14 Contestants.
1 DVD Player.
1 Ultimate Winner.
The Lord of the House.



Hi. I'm Jeff Probst. Because I'm the greatest thing ever, I've decided to host the newest Reality Show, The Lord of the House. This season, 14 people will be living in the same house, and competing in several challenges. Every week, contestants will vote each other out. The person with the most votes will be evicted from the house. Do these players have what it takes to be the ultimate Lord of the House & win the New DVD player? They'll soon find out...



Week 1: Moving In
It's a beautiful day & our contestants are more than ready to move into their new home. But first, everyone must plant a seed in the yard so they would always have a plant so that they'd never forget their experience. At random, they are forced to draw names as to who their roommate will be. For some, they will be lucky. Others won't be so lucky.
And the roommates have been decided as follows!!
Sam and Sarah
Arwen and Theodin
Legolas and Meghan
Pippin and Drew Carey
Laura and Merry
Gimli and Aragorn
Frodo and Smeagol

Oh, I just can't wait to WATCH the tensions rise!! Until then, I'm Jeff Probst, signing off. ::SURVIVOR THEME PLAYS:: No!! That's the wrong show!! Argh!!


Week 2

The house guests are getting used to their new environments. But as stated before, the tensions are really starting to rise. Meg and Legolas seem to have several disputes about the bathroom. Meg was heard to say, "At least MY eyebrows match my hair!!"
Smeagol has been running around like crazy trying to make alliances with anyone he can. He really wants that DVD player. He tried really hard to get an alliance with Pippin for the final 2. Pippin said it was too early in the game for him to know who he could trust yet. Smeagol was truly upset by this, and threw a terrible tantrum. He was called to the diary room, where he was told to apologize to the rest of the contestants.

The Head of House challenge dealt with washing the dishes. The person who could wash 20 dishes in the shortest amount of time would nominate 2 people to be voted out. Arwen thought this would be an easy challenge. Gimli became terribly upset that he couldn't reach the sink. Aragorn said, "This is the way a MAN washes the dishes." Aragorn finished the dishes in the shortest amount of time and was crowned king...I mean "Head of House." He nominated Gimli, who greatly annoyed him throughout the challenge, and Smeagol, figuring everyone would vote for him because of his outburst with Pippin.
Sam went around telling everyone that this was a great opportunity to get rid of Smeagol, however, Frodo realized that keeping Smeagol in the game might prove to be the better choice. Sam reluctantly agreed, and Gimli was voted out of the house.

GIMLI'S FINAL WORDS
"This was a great experience. I feel my life definitely changed for the better. I just hope that Aragorn remembers he was the cause of my being voted out."

Week 3
Aragorn has been living alone now that his roommate, Gimli, has been voted out. The contestants are beginning to wonder what he's planning. Sarah mentioned that since he's king, he might be able to afford his own DVD player, so she suggested they should try voting him out next. Theodin wasn't sure about this, because he knew Aragorn was a really good person, as well as a good friend.
This week, Smeagol decided he should try alligning with Drew Carey. Drew didn't think it was a good idea. Smeagol proceeded to throw another tantrum. Just when he was about to jump on Merry's back, Jeff Probst appeared with the Head of House challenge.
"For today's challenge, you will be forced to stare at a surprise visitor. The person who can stare at him the longest without laughing will win Head of House." said Jeff. Everyone seemed to be okay with the challenge until the surprise guest stepped into the room. It was Macaulay Culkin!

Smeagol, Laura, Meg, and Aragorn broke into laughter and were immediately disqualified from the challenge. Frodo looked unusually perplexed. He knew that he recognized Macaulay from somewhere in his past. This greatly disturbed him. Pippin yelled, "HEY! You were in Home Alone!" At which point, Sarah, Legolas, Sam, Merry, and Pippin himself fell to the floor laughing. This left Drew, Arwen, Theodin, and Frodo still staring. They had been staring for 2 hours when Drew and Theodin cracked a smile. They were disqualified. Arwen laughed at the thought of them being out of the game, leaving Frodo as the new Head of House. Macaulay left the room, and Frodo, (The Good Son), still couldn't figure out why he remembered Macaulay.
Frodo didn't even realize he was the new Head of House until Laura asked him who he was thinking of nominating. Frodo wasn't sure who to nominate, but Laura suggested getting rid of Arwen, because she was just too boring for a game as fun as this. Frodo agreed, and nominated Arwen and Theodin, just because everyone loves Theodin and would never vote him out. The votes were tallied, and with an 11 to 1 vote, Arwen was voted out, and the game would continue without her.

ARWEN'S FINAL WORDS:
Did I get voted out? That's too bad. Do people go bald at age 30? Hmm..."
(Arwen continued talking, but it just got too boring after that.)


Week 4
Aragorn was very mad that Arwen was voted out. Laura said, “Hey, at least the game is a lot less boring now!” Pippin gave Laura a high five, as Aragorn stormed out of the room. Smeagol entered and asked Meg and Legolas to allign with him. Legolas pretended not to hear, and Meg just laughed. Bad idea. (Insert Smeagol tantrum here)
Later that day, Theodin was eating his freshly baked brownies when he announced, “THIS TASTES LIKE EX-LAX!!” He looked around, and sure enough, there was indeed, a bottle of ex-lax on the table. Theodin was MAD.

Everyone was sympathetic towards Theodin except Sarah. She was just too happy to be in a carpeted house with her favorite people to be concerned about Theodin’s brownie problems. But the question remained: Who DID put the ex-lax in Theodin’s brownies?

