Marriage is an honorale estate, istituted by God in the time of creation for the well-being of man and womankind. It is safeguarded by the laws of Moses. According to Mosaic Law, a marriage is constimated three ways. (1. Physically (2. Emotionally (3. Spiritually.
Mariage is also affirmed by the words of the Prophets, and hallowed by the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ. Marriage is a union close and enduring, a relationship in which a man and a woman forsake all others to become one flesh.
This abiding union illistrates the Holy relationship between Christ and his Church. Marriage is therefore not to be entered into by any lightly, but reverently, soberly, and in the fear of God.
When the flesh is torn, the flesh feels pain. This is one reason why divorce is so very painful and recovery takes so very long in most cases. When a divorce takes place in a relationship, there is an absolute tearing because the one flesh person that has come together through marriage, is being torn apart. The result is grief, anxiety, lack of self worth and often deep guilt and remorse as well as deep sorrow. There is no quick answer for all of this other than the long process of healing and of course true prayer. I can only recomend God in this situation, for I know he is a God of restoration.
Many times also, a deep embeded anger can set in; due to a seperation or divorce.
I might recomend visiting
The Room For The Angry.
I can asure you that you will find help to overcome your anger there.
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| I see a stronger percentage of divorce today than over the previous many years. What really surprises me is the extremey large number of divorces present in our Churches today. Let me say at this point, While I don't like anything about divorce; I do see a place for it in our society.
In some cases, one of the participating spouses may be abusive, no-conforming, rageing, adulterous; even a danger to the other spouse or ballance of the family. In this and like situations I agree that a divorce may be the only choice for a conclusion to an un-equally yoked marriage. However, as we so often hear at the cerimony;"What God Has Joined Together;" Not every relationship has God Joined together.
This is one reason why one must be certain before entering into marriage, that the person they intend on joining in life is equally yoked with them in Emotions, Spiritual things and the physical realm. There is however an obvious spirit of divorce present today, which seems to use the issues of the negative as an easy out so to say to gain a new life as a single individual or perhaps to develop a new relationship with a new person. There is no question that people grow and change as the years go by. Unfortunatelly too many grow apart and not together as they were meant to. Families of respective spouses have very often been the rule as the source of division and break-up in most marriages. Bitterness slips in due to little reminders perhaps that he or she is not what you thought they would be. and the respective family is quick to jump in and bring support for their daughter or son. It is said today so often," When You Married Me You Married My Family!"
How is it that can be true if we are to forsake all others in a marriage?
A Woman is to leave her family and a son his Mother but in today's society we have more participants in a marriage than just the two it was intened for. It is no wonder that so many marriages are doomed before they begin.
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In Pauls letter to the church in Corinth, 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and verses 1 thru 17; we have a very conclusive point made by the Apostle Paul.
First Paul is saying that every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband. This description goes on into verse five of chapter seven. In verses six and seven we have a description declaired about Pauls own marriage status. He declairs that he is unmarried. We know that later in the Epistles that Paul describes information about his wife and family in Rome, so He must be divorced. We can furthur support this therory due to the fact that Paul was once a Pharrisee and one of the requirements to become a Pharrisee, was that they must be married and have fathered at least two sons.
In verse ten Paul writes to the married - " Let Not The Wife Depart From Her Husband." He commands this and even corrects himself by saying, "Not I; But The Lord".
He further writes not to get remarried but if possible to reconcile with her husband and the husband is not to put away his wife.
Then in verse twelve Paul writes somthing very interesting. He writes, " To The rest I speak, not the Lord: if any brother (christian)
hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman (christian)
which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
Now in verse fourteen Paul writes somthing really interesting. He writes"For the unbelievng husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbeieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean but now are holy."
Where does Paul write that divorce is okay for the Christian? In verse fifteen. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
So One would have to conclude that we have a great responsibillity concerning the act of divorce as well as marriage.
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My personal thought on the churches effort to deal with divorce in the church today is, I do not flow in agreement with the divorce care classes that so dominate the churches curriculem today. I see the spectrum of church divorce care as a way to agree with the process of divorce and furthur prolong the lack of true healing and very possible restoration of the marriage needed in a divorce situation. The church is supposed to be a place of restoration, not a place of destruction. If the church takes a stand to agree with all divorce situations, it closes the door for restoration that might be needed for a particular marriage. God is a God of restoration and with God nothing is impossible.
Allow me to also say, there is "no Location" within the scriptures; that declaires that the wife must Love Her Husband. Only the Husband is commanded and exhorted to Love his Wife, as Christ Loves The Church; unconditionally. Only in Titus does Paul write that the Older women should teach the younger women to love their husbands. Wives are to Honor, and Submit according to scripture; unconditionally to their husbands.
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