was the Sacrifice,
which made the Forgivness of All Sin Possible for those who accept Him as Their Only Lord and Savior.
Forgivness will release you from the harsh cycle of "Anger and Pain."
Just exactly like you are released from the bondage of sin.
There truly is Freedom in releasing others
and declairing them forgiven. Thus you can discover your anger released and that awful,
ugly burden; taken out of your heart.
"Let all Bitterness, and Wrath, and Anger, and Clamour,
and Evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4: 31, & 32
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