Theodin suspected Smeagol, but Smeagol decided he was going to blame “the fat hobbit” instead. Sam was very upset, and called out, “Mr. Frodo! I swear I didn’t do it!” Frodo, looking really hot, answered, “I know, Sam, I know.” Merry and Pippin then realized that Drew Carey was a lot fatter than Sam. They decided it would be funny to tell Smeagol. Smeagol got so excited that he lept in the air, screaming, and landing on Drew’s back. Drew was really freaked out, so he grabbed Smeagol, and threw him across the room, just as Jeff Probst walked in, announcing that the house guests needed to calm down for the Head of House challenge. Merry and Pippin shook hands on a job well done on angering Smeagol. Jeff handed out yarn to everyone and said that the person who could make 17 stripes of a scarf first would win Head of House. Meg proclaimed, “But Laura makes my scarves!” Everyone gasped. “FINISHED!” announced Laura, holding up her scarf. And just like that, Laura was declared Head of House for the first time.
Aragorn told Laura to nominate Theodin, so that nobody would have to suffer his wrath over the brownies. Merry told Laura to vote for someone everyone liked, to ensure Theodin’s dismissal. Laura agreed, and nominated Theodin and Sarah. The votes were tallied, and Theodin was voted out. Believe me, Theodin was NOT pleased.

THEODIN'S FINAL WORDS:
”I WILL find out who did it. And they will PAY."


Week 5
Without Theodin, the house seemed to be less intense. That didn’t last long. Not until Smeagol decided he was hungry. “Hey, Aragorn!” said Smeagol. “Do you wanna make me some meat loaf?” Aragorn was slightly confused and told him to ask Frodo. Smeagol yelled “But Aragorn makes the best meat loaf in the world!! AHHH!!!” Meanwhile, tensions have been rising a great deal between Legolas and Meghan. Legolas’s bad habit of hogging the bathroom really got Meg mad, and she heard to say, “At least MY name doesn’t sound like Leg-Less!!”
Legolas & Meg came into the room where Smeagol was still insisting that Aragorn’s meat loaf was better than Frodo’s. Meg decided she might quell some fighting, and offered to make the meat loaf herself. Legolas asked, “Meghan, can you cook? It’s not like you’re Dan Radcliffe or anything.” Meg shrugged, and began to cook.

Meg had only been cooking for 2 minutes when the meat loaf caught on fire. “Oops!” yelled Meg as Merry, Pippin, and Sarah began running in circles, not knowing what to do. Legolas gave Meg an “I told you so look” and laughed. Smeagol screamed so hard that Laura, Sam, and Frodo had to cover their ears. Just when all seemed lost, Drew Carey ran into the room with his handy dandy fire extinguisher, and bravely put out the fire. Everyone cheered, and Smeagol began jumping on the couch in confusion.

Jeff Probst walked in and apologized for not coming in sooner to put the fire out himself. But everyone knew Jeff was just too stupid to realize there even WAS a fire in the first place. This week’s challenge was that everyone had to be spun on wheelie chairs until they couldn’t handle it anymore. Sam, Laura, and Pippin automatically disqualified themselves from the challenge. They knew right away that they couldn’t handle it. And so it began. Smeagol laughed with delight as he spun in his chair. Legolas fell off & Meg laughed so hard that she fell off too. Merry began to feel queezy so Pippin and Laura helped in to the bathroom. Frodo and Sarah bumped their chairs into each other and they both fell off. For the next 7 hours, Aragorn, Drew Carey, and Smeagol continued to spin. Finally, Drew gave up, and Aragorn got too dizzy and fell off. So Smeagol was declared Head of House. As Jeff probst tried to take away the wheelie chairs, Smeagol got really mad, and jumped on Jeff’s back in anger. Jeff threw Smeagol on the floor, proclaiming, “DON’T JUMP ON THE HOST’S BACK!”
Smeagol announced he was nomining “the fat hobbit,” Sam, and “the other fat one,” Drew Carey. Everyone loved Sam dearly, but Drew Carey had saved all of their lives from the fire. Laura suggested that maybe Sam would be happier if he were back at the Shire with his wife and the little Sams, and without Smeagol bothering him. Everyone agreed.

SAM'S FINAL WORDS:
”I love you guys! You’re the best!”


Week 6
Now that Sam is gone, Smeagol has been picking on Drew Carey about his weight a lot more than usual. Drew got really frustrated and finally threatened to eat Smeagol. This scared Smeagol, who proceeded to scream and leap into Legolas’s arms. Meghan laughed. Legolas looked down, and asked, “What do you want, you decomposing hobbit?!” Smeagol answered, “I WANT MY DVD’S! DREW CAREY STOLE MY PRECIOUS DVD’S!” Merry and Pippin hid behind the couch so Smeagol wouldn’t jump on them too. “DREW CAREY STOLES THEM!! AND WE WANTS THE DVD PLAYER!! TO PLAY THE DVD’S!! AHHH!!” Drew just shrugged as Legolas responded, “At least he didn’t EAT your DVD’s.” Smeagol gasped in horror at the thought of Drew Carey eating his DVD’s.
Just then, Frodo, Laura, and Sarah walked in. “What’s going on?” asked Frodo. Legolas pointed at Smeagol. “Tantrum time?” asked Laura. Everyone nodded. Smeagol began to hyperventilate. Sarah shook her head, “I just don’t get it. I mean, it’s only a DVD player. I mean, I have one at home!” Everyone slowly turned around and stared at Sarah. Meg and Laura needed to act quickly. Meg covered Sarah’s mouth. “Did she just say she already has a DVD player?” asked Legolas. Laura quickly answered, “NO! No, she uh...she wanted to know....where Aragorn was!! Yeah!” Suddenly everyone looked around. Where WAS Aragorn?

