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| MISSION NEOROCK. AIMS: To leech the financial resources of Planet Earth and transfer into exotic Sanatorian bank accounts. To continue research on Experiment omega-5. METHOD: Dispatch top-selling Sanatorian artists to Planet Earth to divert funds from multinational labels that mass produce 'designer' bands. Unite selected agents with the alternative 'fringe' and prudently infiltrate mainstream pop. The agents will be collectively known as WARD "C". |
| SANATORIAN SUPERSTARS. The following artists currently involved in Experiment omega-5 were eventually selected following an exhaustive elimination process based entirely upon substance abuse and bribery: |
| N.B. The actual identity of these agents has been suppressed to protect their families on Planet Sanatorius. It is known that at least two have previously visited Planet Earth on more than one occasion. |
| THE ANAESTHETIST ... lead guitar, rhythm guitar THE MORTICIAN ... bass MR. STROKER ... drums, concussion, backing vocals NURSE DEMOLITION ... keyboards, backing vocals ORANGE CONCENTRATE ... drums, backing vocals, screams, growls |
| departed Superstars. The following artists were once invaluable asylum assets but have now abandoned Mission Neorock: |
| wardc.live.com.au |
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| INTRODUCING: WARD "C" WARD"C" consists of approximately five Sanatorian Superstars voluntarily stranded on Planet Earth. Dispatched across the universe as part of Experiment omega-5, their intention (Mission Neorock) is to bring their unique interplanetary skills to the attention of the contemporary music culture through a combination of excellence in live performance and sound. Their progress is supposedly closely monitored by their Sanatorian superiors, but an unknown problem is temporarily frustrating communication efforts. |
| DOCTOR APOLLO |
| MATRON X |
| PSYCKO SURGEON |
| THE FIREMAN |
| NURSE NASTY |
| MR. STROKER |
| THE ANAESTHETIST |
| THE MORTICIAN |
| DOCTOR APOLLO is no stranger to interstellar transfer. Evidence of previous visits to Planet Earth in particular can be seen extending across the continents in, amongst other countries, Egypt, Australia and Great Britain. Indeed, the remnants of spectacular props constructed for long since forgotten concert extravaganzas can still be seen on what is currently known as Easter Island. Much of DOCTOR APOLLO's time and energy is diligently spent furthering research on Experment omega-5. Some of his inspirations are hard to follow and he sometimes has difficulty convincing his co-workers that a particular research path is valid. Circulating rumours suggest he is not from Planet Sanatorius and his space tribe is actually unknown. |
| MATRON X is formidable, truly a woman to be reckoned with. She has been sniffing and plucking thick G-strings ever since she discovered the appropriate equipment to satisfy her bassic needs. Her obsequious coniform bosom fails to adequately reveal, even to the trained observer, the true nature of the dark shadows lurking within the cesspool that her tainted psyche has become. It is not clear what force or entity motivates her. What is clear is that DOCTOR APOLLO's charms have little effect on MATRON X and he has no real authority over her. She grimly tolerates his erratic research directions, displaying frank contempt for his superfluous sidetracking, subsequent U-turns and consequent procrastination. Her loyalty to PROFESSOR OMEGA is however absolute and she obeys and submits to DOCTOR APOLLO for the sake of Mission Neorock and for the advancement of research pertaining to Experiment omega-5. |
| PSYCKO SURGEON is almost universally misunderstood. His manic phases are transient episodes that generally persist for no longer than twenty Earth days. He was recruited by PROFESSOR OMEGA soon after being awarded first class honours from the Sanatorian Medical Institute for his paper entitled "Novel Methods for the Dissection of Lifeless Plastic Humanoid Neonates". PSYCKO SURGEON's unparalleled ability to reattach these severed items to himself is extraordinary and the subject of numerous Sanatorian documentaries. He is revered by religious leaders from several certain obscure cultures on Planet Sanatorius who practice this rare skill with uncertainty. They regard those proficient in the craft as being personally favoured by THE WISE ONES. |
| He happily volunteered for all potentially dangerous assignments and particularly relished projects involving chemical and electrical equipment. This fascination apparently originated from early Experiment omega-5 research which was heavily influenced by the mischevious MR. STROKER and THE ANAESTHETIST. |
| ORANGE CONCENTRATE is hungry. Ravenous. So hungry, in fact, he is obliged to wear a muzzle when outside the familiar confines of the asylum for the safety of Planet Earth species in general. He has no appetite for Sanatorian flesh, with stewed Dodo testicles on a bed of brown rice his dish of choice. He has no real mastery of any phonetic communication and interaction is limited to telepathic contact with his fellow Sanatorians. Those without a high pass in Telepathy or Premonition from a recognised Sanatorian institution are cautioned to entertain the company of ORANGE CONCENTRATE at their own risk. |
| You could be forgiven for thinking that something nasty must have recently exploded in NURSE DEMOLITION's face. The haze of charcoal-like dust that seems to envelop him serves as poignant reminder to all of the continual hazards facing Experiment omega-5 researchers. |
| ORANGE CONCENTRATE |
| COMING SOON |
| NURSE DEMOLITION |
| COMING SOON |
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| Lock up your children, NURSE NASTY is in the house !! NURSE NASTY knows what s/he wants and exactly how to get it. S/He has the goods - a now patented chromosomal deletion which sent NURSE NASTY's profile on planet Sanatorius soaring after receiving long-overdue recognition at the 43rd annual Sanatorian Thorax Expo for expressing 'The Most Hideously Permanent Mammary Erectile Tissue'. NURSE NASTY uses this mutation to advantage and runs a successful chain of fashion outlets entirely financed by Sanatorian clientelle enjoying Thorax Mutational Therapy. NURSE NASTY redefines gender boundaries. S/He has a fetish for polyvinylchloride outfits in shades of light blue. |
| THE FIREMAN is instantly recognisable by his trademark trendsetting hairstyle, peculiar to Sanatorian Conflagrationalists. THE FIREMAN has won numerous Sanatorian awards and competitities in Mind Control Mechanics. Recently he revealed to Planet Earth his Disco Mind Bomb - a device, if detonated, creates an irrestible and erotic need by Earth bipeds to do 'The Nutbush' naked with Little Johnny upon sight. This talented, obscure and slightly twisted Sanatorian obviously has more little delights up his sequined sleeve to reveal at appropriate opportunities. |
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| COMING SOON |
| COMING SOON |
| DOCTOR APOLLO ... microphonics MATRON X ... bass, backing vocals THE FIREMAN ... keyboards, backing vocals & noises NURSE NASTY ... lead & rhythm guitar, backing vocals PSYCKO SURGEON ... drums, backing vocals |
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