Harry Potter and the Moldy Cheese

Harry Potter was your normal 16 year old boy. The whole summer he longed to be back at Hogwarts, where he could be with his best friends, Ron and Hermione. He hated the Dursleys, and they hated him.
One day, towards the end of August, there was a mysterious knock at the door. Dudley answered it, only to find Hagrid standing there. Dudley cowered in fear.
“I’ve come to take Harry to Hogwarts.” he said. Harry smiled and rushed to get his things. He was back within minutes, and rushed out to the train station with Hagrid before Dudley could even scream.
“Harry! It’s great to see you!” exclaimed Ron, who was helping Ginny get into platform 9 3/4.
“Ron! Ginny! Yay!” obviously, Harry was very happy to see his friends. Mrs. Weasley waved goodbye as the three made their way through the wall.
“What did you do all summer?” asked Harry, who hadn’t really gone anywhere except Privet Drive.
“We went to Peru.” said Ginny. “We brought you something.”
“Really? But I’m Harry...just Harry.”
“That’s why we bought it for you.” she replied as Ron handed him the package. Harry tore open the paper to see a unique kind of cheese from Peru.
“I love cheese!! Thank you!” Harry was so excited that he hugged both of them. Ginny, for one, didn’t mind at all.
Upon arriving at Hogwarts, Ron and Harry, now 6th year students, ran up to their room, after giving the fat lady the new password.
“Ron, what am I going to do with the cheese? I can’t finish it right now.”
“Here, I’ll put it in the fridge, and you can eat it later.” Ron opened the fridge and put the cheese inside.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was mid January and Hermione had just finished making french toast for Crookshanks, who begged & pleaded for it earlier. This made her hungry, so she walked up to the fridge and opened the door. The cheese had come to life! Hermione screamed as the cheese began to fly away.
“RON!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. “You should NEVER leave cheese in the fridge for too long! I read it in ‘Hogwarts: A History.’”
“Oh,” said Ron. “I never read that.” At this point, Hermione was so mad that she slapped him.
The next day, McGonagall came out and announced to the Gryffindors and Slytherins that the cheese had attacked Draco Malfoy, who was now bedridden.
"The school isn't safe." remarked Dumbledore.
“I have to go to the Chamber of Secrets.” said Harry, overconfidently.
“But Harry!!” yelled Ron, who was making a face.
“It’s the only way, Ron.” said Hermione as the three traveled to the Chamber.
When they reached the bottom of the Chamber, Buckbeak was sitting there.
“Hey, we haven't seen you in a while!” remarked Hermione. Buckbeak smiled and attempted to eat the cheese in order to save the day. Unfortunately, certain cheeses didn’t agree with him, and he couldn’t do it.
Just then, Harry clutched his forehead. The scar had never hurt so much in his life. Voldemort walked in along with a dementor. The cheese looked at it, and the dementor proceeded to suck out the cheese’s soul.
Out of nowhere, The Basilisk appeared along with a sword.
“Harry, didn’t you already fight that thing?” yelled Ron.
“Yes, but that was 4 years ago.” said Harry as he grabbed the sword. “This part’s just in here because Laura likes it when I have the sword.”
“Oh, well that makes sense then.” replied Ron.
"Yes, Ron. EVERYONE knows that." Hermione added. Harry finally defeated the snake when Sophia from the Golden Girls walked in.
“Does anyone have any food for my pet snakes?” she asked.
“Um...there’s a spider over there.” said Ron, pointing to one on the floor.
“Thank you,” said Sophia. “By the way, Harry, I’m the one who killed your parents.”
“NO YOU’RE NOT! IT WAS VOLDEMORT!” Harry yelled fiercely.
“Oh...You’re probably right.” Sophia took the spider and was about to leave, when Moaning Myrtle randomly appeared and flushed everyone down the toilet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Harry waited at the train station, he recalled his newest adventure. He couldn’t wait for his next and final year at Hogwarts.


MORAL:
NEVER BUY CHEESE FROM PERU.

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Harry Potter and the Moldy Cheese
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