Merry suggested they look in the kitchen. Everyone agreed, and to everyone’s ultimate horror, Aragorn was in the kitchen, holding the bottle of EX-LAX! “So it was YOU!! YOU put the ex-lax in Theodin’s brownies!!” announced Drew Carey. “FINE! So what if I DID put the ex-lax in the brownies? Theodin should have gone the second week when all of you voted out Arwen!” Laura gave Aragorn a really confused look. “But she was boring.”
Later that day, Laura, Meg, Sarah and the hobbits were hanging out when Frodo suggested forming an alliance to get of Aragorn next. After all, it was because of him that Gimli and Theodin were voted out. They agreed.

The next day, Jeff Probst came in and announced that the Head of House challenge would be based on pure luck. The seeds they had planted on the first day had started to sprout, and the person whose plant had grown the biggest would win. They went outside, and Pippin’s plant was a wopping 4 inches high. Pippin won. “Congratulations, Pippin,.” said Jeff.”Please make your 2 nominations.” Pippin smiled. “Well, Merry and Sarah are my best friends. So I’ll nominate them.” Merry stood up in shock! “PIPPIN! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO NOMINATE YOUR FRIENDS!!” Pippin looked confused. “I’m not? Oops.” Jeff just shrugged and said, “Well, this is a first.” The votes were very close, but in the end, Sarah was voted out. Laura, Meg, Frodo, and Merry were very sad, but they decided to give Sarah the carpet from her room as a parting gift.

SARAH’S FINAL WORDS
”Oh well. But hey, who needs a DVD player when you can have CARPET instead?!”

Week 7
The new alliance of Meg, Laura, Frodo, Merry and Pippin missed Sarah a lot, and Pippin felt kind of stupid for nominating her. He apologized, and announced that if he won the DVD player, he would share it with all of them, and promised to have a DVD party. Smeagol overheard the idea of the DVD party and wanted to know if he could come. Merry said no, as Smeagol was not part of the alliance. Smeagol then threw a tantrum and vowed revenge on Merry.
Just then Legolas walked in, complaining that Meg had once again left her Harry Potter toothpaste on HIS side of the sink in the bathroom. Drew Carey covered his mouth in horror. That was it. Meg got so mad that she proclaimed, “At least I use toothpaste!” Aragorn looked at Legolas in shock, who just shrugged back. Meg started to storm off, when a sudden smirk appeared on her face. This greatly worried Laura and Frodo, who asked, “Meghan....what are you thinking...” Smeagol popped his head out. “DVD?!” Meg looked back and smiled, “Oh, this is much better than a DVD.” Smeagol couldn’t comprehend the idea of something being better than a DVD. Laura and the hobbits feared for the worst, as Meg laughed evilly and ran out of the room.

Unknown to the rest of the house guests, Meghan had taken Legolas’s toothbrush and decided to clean the toilet with it. She was having great fun scrubbing away the dirt and grime, when Aragorn walked by. “Isn’t that so nice of you to clean the toilet for us?” he took a second look, and realized it was Legolas’s toothbrush. “And you thought Ex-Lax in the brownies was bad?!” Meghan laughed so hard, as Jeff Probst walked by. “Meghan, this is unexceptable. Please apologize to Mr. Greenleaf immediately. We will provide Legolas with another toothbrush. Another incident like this, and you will be disqualified from the game.” Meghan then walked up to Legolas and started laughing. “Legolas, I just cleaned the toilet with your toothbrush and...” she broke down into laughter. “...and I’m sorry.” Meghan was laughing uncontrollably now. Legolas looked at her and said, “I’m just too hot for you and you can’t handle it.” Meghan fell over in laughter as Jeff Probst began to explain the challenge.
For the new Head of House Challenge, the house guests would vote on someone to toss. The person who could toss them the furthest would win. Everyone agreed on Smeagol, since he would be the most amusing one to watch go flying through the air.

Frodo thought this challenge was so incredibly funny as he threw Smeagol an impressive 10 feet. Everyone thought Frodo would win this one, until Legolas had his turn and got Smeagol stuck in a tree. Smeagol was truly upset by this, and Legolas won out of default.
Legolas had no trouble nominating Meg, but Drew Carey had made a lot of fun of him for the toothbrush thing, and surprisingly, Legolas decided to go against the alliance and nominate him too. With a 7 to 2 vote, Drew was voted out, and will now join Gimli, Arwen, Theodin, Sam and Sarah in the jury.

DREW CAREY’S FINAL WORDS
”Maybe being on 3 shows WAS a bit much...”

Week 8
Smeagol has been doing nothing but smiling lately because Drew and Sam are no longer in the house. He even did a dance of joy for Meghan and Pippin. Meg laughed so hard at Smeagol’s dance, that she fell down the steps and landed on Legolas, who happened to be walking by. Meghan was so mad, that she decided to mess up Legolas’s hair. Merry pointed and laughed really hard at Legolas, which left the elf in a very bad mood. “Merry,” Legolas began. “I wouldn’t laugh so hard. You may be next to go.” Pippin began lashing out at Legolas for threatening to get rid of Merry. “But Pippin, you nominated Merry 2 weeks ago.” Meg answered. “Hey Merry,” said Pippin, completely ignoring Meg’s comment. “Let’s go search Arwen & Theodin’s room to see if they left any interesting things in there.” Merry agreed.

