Here’s all I know about relationships: Soulmates, in a spiritual sense tend to look like each other

Here’s all I know about relationships. The following also contains my personal opinions on relationships. I strongly feel that everyone should do their best to choose a partner that they can spend their life with, or have no partner at all. I have a strong dislike for divorce, and feel it is best to choose a partner that will stay with you to death do you part. I do not condone pre or extra marital sex. Nor do I condone homosexuality. I also don’t condone those that will tell another something is wrong. Tact, and sensitivity is required when trying to make a point against another’s opinion.

Important things to think of and remember:

Soulmates, in a spiritual sense tend to look like each other. Just like pets and their owners tend to look like each other over time, the same is true for people in romantic relationships or even friendships. They also have vibrations that complement each other in every way. If you can be yourself all the time with your partner, then chances are you are soulmates.

When it comes to your significant other, tell them everything as secrets and lies can destroy a relationship BUT when it comes to your past relationships: less is more. Communication, or the lack thereof makes or breaks relationships. However, people need varying amounts of space. Communication is an art.

Don’t use divorce, truth or guilt as weapons. Beware of and avoid sarcasm, contempt, stonewalling, and unwillingness to meet requirements. These can destroy relationships. Sarcasm is a defense mechanism to avoid stating the way you really feel. Contempt is hatred. Stonewalling is a tricky thing I have found to avoid. Gentle persistence is my method of getting around it. And be willing to meet you obligations in the household.

Beware of people that are lying to themselves. If some facet in the relationship seems to good to be true, it may very well be.

Your happiness is measured by how much you would change your life. Your happiness with your partner is measure by how much they would have to change to be ideal. If you are not yet in love, don’t be afraid to look for ideal. If you can’t accept your partner for everything they are and are likely to become, you are responsible to either change what you are willing to accept or to end the relationship, and as changing yourself for your partner is always a bad idea, it will be best in the long run to end the relationship. Don’t ask your partner to change who they are for you. Human nature cannot be changed, only suppressed for a while. That while is not likely to be a lifetime.

People can fall in love with being in love. Don’t use their dreams as a lure to capture their heart. Falling in love should be about chemistry and the irresistible, uncontrollable desire to spend all your time with each other. In should never be about money, loneliness, or convenience.

People may also use you for rebound or vise versa. A broken heart must be mended before it can be given away again.

I have always dated with the intention of marrying. In other words I have always courted. Always wait at least a year after being together before getting married.

Ties to family are naturally stronger than that of friends or spouse. Don’t be offended if your partner chooses family over you.

Nature is much stronger than the force of nurture. Personality is very genetic as the twins studies have shown us.

Human nature cannot be changed, only suppressed for a while. The attitudes and opinions of your partner’s family will remain as part of your partner. Further, the station in life one is born in is usually the station in life they will maintain in life. Middle class children will likely be middle class parents.

Opposites do not attract. The more common interests and attitudes that you share, the better off you will be. Astrology can go a long way in revealing happiness in this regard. I always check to see how good of a match for me my partner is and vice versa. Astrology may also reveal areas of trouble you may encounter with your partner.

Mammals attract mates by way of pheromones. What your partner smells like is a greater factor in attraction than looks or dress. Sexiness is a state of mind that releases pheromones. If you are in a troubled relationship, and your partner does not like the smell of your hair, it is most likely doomed. Pheromones are released from the skin on the scalp and reproductive organs.

Don’t look for a partner; they always come in their own time. By looking for it, you may repel it. Much as the wind from your hand can push a floating dandelion seed drifting on the wind away.

Don’t mistake the initial feeling of love for longevity. The feeling of being in love naturally drifts away, and can be replaced by a more mature love. It can respark from time to time, but the intense feelings cannot last more than five years and usually end much sooner. That is a fact of biology. I also suspect it is why few high school couples stay together. I don’t think most women are ready to settle down so young, and when the initial feelings where off they break it off, or cause it to be broken off. I was ready to settle down by the time I was thirteen.

The feeling of love releases chemicals in the brain, which are no different than consuming chocolate. ½ oz a half hour (1 Hershey’s kiss) is the same as being in love.

I recommend not having sex with a partner unless you are prepared to have a child with that partner. As a note, my religion does permit the use of birth control, and the patch seems to be the best on the market.

Women, when they have an orgasm, release a chemical in the brain which forces them to feel the strongest of romantic love for the one they are mentally with. A strong sex life tends to make for a long relationship. Married couples should strive to have sex five times a week when health permits.

It is perfectly natural for young men to be attracted to older women. Men hit their sexual prime at about 16 and women at 36. So the opposite is true as well. The converse also is found commonly, but for psychological rather than biological reasons I suspect.

Sex too is natural, but mankind does many things that are not done in the animal kingdom such as wear clothes and skydive. That is where God comes in. God ordains that we wear clothes so we feel the sex drive less, and ordains marriage. Sex has two purposes, to procreate and to increase the bond between partners. Homosexuality is an aberration, but found in nature. God does not dislike skydiving.

Sexual perversions have two common causes: a traumatic sexual encounter or prolonged periods without sexual satisfaction. Both form habits that are hard to break.

In this modern age, it is extraordinarily difficult to keep a relationship going. Divorce is commonplace, and often, the easy way out. Our natural roles have been changed as well with women’s liberation. Men were meant to be the gatherers and women to keep the home. Now, both can do either part according to society. Be sure that the both of you agree as to the roles you are willing and wanting to play in this regard.

Don’t stay together for the sake of the children. Hopefully you can avoid having children with a partner that you will later part with. But staying together because you feel the children need both parents is a self-destructive behavior, which will in the end be worse for the children.

Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. If you feel you need a partner to make you happy or complete, then any relationship you enter will not cause you to feel happy or complete. Those are things you must establish in yourself on your own. You must learn to be happy in your own right. There is no shame in getting help from a therapist or friend for this.

Don’t just have a joint account. Have separate accounts as well for buying things just for yourself, or surprises for your partner.

Chose your significant other wisely as they will be either your biggest source of happiness or grief in your life. Family approval of a partnership matters a great deal in choice of partner. Family matters more than friends’ approval in the psyche. Social status will also make a difference in friction in a partnership. Also ask yourself if you feel the need to manipulate your partner. Will your choice in religions make a difference?

Look to your past relationships for patterns. History repeats itself, so look at your present and future partners for the same aspects as the ones you’ve had in the past.

“When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband; when a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs” – Oscar Wilde

"Cute is when your personality shines through your looks. Like, when you see someone's personality in the way they walk and you just feel like hugging them every time you see them.” – Natalie Portman

Herein lies a list of questions that I asked my significant other, and you may wish to do the same. Apart from helping to get a clear picture of where your partner is coming from, to the observant, these questions can find areas of emotional baggage. I’ve had my heart broken by other’s emotional baggage, and have broken hearts with my own. So I offer this as a therapeutic exercise that you can try at your own risk. I make no guarantee that it will help your relationship, nor do I guarantee that it won’t hurt it. I encourage you to add questions about areas where you feel strongly about or have experience in.

What is your most embarrassing moment?

When have you been happiest, angriest, and saddest?

What is/was/are your favorite curse word, color, number, teacher, class, pet, outfit, sport, food, kind of music, band, television shows, movies, dessert, breakfast cereal?

What is your most memorable birthday, moment, vacation, and gift?

Did anyone tell you a secret you just had to tell?

Integrity vs. honesty?

Jailbreak or kickball?

Swim in the beach or at a pool?

What was your largest punishment and was it just or unjust?

Ever shoplift, smoke at school, cut school, or start a fight?

Who was your worst enemy in school?

How did your longest relationship end, and how should relationships end?

What is the role of a husband, wife, mother and father?

Finish these statements: Children are to be ___. Happiness is ____.

What jobs have you held in the past?

What chores did you have when growing up?

What is justice?

Ever go, want to go, or consider going to a topless beach, nude beach or skinny-dipping?

Any diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer’s, or mental illness in your family?

Anyone famous in your lineage? How far back?

What is your heritage?

Where were you born and raised?

What did you like and not like about the areas you lived in?

What is your ring size, and what would you like your engagement and wedding rings to look like? (Great time to sneak such a question in eh?)

Who should do the cooking, sewing, lawn mowing, gardening, accounting, and cleaning when we are living together?

How do you feel about wedding vows? Politics? Abortion? KKK? Prayer in schools? Freedom of speech? Right to bear arms? Cloning? Gay marriages? Legalizing drugs? Corporal punishment? Sex education in elementary schools? Affirmative action? Women in military? Immunization?

How often do you get sick? Remember your dreams?

(If applicable) When did you start wearing glasses?

When did you hit puberty?

How do you feel about divorce?

What labels apply to you? Example: Jew, athlete, nerd, geek and how do you feel about them?

What foods do you hate?

In what order would you put these loyalties (feel free to ad your own) God, yourself, family, country, friends, honor, and truth?

What is your earliest memory? (I’d like to warn here, that missing memories could be the indication of childhood trauma, which can lead to problems that appear shortly after a relationship becomes sexual)

How important are holidays to you? Which ones are the most important?

What is love? Love can have several definitions.

Love is a visceral feeling coming from the heart. It is a strong desire be the other person, to wrap yourself in their warmth, and bond with that person until you become at one.

Love can be remembrance; thinking of the person you love. This is a more mature version of love. Visceral feelings always die off. A crush can ba a combination of the remberance and the visceral feelings as you tend to think more about the other than you do yourself.

Love can also be sacrifice. Sacrificing your own desires, possessions, and safety for another, without hope or desire of gain or reward. This is the love associated with family, and it must be mutually present in a mate in order for the relationship to last.

What is sweet?

Sweet is caring more for other peoples feelings than your own. It’s bending over backwards, naturally, to avoid hurting another. It’s an ultimate form of temperance, inner beauty, and charisma.

What is beauty?

Beauty is not skin deep, but is also in the eyes of the beholder. One’s face does truly represent their personality, and their gait their past. I break beauty down into three categories. The first is raw beauty. There are some people that most other people consider beautiful. There are plenty of celebrities that fit into this category. This category is mostly illusory; celebrities can be made to look better with photographic editing, and they have professionals helping them to look their very best. But there is an archetype of beauty, and they may be partly at one with that. Beauty, or more accurately prettiness can be measured on a grayscale.

The second and third categories are those that you consider beautiful, and you feel a desire to get to know them, or to admire them from afar. These people may or may not be right for you, and that is how these categories are broken down. When it come to mates and friends opposites do not attract, but they may appear to do so for a while.

What is attraction?

Different people are arrtacted to different things in others. The underlieing thing with mammals (humans included) is smell. Pheremones are released from glands in the scalp and groin. It is these that our subconsios picks up, and causes us to be attracked to another, but I do not by any means consider this the near and far of attacktion. To me phermonies only make up one property, and call that sexiness.

If I’m not interested in someone and they are realseasing pheremonies (I can actually smell them) I’ll avoid them or use my magick to turn them off.

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