Merry and Pippin scurried into Arwen and Theodin’s forgotten room to find some hidden treasures to find Laura and Frodo having some fun in their room!! “LAURA?!” yelled Pippin. “FRODO?!” yelled Merry. “PIPPIN?!” yelled Laura. “MERRY?!” yelled Frodo. Just then Aragorn walked by. “Like you didn’t know they were gonna get together during the game.” as he started to walk away, he was heard to mutter under his breath “stupid ringbearer.” Laura proceeded to chase Aragorn around the entire house in anger until Meghan finally caught her and calmly said to her, “It’s just a game.”
For the next 2 days, Merry wouldn’t shut up about Laura and Frodo. “Hey Legolas!” he would say. “Did you hear about Laura and Frodo? Isn’t that the coolest thing in the world?! Hey Legolas! I knew all along that they’d get together. Hey Legolas! I’m shorter than you. Hey Legolas, guess my middle name!Hey Legolas...” Legolas finally could take no more and left the room to talk to Aragorn about their alliance. Aragorn thought the best move would be to nominate both Laura and Frodo, since they obviously would stick together in the game. “Aragorn,” said Legolas. “We got to get rid of Merry. He’s driving me insane and he won’t shut up. Yeah. Him and Meghan need to go.” Aragorn wasn’t sure about getting rid of Merry, but he said he’d think about it.

Jeff Probst came frolicking in with what he claimed to be a very interesting challenge. It would be a simple hide and seek game, and the person Jeff found last would win Head of House. Everyone found a place to hide as Jeff counted to 20. “Ready or not, here I come....Hmm...it’s hot in here. I think I’ll turn on the ceiling fan.” Immediately, Smeagol, who was hiding on top of the fan went flying across the room, landed on Jeff’s back, and began to scream. “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Jeff became very annoyed and yelled, “What did I tell you about jumping on the host’s back?!” Smeagol almost turned into Gollum and responded, “We wouldn’ts have landed on your back if you didn’t puts on the fan!!” Jeff sighed, as he continued to find Laura and Meghan in the washer and dryer, Legolas in the shower, Pippin in the trash can, and Frodo and Merry under Arwen’s boring bed. “Oh no....” said Meghan, realizing that Aragorn was the last one to be found. “I wonder where Aragorn is.” said Jeff. Everyone else couldn’t believe Jeff’s stupidity at not knowing that Aragorn was obviously in the kitchen, where he always was. With that, Aragorn won Head of House.
Aragorn decided to nominate Laura for chasing him around the house, and Merry, in hopes that Pippin might join his alliance with him and Legolas.(Like that would ever happen.) With a 4 to 2 vote, Merry was voted out. Frodo said, “I’m so sorry, Sam...Oh sorry, I just thought I was in Return of the King." Pippin promised he would do his best to win so that he could share the DVD player with Merry after the game. Until then, Merry would watch DVD’s with Sarah. Smeagol is very jealous.

MERRY’S FINAL WORDS
”Hey Legolas! Did you hear about Laura and Frodo?! Wait, no. That’s not right.....Go Pippin!!”

Week 9
It took Pippin a long time to realize that Merry had left the house. Meg, Laura and Frodo decided to play Scrabble with him to make him feel better. Pippin had lots of fun, and was overjoyed that the word “Took” was actually in the dictionary. All was going well until Smeagol entered and realized he wasn’t invited to play. He screamed and flipped the board over so that all the letters landed in Frodo and Pippin’s laps. “Smeagol,” said Meghan. “It’s just a game.” Smeagol proceeded to yell, “BUY DVD’S!!” as he continued to throw the Scrabble box at Laura. Confused by his motives, everyone just shrugged.
Meanwhile, Legolas and Aragorn were plotting about who to vote out next. Legolas suggested Meghan, but Aragorn still insisted on separating Laura and Frodo. They agreed on if either of them won Head of House, that they would nominate Laura and Frodo. However, Legolas held nothing against Frodo, so he secretly planned to nominate Meghan instead. As they shook hands on the deal, Legolas looked down at a peice of paper on the floor, which read, “Dear Legolas, you are so hot. I Love you. Signed, your secret admirer.” Legolas gave a smirk. He turned to Aragorn. “Hmm. I AM hot, aren’t I...” Aragorn just walked away. “Oh yeah?!” yelled back Legolas. “I am the hottest thing alive, and YOU can’t handle it!!!”

Legolas pondered who the letter could be from. Obviously, it was someone in the house. The only girls were Laura and Meghan. Legolas KNEW it wasn’t Meghan, so he assumed it was from Laura. He walked up to her and said, “Look Laura, I know you have the hots for me, which I can see why.” Laura glared at Legolas. “DUDE!” she yelled. “Legolas, I don’t like you like that!! And besides, you smell bad!” Legolas became very angry. "No, I use my Bath and Body Works soap every day." Frodo, overhearing the conversation, ran in the room. “Laura, how can you do this to me?” Frodo gave her one of his famous tortured looks. “Frodo, this isn’t what you think. You know you’re the only one for me.” said Laura, hugging the adorable hobbit. Legolas looked confused. “Well, if you didn’t write it, who did?” he glanced over at Meghan, who hollered back fiercely, “NO!” Aragorn and Pippin shook their heads. There was only one suspect left.

The contestants looked all over the house, and finally found Smeagol sitting in Legolas’s dirty laundry, looking very guilty. “EWWW!!!” yelled Laura and Meghan. “Does that mean Smeagol is in love with Legolas?” asked Pippin innocently. “That’s disgusting!” yelled Frodo. Legolas was so freaked out that he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. The contestants were all in a state of shock and confusion as Jeff Probst walked in to announce the Head of House Challenge, which would be an archery contest. “Hey, that’s SO not fair!” yelled Pippin. “Legolas will win right away.” Everyone glared at Pippin. Jeff sent Meg to retrieve Legolas from the bathroom. “Thanks, Pippin, we almost had a chance of playing the challenge without him.” said Meghan. “You’re welcome!” smiled Pippin, as Legolas shot the arrow at the bull’s eye, winning Head of House.
Legolas was really freaked out by Smeagol and wanted to nominate him. Aragorn said that they should keep Smeagol so they could keep him in their alliance. Legolas agreed, and nominated Laura and Meghan, causing major tensions to fly around the house. With a 3 to 2 vote, Laura was voted out. She gave Pippin, Meg and Frodo really big hugs. Frodo and Meg then vowed revenge on Legolas.

LAURA’S FINAL WORDS
”I Love you, Frodo!! Party at Sarah’s!!”

Week 10
Aragorn was extremely pleased that Laura was voted out. Now Aragorn, Legolas and Smeagol wouldn’t have to worry about Laura and Frodo’s alliance. However, Meg, Frodo, and Pippin were quite upset by the whole thing. The tensions really began to rise when Smeagol started to laugh for no reason. This caused Meghan to almost kick him in the teeth. Smeagol screamed and ran to Legolas for help. Legolas, remembering Smeagol’s love letter, began to run out of the room in fear. Just then, Pippin showed up in the doorway, smiled and casually asked, “Hey, are you guys playing tag? I love that game. Can I play?” Pippin tapped Aragorn’s back. “Tag! You’re it!” Aragorn turned around, glared at Pippin, “Oh, I’ll show YOU a game of tag.” he yelled, and began chasing him into the kitchen, where Frodo was sitting, looking distraught. Pippin felt sorry for Frodo and gave him a hug. “It’s okay, Frodo. You’ll see Laura soon.” Frodo looked up and said, “I can’t recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass.” Legolas walked in and shrugged. “Get over it. Laura’s out, and you’re just bitter cause you have less of a chance to win the DVD player.” A head popped out from behind the counter. “DVD?!” Yes, it was Smeagol. “Oh no...not again,” said Legolas, as Smeagol proceeded to chase him out of the room, as Smeagol continued to scream, "BUY DVD'S!!"

”You know...” said Meghan entering the room. “There is a little something called revenge, Frodo.” Frodo looked up at Meghan, as a slight smirk appeared on his face.
Later on that day, Aragorn was back in the kitchen, and was about to make a pitcher of his favorite drink, Cherry Kool-Aid when Frodo casually entered. “Hey Aragorn, whatcha doing?” Aragorn looked down at the little hobbit. “I was gonna make some Kool-Aid.” Meghan’s voice was heard from the living room. “FRODO! Quit stalling & grab the packet!” At that, Frodo seized the Kool-Aid packet, and ran out of the room. “HEY!” yelled back Aragorn.
For the rest of the day, Meghan and Frodo seemed unusually happy. Then it happened. Legolas walked in the room.

“HAHAHAHAHA!!!” The entire house roared with laughter at Legolas’s new hairstyle. “WHO PUT KOOL-AID IN MY SHAMPOO?!” Pippin smiled. “I think it was Meghan and Frodo.” Legolas roared with anger and was just about to attack them, when Jeff Probst entered for the Head of House challenge. “Interesting new look, Legolas.” said Jeff. Legolas stood up. “That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m finished with this game!!” Everyone gasped. Jeff looked confused. “Legolas, are you saying you’re quitting?” Legolas nodded. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m finished.” Jeff looked at the other contestants. “Well, this is a Lord of the House first. There will be no need for a Head of House challenge this week.” With that, Jeff and Legolas left the house, as Meghan and Frodo gave each other a high five on a job well done. :)

LEGOLAS’S FINAL WORDS
”The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the East. A sleepless malice...and now I have to get my hair redone...Meg and Frodo will pay for this...”

Week 11
Meg, Frodo and Pippin decided to throw a “Legolas Quit the Game” party. Actually, it was just Meg, but Frodo and Pippin decided to join her anyway. They had brought out the chips and dip, as well as some lembas, when all of a sudden, Meg realized they forgot the capri sun juice boxes. Meg headed towards the kitchen where Aragorn and Smeagol were sitting, discussing the next move. She leaned her head in to overhear the conversation. “Smeagol,” said Aragorn. “Do you realize we’re the only 2 left in our alliance? The other 3 have an advantage over us. One of us has to win Head of House to stay in this game!” Smeagol sat and looked confused. “DVD?” he asked. “No, okay, just listen,” continued Aragorn. “Things are not looking good as far as one of us winning the DVD player.” Smeagol leaped into the air and began throwing a tantrum. “DREW CAREY STOLES MY DVDS!! HE’S FAT!! AND HE STOLES MY DVD’S!!” He proceeded fly across the room, and landing somewhere out the window. Meghan began laughing as Aragorn glanced over at her and angerly asked, “Were you listening to that?!” Meg quickly made the only excuse she could think of. “NO! Of course not. Uh, I just wanted to get some sausages!!” With that she ran out of the room. Aragorn stared at her. “Um, you forgot your sausages.”

As Meghan ran away from the angry Aragorn, Frodo slipped into the kitchen to get more dorito’s for the “Legolas Quit the Game” party. Aragorn took this as his big chance to try to stay in the game. “Frodo,” he whispered. “I need to talk to you.” Frodo looked puzzled. “Why are you talking to me?” he answered. “Well, see, I wanted to know if we can get you in an alliance with me and Semagol.” Frodo looked even more puzzled. “You called me a stupid ring bearer. I didn’t think that was very nice. Plus, you helped Legolas vote off Laura, and I didn’t think that was very nice either.” Frodo took his bag of dorito’s, and went back to the “Legolas Quit the Game” Party, as Aragorn growled, realizing his only chance at winning lay in the Head of House challenge.

Jeff Probst announced to the 5 remaining house guests that the Head of House challenge would be an inflatable obstacle course. Up first would be Meghan vs. Aragorn, followed by Frodo vs. Pippin. Then Smeagol would race the winner of Frodo vs. Pippin. So the races began. Aragorn beat Meg instantly. Meg was horrified. Then Pippin and Frodo raced, and Pippin won, as Frodo fell 20 times during the race. Up next was Smeagol vs. Pippin. The race was about to start when Smeagol decided to jump on Jeff’s back. Jeff became so angry that he disqualified Smeagol from the challenge. So the final race was between Aragorn and Pippin. Meg quick yelled to Pippin, “Don’t you DARE let him win this!!” With that, Pippin zoomed through the challenge, beating Aragorn with flying colors. Jeff congratulated Pippin, and asked him to make his nominations. “PIPPIN!” yelled Frodo. “Don’t nominate your friends!!” Pippin smiled, “Oh, okay. Then I pick Smeagol and Aragorn.” “YES!!” Meg and Frodo rejoiced, as they proceeded to vote Aragorn out of the house, finally avenging the exits of Gimli and Theodin.

ARAGORN’S FINAL WORDS
”You had your chance to align with me Frodo. Don’t expect any votes from me in the future...”

Week 12: The Final Four
The “Legolas Quit the Game Party” was still going on, and now that Aragorn’s out of the house, the kitchen is much happier place. Everything was going smoothly, until the contestants received a mysterious box in the mail. There was a note inside saying that they would be using the contents in the Final Head of House Challenge. “Oh, well we won’t be using that for 2 more weeks.” said Pippin, smiling. “There’s 4 of us left, and 2 more challenges.” Frodo stared at the box for a while and finally asked, “So what’s in the box?” They then realized they should probably open it. Meg lifted the box and dumped out its contents. Smeagol’s eyes grew bigger than Frodo’s as 4 DVD boxes fell out.

”DVDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!” Smeagol leapt into the air and began running in circles in commotion and anarchy. “BUY DVD’S!! MY PRECIOUS DVD’S!!!” Frodo and Pippin backed away in fear. Meg, completely ignoring Smeagol, looked at the DVD’s, realizing that each one had been assigned to a contestant. “Pippin, you get Master and Commander.” Pippin smiled, taking the DVD. “Oh. That’s a good movie.” Frodo looked dejectedly at Flipper, the DVD assigned to him. “Aw, Frodo, it’s okay,” said Meg. “Here, I’ll take Flipper, and you can have my DVD, Home Alone. “No, Meghan.” said Frodo. “This is my burden. I have to do this alone.” He then unwillingly took the DVD as if it were the One Ring. “Smeagol!” called Meg. “You get The Swan Princess III!” Smeagol ran back in the room, grabbed his DVD, and ran back out out.
”I wonder why we got DVD’s.” said Pippin. “It’s not like we have a DVD player to watch them. Smeagol walked back in the room, angry, realizing that even WITH a DVD, he wouldn’t be able to watch it. With that, Jeff Probst arrived for the Head of House Challenge.
”I see you found the DVD’s we left you.” said Jeff. “You are going to need those for today’s challenge.” Pippin looked confused. “But I thought we were using them in the FINAL Head of House challenge.” Jeff gave a smirk and said, “This IS the Final Head of House Challenge.” Everyone’s jaw dropped. “That’s right. This is a Lord of the House first. Today’s winner will not only win Head of House, but will win a guaranteed spot in the final 2. Ultimately, you will also decide who will be sitting next to in the final vote, as not 1, but 2 contestants will be voted out this week. Head of House has never been so important as it is now.” Everyone’s jaw was still dropped. “Okay!” Jeff smiled. “ Now to the Challenge!”

Jeff explained that the challenge would be a DVD Shuffleboard game. The rules were simple. The contestant to get their DVD the furthest on the board would win Head of House, a spot in the Final 2, plus they would get to keep all 4 DVD’s. Up first was Frodo, who scored 3 points. Next up was Pippin, who also scored 3 points, tying with Frodo. Meg went next, who scored 4 points, preventing the 2 hobbits from winning. Finally, Smeagol, who would not let go of his DVD, somehow managed to fly across with the board along with the DVD, scoring 7 points, and winning Head of House. The level of intensity rose to a new height as Jeff told Smeagol to decide which 2 he was going to vote out. Smeagol’s first choice was Meghan because of the time she threw him out a window, and Frodo, because of the whole ring thing. Meg and Frodo hugged Pippin, and promised to vote for him in the final vote. Frodo stood up and proclaimed, “Leaving the house is my burden. I have to do this alone.” Meg could take no more. “Frodo Baggins. You know I love you, but will you QUIT IT WITH THE STUPID BURDENS ALREADY?! Who do you think you are, the BURDEN-BEARER?! No, you're the RING BEARER!! You know what? Come on, Frodo, let’s go.” Frodo shrugged as the two walked out of the house, leaving Pippin and Smeagol as the Final 2.

MEG’S FINAL WORDS
”You know what?! I don’t care. I seriously had a DVD Player the whole time. So THERE.”
FRODO’S FINAL WORDS
Well, it WAS my burden...”

Week 13: The Jury Selects their Lord of the House
Hello. I’m Jeff Probst. 13 weeks ago, 14 contestants entered this house with one thing on their minds: A DVD player. As the game continued, alliances were formed, and promises were broken. Nothing could have ever prepared them for what was going to happen. Now, 13 weeks later, we are down to the final 2. It’s all down to this. Welcome to the final episode, where we will find out who will move on to be crowned, The Lord of the House. I’ll bring in the DVD player.

Pippin and Smeagol were in for a huge and eventful day, as Jeff entered the house with exciting news. Today would be the day everyone had been waiting for. “Please welcome the members of the jury,” said Jeff, as the former contestants in order of their departure, entered the room. Gimli was first, followed by Arwen, Theodin, Sam, Sarah, Drew Carey, Merry, Laura, Legolas(who still had some leftover streaks of pink in his hair), Aragorn, and the newest members, Meghan and Frodo. “Hi, Merry!” Pippin ran over to Merry and gave him a big hug. “Legolas!!!” yelled Smeagol, running over to Legolas, who in turn, stepped out of Smeagol’s path, resulting in Smeagol crashing into the wall. Jeff told everyone to sit down, explaining that each jury member now had the opportunity to ask the final 2 a question of their choice. Their answers could ultimately be the deciding vote from any of the jury members. Jeff seemed very proud of his position as host, as he motioned the jury to begin their questions. “Gimli, you’re up.”

“Hello,” began Gimli. “My question is simple. Obviously, since I was voted out first, there was no way I was even close to winning the DVD player. So I just want to know. If either of you win, would it be alright if I came over sometimes to watch some DVD’s every now and then?” Pippin smiled and happily responded “Sure, Gimli! Anytime.” Smeagol angerly reponded, “My precious...” and gave Gimli an evil glare. “Uhh...okay, thanks for being honest.” Gimli said as he returned to his seat.
Arwen stood up to ask her question. Laura fell asleep from boredom. “Hi guys, see, I’m having this dilemma, and I just wanna know your thoughts. Do people go bald at age 30? I really wanna know.” Pippin looked up and said, “Well, I turned 30 twice, once in Scotland, and once in L.A., and I had hair both days.” Smeagol responded, “We wents bald on the 30th birthday sooo many years ago when we founds the precious. So yes.” Arwen smiled as she was very pleased with their answers. As she went to sit down, Merry whacked Laura on the head to wake her up.
Theodin stood up, and instead of walking to Pippin and Smeagol, he headed towards Aragorn. “I know it was you,” Theodin started. “I know is was you put the ex-lax in my brownies. I want to express my sincere disgust and revulsion for you. I would have expected more from a fellow soldier on the battlefield of Helm’s Deep. I’m not speaking about how you played this game. I’m speaking on terms of morals, health and friendship. You may be a king, but I was a king first, and what you did was not very kingly...” “Excuse me,” interrupted Jeff. “Theodin, you were told to address Pippin and Smeagol, and not a fellow member of the jury. If you have nothing to say to the final 2, please sit down.” With that, Theodin sat down.
Sam shyly walked over to Pippin and Smeagol, asking, “I wanna know which one of you took better care of Mr. Frodo after I got voted out.” Pippin answered, “Frodo and I hung out a lot, and I even gave him a hug after Laura got voted out.” Smeagol sucked up to Sam by saying, “We tooks care of the hobbit night and day. We protects him from all harm.” Everyone looked confused as Sam responded, “Yeah, that’s why you bit his finger off.” “Ohhhhhh!!!” everyone poclaimed, including Meg, who yelled, “Yeah, Sam!!”
Jeff Probst stood up. Okay, Gimli, Arwen, Theodin, and Sam. It’s time to vote.

Up next was Sarah. “My question is very important. Your answers will ultimately affect my vote. I want to know how good your carpet at home is.” Pippin smiled. “It’s very soft and comfy.” Smeagol glared evilly at Sarah, remembering that she already had a DVD player. “DVD.” he responded angerly. “Okay, thanks!!” said Sarah as she sat back down.
Drew Carey approached the final 2 next. “Pippin, was nominating 2 of your closest friends a strategic move on your part?” Pippin shook his head. “No, because Merry yelled at me for it, and then I realized it was stupid cause Sarah got voted out.” Drew nodded and then asked, “Smeagol, why do you insist that I stole your DVD’s? I never did.” Smeagol proceeded to yell and scream. “AHHHH!!!! MY PRECIOUS DVD’S!! DVD!! DVD!! DVD!! DVD!!” Drew backed away, knowing his question would never be answered.
Next was Merry, who smiled and simply asked, “Tell me why you deserve to win.” Pippin, already knowing Merry’s vote would be for him, answered, “I played a fantastic game, and if I win, I’ll share the DVD player with you, and besides, I never jumped on Jeff Probst’s back.” Jeff nodded. “Yes, that’s true,” Jeff thought out loud. Smeagol, still fuming from Drew’s question, simply responded, “DVD.”
Laura happily walked up to ask her questions. “Hi guys!” she said. Pippin said hi back, and Smeagol growled. “Pippin, if I vote for you, will you teach me a Scottish accent after the show?” Pippin’s face lit up with joy. “Okay! I’d love to!” Laura was very happy at the chance that her Scottish accent might actually work. “Smeagol, why did you eat Frodo’s finger? I think that’s disgusting, and besides, you made Frodo sad, and that’s not cool.” Smeagol, angrier than ever, responded once again, “DVD.” Laura shrugged as Jeff told the next four to make their votes.

Legolas stepped forward. His pink streaks seemed to glow in the lamplight. “I’m gonna vote for whoever gives me a better answer. What can I use to get this disgusting leftover pink things outta my hair? They’re diminishing my charismatic charm and suave good looks.” With this, Meg almost threw up. Pippin made a suggestion. “Since it was cherry kool-aid that made your hair pink, why not try lemonade kool-aid?” Smeagol, still fuming, responded, “BLEACH.” Legolas seemed intrigued by these answers, and became interested in trying their suggestions.
Aragorn boldy stood up. Everyone was dead silent. Theodin rolled his eyes, saying, “He’s not all THAT threatening, you know...” Aragorn looked at Pippin and Smeagol. “Is there anything you would like to apologize to me for?” Pippin nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry I touched Gandalf’s palantir.” Everyone looked confused, as this incident had nothing to do with the game. Pippin continued, “See, cause after I touched it, this whole thing started where Sauron thought I was the ringbearer, and then I had to go with Gandalf & get separated from Merry, and-–” “PIPPIN!” yelled Aragorn. “I asked if there was anything you’d like to apologize to ME for.” Pippin gave a smirk. “Oh. Okay, well, not really then.” Aragorn rolled his eyes. “Smeagol?” he asked. “We are sorry we had to eat Meghan’s meat loaf after you lefts. Yours tastes good. Meg’s tastes bad.” Meghan stood up and was about to kick Smeagol, when Jeff told her to wait her turn.
Up next was Meghan. (Funny how that worked out, huh?) “Pippin, will you marry me?” Before Pippin could answer, Jeff announced, “This is not the surprise ending we’ve been advertising. Okay, I just wanted to say that.” Pippin nodded his head. “Okay.” Meghan jumped in delight. “SCORE! Now Smeagol, will you ever die?” Smeagol shook his head. “No.” he said. “Oh well.” responded Meg, “I had to try.”
Finally, Frodo approached the final 2. “Tell me why the contestant next to you deserves to win more than you.” Pippin stood up. “Really, Frodo. Don’t even tell me you’re considering to vote for that thing. I mean, he ate your finger.” Frodo looked at his hand and said, “Well, I wasn’t planning on voting for Smeagol, I was only asking to– ” Smeagol cut him off, “WHY AREN’T YOU VOTING FOR ME?! AFTER ALL WE WENTS THROUGH TOGETHER?! THIS HOBBIT DOESN’T DESERVE THE DVD PLAYER!! BUY DVD’S!!!” Frodo began to backing in fear as Jeff told the last four to vote.

AND WITH 7 VOTES, THE WINNER IS...


PIPPIN TOOK, THE LORD OF THE HOUSE!!

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Smeagol was so angry that he grabbed the DVD player before Jeff could officially give it to Pippin. He started to run away with it, when Jeff began fighting Smeagol to get the DVD player back. He jumped on Smeagol’s back, making Smeagol scream. “CAREFUL!” yelled Frodo, remembering the fight he had with Smeagol at Mordor. "OWWWWWWWW!!" Frodo's warning came too late, as Jeff realized Smeagol bit off his finger. Jeff finally got a hold of the DVD player, and threw it to Pippin. “Oh, yay! A DVD player!” said Pippin. “Hey Pip!” called Merry, remember you said we’d share it? Come on, let’s go watch some DVD’s!” Pippin’s face lit up as he walked up to Gimli and asked to borrow his ax. “What for?” asked Gimli, handing it over. Pippin held the ax over the DVD player. “What are you doing?!” yelled Merry. “I’m cutting the DVD player in 2. That way we can share it. That’s what you wanted, right?” “PIPPIN!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!” But it was too late. “Pippin, now none of us can watch any DVD’s.” Pippin realized everyone was staring at him. “Oops.” said Pippin innocently. “That’s okay!!!” announced Sarah. “Remember I had a DVD player the whole time!! And so did Meghan!! Plus, I just bought Lord of the Rings: Return of the King on DVD!! Everyone’s invited to my house and we can all watch it!!” “YAY!!!” Sarah, Meg, Laura, and the hobbits all danced around, knowing that whenever they wanted to watch DVD’s, they could go to Sarah’s. “So we were all in that house for nothing?” asked Aragorn. “Yep,” answered Jeff Probst, handing the broken DVD player to Smeagol, who took both pieces and ran away with them. What he did with them, we will never know................THE END.

Join us next season when Gandalf, Eowyn, Orc #342, Sauroman, Sauron, Deagol, Elrond, Harry Potter, Bilbo, Eomer, Gollum, and Ring Wraith #8 fight it out to be the next Lord of the House!!

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